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babyxgothxx

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Posts posted by babyxgothxx

  1. 13 hours ago, Deep_joy said:

    With all due respect to your current situation, unfortunately, blocking someone is aiding to jealousy/resentment.

    And we would never get out of that vicious loop (with same or different persons) until we act on ourselves rather than on devices/apps.

    Yes, true! This feels like a constant loop! Last night, after unblocking him, I stalked some girls who I though he may like and I got extremely jealous. He was flirting with them before getting with his girlfriend. This girl is the same age as me and LOVES my crush to death. I hope he won't date her when he's single. There we go again!

  2. 14 hours ago, anxiousE said:

    Couldn't help but read what happened. So sorry! Sad to say it, but you have company. The reason I'm online today is because I'm still crushed that I was blocked on messenger and went through all you did with "do I try to friend him Again? Do I block him? Do I block all our mutual friends? How can I look them in the eye now?!" And that's why I am here today. I'm tempted to try friending him again. I don't even know why he had to block me. I mean, he didnt warn me. I'm sure he has his own issues. But I'm just so mad and sad and mad at our mutual friends and I just want to say **** Facebook Right now! He was part of why I came on in the first place. Others don't even talk to me, maybe like things once in awhile or view it, but this is bulls***! 

    Forgive me. I'm p***** and devastated and I just don't know how to forget either because I still think he's pretty great. That damn unconditional love. Jerk thing he did though and I imagine him thinking horrible thoughts about me, like he's proud he finally got rid of me and here I am clueless as to what I did. 😞

    sorry, I'm really distraught. Quite bad timing (with guests here) but I'm hidden in my room right now "sleeping". Ughhh! 

    so, I'm sorry to hear your news, but you're not alone. Hugs

    Thanks so much for this! I am very very sorry you are going through that but let me tell you, everything you said is exactly what I'm dealing with 😞 It's fine. Everything you're feeling is normal and to be expected. What I've done is unblocked my crush and leaving it to him whether or not he wants to be friends. I'm trying to distract myself in the meantime. I can't message him either! I'm still angry and offended as well. Wish I had some comforting words but I don't know how.

    It's not bad timing, we can help each other go through this! The pain is still fresh at the moment! I only come online for my crush as well. My friends don't talk to me. My crush didn't warn me but then again, I should've used some common sense! I was almost harassing my crush!!!!! Then when he didn't want to be friends on Saturday, I called him a "POS" and "autistic f--k!" Real classy haha That's why he blocked me from Messenger. So then I got my friend to unadd him and then I blocked my crush altogether 😕 

    Just words of advice, please don't block your mutual friends! You will regret it when the pain numbs. Also, don't try to get revenge like I did. That will add more fuel to the fire. Please try not to insult your crush like I also did. That way, you will have a better chance to become friends again. When you see your crush again, things will be awkward. Mine didn't look at me ugh!

    Guys are weird. Sometimes I wish they never existed haha Sorry if that offended anyone here! Also, try giving him some space to come around. I don't know your situation but maybe he will eventually unblock you, unless you were harassing him. Can you send your crush a friend request? I can't with mine because he rejected it ages ago. He has always sent me one since. Good luck and HUGS!!!! Please keep us updated, hun :hugs:❤️  

  3. 37 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

    watching a person you like move on ...very painful......but you know its for the best. you can't offer him anything since you are messed up by this illness...and it is what it is...i hope he finds happiness..

    This! It's painful. Though you do have a lot to offer. The guy doesn't see it but we do. Your illness doesn't change that

  4. 2 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

    @babyxgothxx I did mean it as dark humor, so laughing is appropriate. Hahaha. I'm such an old cynic.

    I think my family would be supportive if I spent more time with them. But that often dredges up even more regrets from my past. I quickly become overwhelmed by all of it.

    You have such a great sense of humour though, JD! :biglaugh:

    Oh dear :console: Does your family remind you of the past? Is that why you avoid them? It's okay, you don't have to mention anything. I really don't want to overwhelm you at all 😞 

  5. 2 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

    @babyxgothxx Honestly, I wish I'd never even started. I was already stupid before drinking and the booze only made it worse. Far worse.

    It's probably the biggest regret of my life. The one thing I wish I could go back in time to change. 1977 was a long time ago.

    Same here sweetie. Alcohol amplifies everything and caution is thrown out the window. It's not your fault. If you don't mind but what happened all those years ago? 😞 

  6. 1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

    I wish my family understood how depression has kept me from attending gatherings or being more sociable.

    I'm turning into the crazy old cat guy...maybe I should get a Gran Torino and yell out the front door at kids on the lawn.

    Is it bad that I laughed at the last bit haha? 

