Hircon

Glad to help, chaterbox. And I'm very happy to hear that the medication is working well. Fingers crossed!

Hi Tifa, Getting to a diagnosis is a painful time, and it is very frustrating. As r90 says, try not to focus on the labels too much. That said, I know I was terrible at that, because I absolutely *have* to know things and what is happening. Before I was diagnosed I was rapidly feeding on my own "need to know" feelings, which added to my anxiety, which is a side effect of severe mood swings for me (when depressed). Yes, what you have described does sound like it was not normal behaviour, however I just want to caution that by adding some people are very susceptible to medications and drugs. I would highly recommend that you do a few things, to help get a diagnosis: 1) Stop all drugs and alcohol. I understand this will be hard with peer pressure and "high" moods, but it really is necessary to find a "level" 2) Write a mood diary, and update it daily if you can From what I understand, in the US you need to find your own Psychiatrist. I'm not sure what the best options are when you don't have insurance... is there a mental health clinic or something you can go to? Asking your GP may be the best step, as they will have many answers, or also looking up local support groups and asking them as they often have experience and reference information. Best wishes, Hircon

Rose, Star... sorry to hear you're both still struggling. I really hope that you manage to break free soon - as silly as it may be that is one thing I always cling to with BP, I'll never be depressed forever, because I *know* I'll switch! Here is a cake for you both: (to share) Some soothing music: A pair of cats to keep you warm: A dog to chase the cats: And... a ninja to protect you from anyone who would ruin your day:

Hi Don, I can't really comment on the Seroquel unfortunately. As to your other two queries, I've never had a blackout - I remember all too well. I completely lose emotional memory, but retain physical memory. Sleeping... Sometimes I've had to be put on something like Stilnox or one of the variants of that type to force me to sleep, but even they sometimes don't work. I've never had any help from benzos sleeping. To be honest, I believe my sleep has only ever improved through 2 things: Successful treatment of the BP, and a lot of little things such as a bedtime routine, trying to keep the same sleep/wake times. The biggest one that I've found helpful is a very quiet music or hypnosis track as I try to sleep. Music is usually something like Tori Amos - quiet piano tracks. The hypnosis tracks are more guided meditation style, focusing yourself on relaxing your muscles. Neither of these are a quick fix, but I've found them very helpful when used long-term as part of my routine. Hope I helped a little. Hircon

Hi chaterbox, One of the things with Bipolar is that often it isn't a "Pure" up and down, although it is often thought to work that way. We can go high, then low, then 'flat', then low, then lower, then sky-high... although we often follow patterns it isn't a sure thing. Also, we can get "mixed states", where we are both depressed and manic/hypo... so that we are feeling negative and listless, but with huge energy reserves that need to go *somewhere*. Then of course we can descend into massive irritability or even rage. There are so many variations Hircon

Deb, you're more than welcome to join us - the more the merrier! I really hope you can get to your ceremony, and I'm very, very proud that you've managed to still succeed at so many things in life while struggling with this disease; I know how hard it can be. Welcome, jtowery, and I hope you enjoy your stay with us. I completely understand the situation you're in; talk about frustrating. But I just wanted to remind you to make sure you also remember what you have succeeded at, because while fighting BP it sounds like you've also got your acupuncturist license *and* are holding down a job! That is a couple of great feats right there, that not many others could do coming from such a low. (((Helen))) If I could enter the internet I would go find that email for you, yes I would! Glad you're feeling better, even if Uni is annoying! Rose, glad you're managing to retain some positivity even in the depths of a low. Best wishes that it doesn't last too much longer!! As for me, well... I've got at least a month at home now, which is great. Family christmas... and I've had the most stable mood for about 2 months now, its great. Even with the travel!

Welcome, allyourstars. Not that I'd wish it on anyone, but you're right - the diagnosis helps. Without it we often feel like we're fighting an invisible shadow, but once we put a name to it we can at least grapple with it on more even terms. I'm glad you're getting professional help, and hope that you get as much out of DF as I have. Hircon

Just wanted to say HEY to everyone... I'm still over in Hong Kong, had my stay here extended for work... its all a bit crazy. It makes getting on here hard though Kath, glad you have Misty!!! And ((Rose)) thanks for the kind words for Kath, I hope you're going strong yourself. Hircon

Hi SimonSez, Benzos are often avoided by a lot of doctors, so that in particular really isn't unusual. A lot of people do struggle with alternatives, because especially short-term benzos are very effective. Her comment does sound a bit abrupt, but she may have been trying to advise that until things are under control you avoid that which causes your panic/anxiety, which just unfortunately happens to be outside. She probably could have worded it better though, because it has obviously affected you badly! However, with panic/anxiety that has a known trigger, until it can be controlled avoiding the situation is often advised. Personally, my anxiety is linked very closely with my BP - once that is addressed, my anxiety is managed more easily. I am on both Sodium Valpro (for BP) and Effexor (Depression + Anxiety relief) though. Best wishes Hircon

Hi Cecilia, and welcome to DF and the Bipolar Room! It is very normal for people with any mood disorder, and particularly BP, to struggle to hold a normal "face" that we present to the world to try and hide our suffering, I know I most definitely do it. It can be a terrible drain. I can relate to a lot of what you say, describing how you feel to those who have never been depressed is very hard. It is great that you're getting professional help, and also that you've gotten a second opinion. It is very difficult to accept that you have BP, and harder still to push through the medication regime and get full treatment. As to Depakote, I take that (Sodium Valproate, or Epilim as it is branded in Australia). My doctor moved me up to 600mg very quickly, and then settled on 1000mg which keeps me mostly stable. But I also have a very high tolerance for medication, in that I have never had any bad side effects really. It is quite normal to test the waters, so to speak, with a low dose of a med before committing to a therapeutic dose. Also, the level of Depakote needed to control Bipolar is often much lower than that to control epilepsy, and often also below the level at which side-effects are really shown. Those are generalisations, but from my (non professional) understanding, most people don't get any side-effects with Depakote until about 1200-2000mg, and often 800-1200mg is enough for BP. Hope that helps, Hircon

Hi elhanan and welcome to the BP room! Feel free to pop in and say hello in the New Friends thread too, for some general chatter. Hope you enjoy your stay! Hircon