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DarkRain last won the day on May 2 2013

DarkRain had the most liked content!

About DarkRain

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  • Birthday 02/09/1991

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    Lord of the Rings
    Star Wars
    video games
    marine biology
    graphic novels
    Kingdom Hearts
    writing and drawing

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  1. I don't know if this really counts as an eating's not that bad. I do know I've had this problem for quite a while where my feelings go up or down based on how much I weigh. Like I have a specific number goal I want and if I'm over it I get upset and feel bad about eating and try to cut out meals and exercise more. Except I feel so hungry so I give in and eat something and then I feel bad about that and make myself exercise more and don't make any significant loss or gain which makes me feel bad again feeding the cycle. I'm definitely not overdoing it on the sweets or processed foods either, and I know I'm right in the golden middle for my size, but I still feel bad though. It's probably all about control for me. Just wish this feeling would go away.
  2. Still wired from my cup of coffee this morning. I want to do something but have nowhere to go and can't concentrate long enough to get any work at home done. So I just browse youtube and stare at the wall. Feeling bad about my weight gain and the fact that I can't shake it off. I need to exercise more.
  3. España cañí. Again.
  4. I know I'm having a panic attack. Racing heart, not being able to breathe, feeling too hot or too cold, I'm really shaky and tearful. Nauseous. I also have heart problems but I know the symptoms of those are different and the main one is fatigue and I definitely don't feel tired. So I know it's just a panic attack. But still... I wish this would stop.
  5. Sad. Pointless.
  6. Was doing better than usual this morning. Then my mom decided to lecture me about responsibilities when I made a joke about turning 25 and wishing I was 15. I got upset because I felt I'd done something wrong. No one can take a joke. Bought myself a Star Wars action figure and some stickers to feel better. Cried all over the cat again. I've been referencing a pain chart I found online and realising that I have almost constant low levels of pain. No wonder I'm grouchy. Also having some trouble getting to sleep at night.
  7. very tense lately. Haven't been sleeping well. Achy. Feeling nauseous. Cried all over the cat. She's such a good kitty, she lets me use her as a pillow.
  8. Cranky. Tired of being pain. I recently put up a 1-10 pain chart on my desktop so I could rate my head/neck/ other aches pain. Realising that I'm at a constant 3-4 throughout the day isn't a pleasant realization. And I just discovered my headache medicine to go that I bought has as much caffeine as a serving of Mountain Dew. Wonderful. No wonder I was feeling jittery. I might as well just drink a bottle of caffeinated soda.
  9. Leave me the alone! I want to be alone today and read, draw, write, and watch movies, and eat junk food. And possibly play with the cat. I am not a morning person and it's too early for this . Don't just drop things in the middle of the floor where people walk because you don't like the thing and want someone else to deal with that. It's rude. And then when I say something and you reply 'don't get mad at me' or 'be nice' I am not going to be nice and deal with your passive-aggressive excuses! Dropping things on the floor because you don't want it and leaving someone else to deal with it is rude! And I am going to be rude back until you pick what you dropped.
  10. been crying a lot lately. I'll be 25 soon. I don't want to grow up anymore. I don't know where this is coming from other than 25 is halfway through my twenties. I haven't had a job, I'm still learning to drive and have a lot of school left to do. I want fun stuff, sometimes I go out and get it and feel better for a while, but then my mood always crashes again. Money doesn't buy happiness but a temporary reprieve is better than nothing!
  11. Just sitting and staring at the wall. I seem to do that a lot.
  12. Don't feel like going outside. Kid of want kind of don't. no, I don't want to go out of the house. I'd rather bury myself in blankets and be alone with my kitty.
  13. I want to be left alone. :verysad3: