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About Tstiefler

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  1. Thanks. I'm out of ideas. It doesn't feel like animal therapy would do much, but I appreciate the suggestion. Wish I could find someone in my position who's still alive that's gotten through it...
  2. Hey everyone. I'll just get right to it. I've been struggling with depression/anxiety since I was 13. I'm 28 now. For the last decade I've been actively trying to find a solution, without much progress. Here is what I've tried during that time: Ayahuasca, The Hoffman Process, Neurofeedback therapy for 3 years, Traumatic Brain Injury analysis, Hormonal therapy based on blood tests (vitamins, homeopathics), Mindfulness/meditation for 1 year, Analysis for 1 year, regular therapy for 3 years, regular therapy for 2 years with another psych, psychiatrists on and off throughout prescribing the following medications - prozac, zoloft, effexor, lexapro, citalopram, abilify, klonopin, wellbutrin, lamictal... What do I do? How do you continue to have hope? How can people tell me that it gets better?
  3. I've been battling it for 15 years (28 now) and could use some advice/inspiration from survivors. Since 13 I've been in therapy and been trying different meds on and off. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and pure o OCD. I've done psychoanalysis, traditional therapy, neurofeedback, ayahuasca, the Hoffman process, blood tests, hormonal therapy, mindfulness training, but feel like I'm still stuck in my head ruminating about negativity. As of 3 months ago I went on 200mg Wellbutrin and 10mg citalopram. It helps a bit but not the amount I'm hoping for. And I still feel depressed and obsessed with how to get better more than I like. Just a little more background below for those who are interested: Externally my life is great. I live in a nice apartment in one of the best cities in the world. I am financially secure. I have friends, a great job that I’m good at and two parents who love and support me. Internally my life can be a nightmare. I experience persistent negative thoughts, which can make me feel miserable no matter where I am. I helplessly obsess over my issues, desperately trying to figure out what’s wrong and how to feel better. And the fact that I’m unhappy crushes my self confidence, makes interacting with others unpleasant, causes me to think not feel, and a myriad of other issues. Since this internal turmoil sours everything, the most important ideal outcome has always been to overcome my mental illness. Unfortunately it feels like the harder I try, the more I dwell on what’s wrong and the more I feel frustrated with the results, but it doesn’t feel like I can turn it off. All I want to do is figure things out in order to live a happier more fulfilling life. I feel stuck on what to do and how to move forward.
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