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Christopher

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About Christopher

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  1. Hey, i just wanted to tell you that I found someone who loves me. I am in a great relationship and we are going to marry :) So do not give up hope.
  2. Hi everybody, I guess you do not remember me. My name is Chris and I am a recovering illegal drug addict and I also used to suffer from depression. I say "used to" because to my mind I do not suffer from depression anymore. Three years ago I wrote a lot of stuff I regret having written today. When I was reading my old posts on another board yesterday I was ashamed and shocked and I hartly could believe that I had written this. It felt like this was written by another person. It seemed like this was not me, this person who was always complaining about his life, whining that everything was hopeless. I wrote a lot of irrational things (for example I thought that I would never have a grilfriend). This turned out to be untrue. I am about to marry. Thanks. Chris
  3. I hope you have a good day.

  4. I was brought up by my aunt and uncle and i love them. I really do, but there is also something i hate about them. My uncle is sort of a self-made man, who started a por immigrant and now runs his own successful business and my aunt looks up to him and adores him. Now my uncle is very clever and he knows it and he despises people who are not that way. In school i got pretty good grades most of the time and he told me he liked it and that i was clever. He is always reading books, when is was younger i wanted to read his books (book for grown ups) and he gave them to me and said "i know you'll understand them, you are clever". However whenever i brought home a bad grade he took away my radio and TV for punishment and did not listen to what i said. He told me that i had not worked hard enough (no matter how hard i had worked) and treated me like someone who had broken the law and my auntie did not dare to treat me better. Every time i cried he made fun of me and my auntie did not say a word about it. I am not a person who weares his heart on his sleeve. I rarely cried. I was a child back then and i think i was not a wimpy one. Children sometimes do cry because they aren't little grownups but children. May be i should be happy, because other people have families who are worse and i love them and adore them... but... i always feel like it is not okay to be imperfect and i only feel loveable when i am successful, i do not get good grades in college, but i know my family is expecting me too. They do not believe i try my best, they are always telling me i am not trying hard enough. When i am depressed they tell me that i only care about myself and that i should stop being whiny and that everybody feels bad at times but i am the only one always complaning. It is not true i am always complaining. I never talk about my feelings.
  5. You are welcome to steal my topic ;-). I am glad your are feeling better. Putting on a happy face - even if you don't feel like it is always a good idea. Even if it is a fake smile it will make you feel better. Take care. Chris
  6. Thanks for your reply. You know, my problem is that i cannot fix everything about my. I am really trying not to gain weight. I jog every morning. I am eating to much, that's the problem. I will try not to eat that much. Do you have an idea how to? I cannot really help eating. The only time when i was not constantly eating too much was when i was really depressed, now that i am getting better i cannot stop eating and my medication makes me also gain weight. But you are right about drinking pop. I should stop this. ... and no matter if am fat or skinny, my face is always fat. Years ago, when i was really, really depressed and sick i was near underweight, but still had a fat face. Well everyone is different, for me... I chew gum when I have snack cravings. But at the same time.. if you are feeling hungry or feeling like you are craving something then your body is telling you that you need it. I get random cravings for fish and chicken all the time (and I hardly eat meat..). If you get the urge to eat something.. then pick something healthy, carrots or celery with a low calorie dressing, a glass of milk or some cereal! You can't fix everything about yourself, but you also can't beat yourself up about it. You are who you are, and someone WILL love you for that, you just have to learn to love yourself first. Hey, Thanks for your answer. chewing gum may be a good idea. I did this a time ago, when i stopped smoking. May be i should do this again. I am always craving chocolate and fudge. Celery won't do :(, may be i should drink cocoa, because it tastes like chocolate in a way.
  7. Did it ever happen to you that someone made a mean comment about your illness, that gave you flashbacks (i mean flashbacks of the comment) years later? What did s/he say?
  8. That's one of my problems. I rarely meet women, because i a shy and i do not like to party. I have only few friends and they are always patronzing the same pub, so i do not have much chances to meet women. I joined a mixed sports club in order to meet women, but i found out nearly everybody there was male. I really think that i do treat women right whenever i have the chance to meet them, but they do not seem to care about me. May be it is also, because i used to do drugs and i am from a little village, so everybody knows.
  9. I don't really know. Just wanted to talk to somebody, just wanted to say "hey".
  10. Thanks for your reply. You know, my problem is that i cannot fix everything about my. I am really trying not to gain weight. I jog every morning. I am eating to much, that's the problem. I will try not to eat that much. Do you have an idea how to? I cannot really help eating. The only time when i was not constantly eating too much was when i was really depressed, now that i am getting better i cannot stop eating and my medication makes me also gain weight. But you are right about drinking pop. I should stop this. ... and no matter if am fat or skinny, my face is always fat. Years ago, when i was really, really depressed and sick i was near underweight, but still had a fat face.
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