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Everything posted by law055car

  1. Having anxiety about anything and everything from what this world is becoming to to work to what might be happening next summer trying to take one day at a time and trying not to take things so personally at work and like today we have a special event happening at work and I always work a shift and a half or so but now with the new boss doing the schedule I work the second shift so me sitting here is driving me nuts patiently waiting to go to work I keep telling myself because I am so good at my job they need me I know what I'm doing and we are short-handed at work plus winter is coming and it's not helping one bit with being so dark and cold just a lot going on sorry for this being so long just need to get it out and I'm sorry if I post something in the wrong place or if I'm replying to somebody else's and it has nothing to do with it I feel like my memory is also leaving me at times and it scares me
  2. My anxiety is through the roof I know I'm overreacting but I can't help it I usually work 10:00 to 7:00 every other Friday and now new management is saying I have to work noon to 8:00 to closing I'm in bed at 7:30 at times especially during the winter then the next day I have to be at work at 8:00 I can't say nothing because then I'm a crybaby and it could be worse I could be working till 8:00 every week sorry for making this long I have a Ben a member of the site for many many years just not on here much when I am you know I'm really struggling sometimes I just need to get on here and realize I'm not alone
  3. I don't know where to post this or anything and it's been a long time since I've been on here I have very high anxiety and depression I work retail and yesterday a customer came up to me and said there is a man laying in the aisle I found an 80 year old coworker laying in the aisle and he had no color at all he looked Gray I panicked I called for my manager I couldn't stay by him but I knew I had to I just wanted to run and hide and get away all I could say was beekeeping and not very many people know where that is at instead I should have been saying mouse traps my manager after some confusion my manager found me she told me to call 911 why did I not call 911 right away I had my cell phone on me I called 911 and waited for the ambulance they got there I told him the situation and told him to follow me a cop was already in the store and they looked at the cop where do we go and he was going a different direction than what I would have so I showed them where to go and they found them bosses and loss prevention said I did the right thing but I felt like I screwed up the guy is okay he even came back into the store later to get his things and the doctors can't find nothing wrong with him but the point is I feel like I froze I couldn't look at him I couldn't do anything just wanted to run and hide I still want to cry
  4. Wishing the ringing in my ears would just go away once and for all it seems to be getting
  5. I took the dog to the dog groomers for haircut today and pull Nails out of a bunch of boards we are remodeling our house and are recycling everything
  6. I am trying to control my anxiety and depression today got into trouble at work yesterday over something so stupid that I got overexcited and ran my mouth and got into trouble and I am beating myself up I hope my boss has dropped it for good and don't let anybody else know but he has a big mouth also he said he had to talk to me so I don't get into bigger trouble
  7. I did training for work and got 60% off of cowboy boots I told my husband at least I didn't buy more Montana silversmith jewelry that was on sale 2xs at my work place
  8. Woke up this morning to find a message from my daughter and turns out she was awake and we had a great conversation I was finally feeling relaxed and was going to have a good day my husband left to run some errands and when he came home he said my mom had called and said we are Uninvited to Christmas because we were at a funeral and we had gone out to eat I was very upset mad cried everything else it was the one thing I was looking forward to when I had finally calm down my husband told me that my mom also said my cousin had committed suicide we had just buried his mom in October his dad had passed several years ago and his oldest brother was killed in a car crash over 20 years ago I would have never guessed that he out of all people would do that leaves behind a wife and one brother that lives in China
  9. I have been having chest pains for the last 2 weeks due to high anxiety been doing everything I think of to calm it down and now my kid who has mental issues has no job no money and lives far away from me and do not want to live at home is getting kicked out of her boyfriend's house there's nothing I can do I am feeling so hopeless and there's nothing I can do for her it's her life she chose it it just hurts so bad
  10. This morning I found out that someone from my church who I always looked up to is sitting in jail for something they did several years ago they are facing jail time for many years and large fines I feel sorry for everyone involved it got my anxiety going sky-high scared and worried about my kid that has mental illness and if she is going to get kicked out again she is over 800 miles away from me and I am just freaking out I am trying best not to talk to her so much because she misses me so much but yet she don't want to be here with me my emotions are all over the place just couldn't stop crying today I know God has plans for her in this church member but all I want to do is crawl in a hole and cry
  11. I was bringing shopping carts in and cleaning them and a customer from the checkout came and pushed a shopping cart and I told her I will clean it this time but next time please leave it over there because we do clean them and she went off on me had no idea why she was yelling just trying to keep people safe she said I was so rude and that she would never shop at in my store again because of me she then went called my boss and my boss yelled at me big-time had no idea what I did wrong they said it was the tone of my voice and with my anxiety my body language had changed I was getting over it until a week later when a co-worker was telling another co-worker about it and it fired up my anxiety right back I never mean to upset customers just trying to keep me and everyone around me safe
  12. Still beating myself up for making a customer mad at me even though I was trying to keep everyone safe I I always thought I was good at customer service the one job I could do right I'm not sure if I should be around customers and really doubting myself with everything so scared of losing my job even though I really do enjoy it just now is not the time for people to be out shopping especially in my town
  13. Letting go of guilt I messed up yesterday big time because of the tone of voice I use at work with a customer at work I had no idea of my anxiety was high and my tone had changed I told her something and she started yelling at at me I tried not to argue with her I I didn't realize why she was so mad it's not what I said it was how I said it very mean and rude I had no idea she turned around and called my boss and yelled and screamed at him him he then went and yelled and screamed at me big time over something so stupid that if I would have worded things a little bit better in change my tone none of this would have happened I feel really stupid ashamed and there's nothing I can do now now she's putting it all over social media of how bad customer services all because of me
  14. My husband playing with the dogs always makes me laugh
  15. Away from the General Public preferably kayaking or riding a horse at the ranch I volunteer at
  16. Wish people would just stay home and only go out for essential needs wish my employer would do more to protect us
  17. I have been with this group for many years but bear with me because now I am doing it on a cell phone and still quite don't know how to do the site so if I don't get back to you with something please don't take it personally I'm still learning I am so happy the other day I found all my blogs back from way back when


  18. water but now the drinking fountains are shut off at work I understand why but it just sucks
  19. High anxiety driving everybody nuts around me I am happy I have a job and working yet but the same time it is so scary I watched part of the national news last night I had to turn it off right away I cannot handle this anymore took the dogs for a walk last night and nobody is obeying social distancing and nothing I can do about it but I stay in my own little bubble wash my hands and stay six feet away as possible
  20. my boss told me I did excellent customer service and I saved the sale
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