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Everything posted by Burgy

  1. (((((poeticgirluk))))) Getting rid of those pesky testes this November should help ease up the body hair. I wish I had less of it myself (hair I mean, lol). I'm constantly "manscaping" to keep it in check. What Crystal said is so true. We all have hangups about our bodies, even the people who you might think have ideal bodies. It's more a matter of inner self-esteem, and that takes some time to build. You're headed in the right direction, so keep it up. LOL, you crack me up.
  2. Happy Daddy Day! And happy Summer Solstice! First day of summer today!
  3. I'm so excited for you (((((poeticgirluk)))))! A dream come true!!
  4. I'd say I'm not amused. I'd ask for an apology. I'd want to speak to the management.
  5. No worries, Rick. You're clearly not making value judgments. There are so many perspectives of sexuality in its many forms, surely none of us will see it in the same way. Bisexuality is a bit of a hot-button issue, since there seem to be many who either don't believe it exists or somehow resent those who identify as bisexual, and then of course there is the whole bisexual community (of which we have many here) who might feel invalidated or wrongly judged by those sentiments. Studies of brain structure regarding sexuality have been scant and inconclusive, and most medical and psychological establishments will tell you there are most likely many factors that contribute to a person's sexuality, having to do with both genetics and environment. It can make a person crazy to try to figure out what made you the way you are. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to love and appreciate yourself for exactly who you are, regardless of any of that.
  6. to DF and the GLBT forum! Don't feel bad. It's not so uncommon to feel attracted to people in a different age range, even a different generation. I've gone through phases of that myself, and still occasionally find myself contemplating a relationship or just a sexual encounter with someone significantly older or younger. There are so many reasons why this can happen, and if you'd really like to explore that, I'd suggest a good therapist that has experience with sexual matters. In my own experience, I've found a certain comfort in older men, and excitement in younger men. There's a kind of father/son dynamic to it that can be mutually fulfilling and nurturing. I don't think you're strange at all. You won't be judged here. Thanks for introducing yourself and sharing your feelings.
  7. Hi uksarah, I hope that posting about your feelings helped give you some relief. I can't imagine the confusion and torment you must be feeling. I understand how difficult it can be to accept oneself as non-hetero, and to come out to friends and family. But I've never dealt with the gender identity issue. I wish I had more advise about that, but there are a few DF members who are going through that, so hopefully they'll chime in soon. I do hope that you're able to be independent soon, to get a job and a place of your own, so you'll feel freer to make decisions that are true to you. I'm sure you feel a bit oppressed living with family when you know how opposed they are to both your sexual orientation and gender identity. That's quite a lot for parents/family to accept, but I hope in time they come around. You'll always be welcome to talk about your true feelings here, and we'll give you all the support we can.
  8. That's great to hear, jd21! I was hoping you'd find some help about that with a counselor. I hope you enjoy your summer, too.
  9. to DF and the GLBT forum! Please don't torture yourself. Fantasizing is such a natural, human thing to do. If it were more persistent or you felt compelled to carry it out, you'd want to talk to a professional about it. But it was obviously some fleeting thing that you'd never act upon. I've had my fair share of inappropriate fantasies, whether sexual, violent, cruel, etc. Everyone has, whether they feel comfortable admitting it or not. Think about some of the outrageous stuff that happens in our dreams. The mind spins off on tangents sometimes, and it's impossible to fully control it. When something like that happens, acknowledge that it's just a harmless fantasy. The big deal here is not what crossed your mind for a moment, but rather how disturbed you are by it still, and how much you're beating yourself up over it. Give yourself a break. There's a big difference between an idea and an action. It's good to have you here in the GLBT forum, although this is really not a gay issue. Everyone deals with this kind of thing. I hope you're able to be at peace with it.
  10. This is a very interesting topic... thanks for sharing. Not that I'm into labels, but since you're asking, your math doesn't add up for me. You said that your "ex-boyfriend" (not a straight man's term) thinks in black and white and can't accept gray areas, but you define yourself as "100% straight", which is about as black and white as it gets. I have doubts as to whether 100% either way exists but if it did, I don't see how a 100% straight man could bring himself to have sex with another man, let alone develop an ongoing sexual relationship with one. You need to be interested and aroused to some degree to make that happen. I identify as gay, although I had sex with a few women in my teens and 20s, so I can identify with you as the flipside, the basically gay man who can be attracted to, aroused by, and have sex with a woman on occasion, but generally prefers men. I call myself gay, but I wouldn't say I'm 100%. I suppose I'd say 90-95%, if I really had to put a number on it... but numbers aren't very sexy. :wink: It seems to me that your relationship with this man was out of balance from the start, and destined to fall apart sooner or later. Not necessarily because the two of you don't agree on percentages, but because he seems to be more needy and emotionally engaged than you, and has probably developed a deeper attachment that you couldn't reciprocate. Something similar happened to me a few years ago when I got involved with a man who was in an open relationship with another man. Although it started out as "fun", my feelings grew more intense and eventually it became too painful to just be his plaything. I wanted more, and he wasn't able to fulfill my needs, so we had a sort of blowout like the two of you had, and the relationship crumbled. Anyway, it sounds like you've been honest and respectful with your former friend, but it just wasn't meant to be. I love it! Sexuality is such a fluid and flexible thing... when allowed to be.
