20YearsandCounting

Welcome to DF, glad you are here. You might be from another country, but we are all citizens of the struggle against depression, eh? My biggest breakthrough is actually related to correcting 'cognitive traps' (I'll leave a link to the post that features it at the bottom). Correcting that was the opposite of easy and quick, though. It was really difficult, even once I got to a point where I could recognize the distorted thought. Once I did, it took great effort and persistence to replace it. The cognitive trap in question was a combination of all or nothing thinking/ black and white thinking - and 'discounting the positive'. For me, the realization came about when I first started walking/exercising. I would set out to walk a lap around my neighborhood - my goal was one lap. If I did not 'overachieve', if I did not walk at least one and a half laps or more, I considered myself having failed my goal, even if I walked one lap. If you cannot wrap your head around that, you're not the only one. Now that I have worked past it, I cannot grasp it myself anymore. It took a lot of persistence in changing my self talk - every time I thought about how I had failed for 'only' walking one lap, I persistently and forcefully reminded myself that I had achieved my goal, and that was good. It took quite a bit of persistence - each and every time that thought popped up, substituting it for the reality. That one took the better part of two years probably, and I still struggle with different aspects of it in many ways. But overcoming it that time was like 'breaking its back' so to speak - I may still struggle with it a little, but it is not as powerful as it was before. And that is how I fight. Every millimeter you gain counts. Every. millimeter. Hold on to it like a miser with his precious gold... https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/1384-cognitive-traps/

Can I say 'reality shows' and not get anything thrown at me? 😉 I mean, I never liked them anyway, and it only got worse when I watched behind the scenes stuff that makes it clear they are as far from reality as my nightmares....

Kudos to you for realizing that your siblings' advice is toxic. I really hope that your sister's advice will not turn you away from pursuing spirituality in general. It frustrates me so much - I think it does all of us here - that people have such toxic, ignorant views of depression. Good on ya for keeping up therapy - Yay for boundary work, it can really be a difficult thing to figure out. I hope you are finding support and encouragement here.

I appreciate the thought, iWantRope, but I think it would be best if his threads and posts remained up. He was able to help so many others, and they might still help/inspire others. I will run the idea past the site owner, though. I would expect that she would want his posts to remain up, though. Thank you for thinking of Dave.

Just hearing about this.... I"m so sorry, adam. How did you find out what happened to him? He has helped so many people here... Feel like I just watched a fellow soldier get hit every time this happens....

Apologies for the late reply, Jayy2. Being a single parent is tough, that's true. It's not always possible to take time for yourself, either. Do you have family nearby that could take the kids every once in a while? Maybe let the kids have a sleepover at a friends' house, then return the favor? I know these are not always possibilities....

Welcome to DF, Rob2020. We really cannot give medical advice here on DF, but I think Heather is right that you should always be honest with your GP. Her idea for phrasing it is really good, as it brings up the problem without assigning blame. I really hope you are able to find a helpful balance. I know the 'new med dance' can be pretty exhausting, especially this time of year.

ambecker, apologies for not getting here sooner. I hope you have figured something out, or were able to talk to a doc and get their advice. Here on DF we really cannot give medical advice, sorry. I am not sure what the side effects are for missing doses on fluoxetine.