    In seriousness, it's awful to have a shallow family. Like @sober4life said, family is supposed to make you feel supported, loved and understood. No words can explain how outcast and envious you feel when your friends talk about their "loving family!" My family drives me crazy. They bring out the worst in me. Sad. The anger you feel is indescribable. You keep it to yourself because you just end up bickering 😕  

    If any of you guys have a supportive, loving family, please savour and show all your love to them. 

  7. 1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

    That's because most of us have been in similar situations....or know how easily we could find ourselves in such situations.

    I've done some amazingly bone-headed things over the decades, both drunk and sober.

    And...it ain't my place to judge. "Let he who is without sin..."

    It's true. Those who have been in similar situations are more likely to forgive lol There are a lot of shallow people out there. That's why it's so shocking to find kind, forgiving ones. Those who haven't been in your shoes should think before they say or not say anything at all!

    I am getting weary of drinking now. I almost drank myself sick on Saturday. At least I only have a bottle of alcohol left for Saturday. This time, I will have more control haha Thank goodness I'm not the only one f--king up my life with alcohol. Not saying I'm glad that you have, I'm saying it's good not to feel alone :hugs:

  8. 7 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

    Doesn't sound like he's the vengeful type so I think you'll be OK. Just make sure you leave him alone, don't keep pushing the issue. 

    Well hope not haha I won't make it worse, he's already blocked me on Messager. All I can do now is "Poke" or "Block" him! Oh well, I deserve it

  9. 2 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

    It depends on the situation, most people can drink moderately once a week and they'll be fine but in your case it seems to be very damaging since you cannot limit the amount you drink and it makes you lose control. Not saying that you can never drink again but as long as you're not stable you absolutely need to stay away from it. You're drinking too much and for the wrong reasons. Even when it's a social situation, there's a big difference between having 1 drink and getting drunk. Sure, you're young and everybody else is doing it too but you need to do what's right for you, just because binge drinking is common among young people does not make it OK. 

    I'd also encourage you to come clean and tell your friend that the things you said about your crush were made up. Losing control is one thing but you need to be an adult and own up to your mistakes even if it's uncomfortable at times. 

    True! Once a week is perfectly fine if limited. Some people have a glass of alcohol after work and that's it. Me, like people my age, have problems with binge drinking. I feel sober even if I'm immensely drunk! I do it to completely wipe out my pain! I must stop, or at least, learn to limit consumption. Drinking is SO fun in moderation! It wasn't made to ease our symptoms, you know? It's made for nights out or something. Thanks for saying binge drinking is common with young people. It's good to not feel alone haha

    I really should come clean. I'm scared my crush will printscreen the conversation and post it on his Facebook wall or Instagram and caption "This is what I received on Saturday; she called me autistic f--k" or something like that. Then, my best friend and other friends will know the truth and hate me. My friends think I am an innocent angel. Well, they will be shocked to read that!!!! I am not a demon ugh!

    I shouldn't have lied but I was super mad at my crush for snapping and wanted to get back at him. I feel like a 5-year-old right now! I can't believe I'm almost 20. No 20-year-old does this! That was the first time I ever really insulted someone 😕 

  10. I am paranoid that my crush will print screen our conversation last night and show my/his friends. Hope not! That would almost be the end of the world. All my friends will despise me and I know the girlfriend was unadd me too! That's what I get for drinking irresponsibly, help please  

  11. 16 minutes ago, sober4life said:

    I'm feeling good today.  I'm going to enjoy mom's birthday.  I made her a bouquet of flowers from the flowers we have here at the house.❤️

    Is her Birthday today? If so, Happy Birthday to your Mum!!! Awww that's so sweet and thoughtful! She will love the gift ❤️ Hope you have a fantastic day 🎂

  12. 48 minutes ago, sober4life said:

    If that's where you are at with the alcohol you're to the point where it's probably never going to be fun again.  It's ruining your life.  Soon you will consider it your worst enemy.  It will become the job you hate that you still have to show up for.  Run while you still can!

    Yes I really should run away from it! I only drink once a week, is that bad? Well, it is because it made me lose my crush, forever! I'm like a different person when I drink, whether it's good or bad

  13. 4 hours ago, Deep_joy said:

    I wish you could see how impulsive your actions are independent of you being drunk/sober.

    It is harder than just saying, but try delaying the impulsive non-productive actions (drinking, usage of social media ....) whenever they arise. Take some deep breathing at that time and do something else (listening songs, take a walk outside, do even something which is most insignificant to you ...). And if you manage, pat your back for the achievement. 🙂

    Any good habit takes so long time, such as not drinking alcohol as @lonelyforeigner repeatedly requested you. Look at the bigger picture in long run. I see so many supportive comments from other DF members towards you, too. Shouldn't go in vain. 🙂

    I will definitely reconsider it in the future! Drinking has ruined my friendship with my crush, probably forever

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