Hello everyone, I am new to this forum.
I need advice that will actually work. Something I haven't heard before. I apologize if my post comes across as sounding snarky, I'm just tired and desperate. I have posted this in another forum, but I am hoping for more help.
I have had clinical depression for several years. In this time, I have seen therapists, taken medication, and done what I was told to try to improve (gratitude journaling, positive thinking, appreciating the little things, taking a break, labeling my emotions and talking about them, taking time for myself, etc.), but nothing is working. In fact, I have gotten more depressed, not better.
I have a "good life," a supportive family, a partner, food on the table, a job, a healthy diet and time to exercise, and a normal weight, but I am still unhappy. Because of this, sometimes I feel greedy.
I don't like the way life is in general. I don't like that there is pain in suffering all of the time, and that no matter what, there is always stress and tons of effort just to do something. I see or hear things upsetting, which ruins me. I feel like every day something awful happens to others or myself, and I'm tired of the pain. I don't like the state of existence in general, the good or bad feelings. None of it.
Please DON'T tell me:
To find a purpose in life
To try more medication
That living is wonderful, and I just don't see it
To practice mindfulness
That one day I'll feel better
That taking a deep breath works
To try yoga
To think about the things that make me happy
To try group therapy
That happiness is a choice/there's nothing I can do (I'm not hopeless, but I don't like to feel like people think I'm just not trying either.)
To stop worrying
To get a hobby
That other people have it worse
To be grateful
To be strong
To stop watching the news (I don't! I see bad things in my life.)
That I'm weak
To see someone/Try a new therapist (I have done this many times, and I have one currently!)
To act silly (e.g. take odd selfies just for laughs, be "random" etc.. I'm a serious person, and do not like doing these things!)
Please, I need real help! From people who understand! I found this forum because of what's on my mind. I can't take this anymore.
Thank you in advance.