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Stockton

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About Stockton

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    Netherlands

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  1. I've been taking Escitalopram for two years and discontinued it in July because it didn't have any effect on me – except for that lack of energy too! I felt constantly tired and somehow "damped". The tiredness got better after discontinuing. Maybe you should speak to your doctor about switching to another SSRI altogether.
  2. Thank you very much. It's nice to know someone is listening.
  3. Hi everyone, This is my first post here, so bear with me. At the moment, I'm stuck in my life. I don't know how to continue. A year ago, I decided to start studying abroad for my undergraduate studies. I've always been a bit adventurous, so moving into a different country and dealing with the language wasn't a big problem for me. However, for the last four years, I've also lived with a huge anxiety of failure and very low self-confidence. For some reason, I am terrified of the thought of never really being good at something. I have extremely low self-confidence, and haven't been able to see any meaning or joy in life for years now, other than the thought of "making progress". And even if I delve into new things or pursue the things I (used to) love, I get really anxious about not being good enough, to the point of panic attacks. Before studying here, in high school, this already caused me to procrastinate on my schoolwork and distract myself on the Internet for days, weeks on end, so I wouldn't feel the emptiness in my life. Three months into my studies last year, I succumbed to my anxiety. I wouldn't be able to think about anything else than my courses or enjoy any activities that wouldn't "advance my abilities". I couldn't really connect to other people because all I had in mind was if they were by any chance better than me, or that they surely don't waste their life like I did. I was immensely afraid of not "making any progress" in my life. Gradually, I became more and more withdrawn, spent more and more time with surfing on the Internet and secluding myself in my apartment. In the end it got so bad that I wasn't able to go to the initial lectures at university after winter break, just out of the delusion that I wasn't prepared enough. Even though those courses didn't depend on any prior knowledge. So, this year in January, I had enough. I returned to my home country for a bit to heal and spend time with my family, with the plan to work on my problems and return to university this September. I made appointments with my psychiatrist and told him everything. I met up with old friends and even spent two months in a mental facility to work intensively on my problems. When I got out, I had the feeling that I could make it, because there I thought I've learnt that other people can accept me just for who I am and not what I do. Two months ago, I returned to continue my studies. Everything seemed to be going fine at first. I met some people and my grades were good. But for some reason, things didn't stay that way. The further into the semester I got, the more anxious I would get about the things I don't know, about the time I've lost dealing with my anxiety and depression. It turned out the same way again: I withdrew and procrastinated more and more. Now, almost a year after I left for my home country the first time, I am sitting here again. I haven't gone to university for the past week. I haven't responded to the messages people here sent me, out of fear of humiliation. My parents are very supporting, and a week ago, my mother suggested once again to return home. I've tried so much. I found a psychologist here, tried connecting with more people and am trying out Prozac since three weeks. And yet, nothing. I am just clueless about what to do now. I don't know if I'll be able to return to university. But if I can't make it here, I don't know if I can make it anywhere else.