  11. to DF and the GLBT forum, jeff_m! Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I'm glad this forum has brought you some comfort.
  12. to DF! If you're determined to stop medication, it's important to discuss that with your doctor. Most people taper off over a few weeks. Hopefully you'll do fine, but there's a chance you'll experience problems (like withdrawal symptoms or a relapse of severe depression/anxiety), which is why it's so important to have some kind of professional supervision. Good luck with that, and with finding work. Let us know how it goes.
  13. to DF! That's an incredibly frustrating situation, to be involved romantically with someone who's clinically depressed but won't seek help. I hope he gets over his stubbornness soon and gets some kind of treatment. It's hard to believe how much better life can be when you're stuck in a chronic depression. Your question is tricky. When I'm severely depressed, there are times when I appreciate displays of affection and other expressions of love, and other times when it makes me sick. My best advice is to check in with him, and ask him specifically about that. The answer may change from day to day, or even moment to moment, depending on what kind of depression he suffers from, and how severe. Good luck, and please be sure to take care of yourself, too.
  14. I got the 'zaps' too, when I was adjusting to Wellbutrin, but it faded away after a few weeks. It would only happen as I was falling asleep, so other than the annoyance of being jerked awake occasionally, it wasn't too much of a nuisance. Thankfully I'd heard about that symptom before it happened to me, so I wasn't freaked out by it.
  15. Thanks for posting that, DarkRain! Members can PM you for the link to the video if they want to see it. Gay penguins raising a chick... how cute is that.
  16. Many people are able to successfully reduce their dosage or discontinue meds altogether, after a period of treatment. Some have to stay on indefinitely. You'll never know for sure until you try, but it's very important to discuss your plans with a doctor and have some kind of supervision, in case your mental health takes a plunge when you reduce your dosage or go off your meds. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
  17. to DF and the GLBT forum! Sorry to hear about that awful relationship. I hope you've been able to recuperate a little and abstain from alcohol since then. Life sure knows how to test us, and sometimes it can seem so cruel. I've done most of the things you've mentioned, too. I went through the meds and individual/group counseling, and I'm still doing the yoga, self-help books, and binaural sound waves you mentioned (my favorite is Jeffrey Thompson, especially his Gamma Meditation System), as well as nutrition, supplements, and meditation. Any one of those things alone wouldn't do much for me, but put it all together and I think it helps a lot. It can be so frustrating when the "normal" people (whatever that is) just cannot grasp clinical depression, and give shallow and irritating advise. Here at DF you'll get a lot of support from people who really understand what you're going through.
  18. Burgy


    What a great investment of your time and money, and what a nice first experience!
  19. The brand I take is MEG-3, and I buy through the Vitamin Shoppe, either online or at one of their retail stores, because they have some great deals. You can Google MEG-3 or Vitamin Shoppe to find their websites. The exact item number I buy is VS-1045, if you want to look it up.
  20. Total Eclipse of the Heart has been stuck in my head for days, ever since a certain member (you know who you are) sent me the "literal video version" remake on YouTube. Freaking hilarious, but now I can't get that tune or the possessed choir boys out of my head.
  21. Nice to see you back here. An easy way to keep track of your recent posts is from your profile, just click on Posts and they'll come up in a list, beginning with the most recent. If we move a post, we'll always let you know via PM. I hope your interview went well. That can be such a nerve-wracking experience, even when you're healthy. I've been dealing with lingering unemployment myself, and it's very discouraging. Keep trying, and just take it a step at a time.
  22. I'm glad to hear the Cipralex is already helping. You should keep improving over the next few weeks. In my experience, Cipralex (which we call Lexapro here) helped to stabilize my emotional state, so that I wouldn't get so swept up and upset over everything. I hope it does the same for you. Try to be patient, as it usually takes 6-8 weeks to fully adjust.
  23. to DF! I can relate to most of what you said. Many people here share your feelings. Hopefully DF will help you feel less isolated.
  24. They keep saying rain is coming, but it's taking forever. Come on, rain! <--- rain dance
  25. to DF! It can be so frustrating to get the rah-rah speeches from people who don't understand clinical depression. Nevermind them. You'll be thoroughly understood here, by people who can truly relate to what you're going through.
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