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blah whatever

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Everything posted by blah whatever

  1. Yes people like us will end up stronger, and able to handle things with ease that others will cave under the pressure. You have a chance to better yourself over time that weaker people will never have, so don't give up when you have a setback.
  2. I read your story and it sounds like you have a strong will to live. I don't have much family or friends, atheist, etc. Nothing to fall back on, no safety net. But that made me more intent on doing what I can to provide for myself since I can't count on anyone else. I am a man with a mission and if you're not here to help me then get out of my way. That's pretty much my philosophy now...
  3. Sounds like we are in similar situations. I am a professional and make good money but hate my job. I have been at this same job almost 5 years. The difference though is I have a longer term plan I am working towards, so this job is just a paycheck to me. I have noticed some people I work with who get way more stressed/depressed over their career/jobs than me because they have so little control over it. But there's only so much control you can have over your career or your job if you work for someone else, that's just the way it is. The sooner people can accept that, the sooner they can be released of the baggage that comes with the illusion that you do have any control over it. The bottom line is I am there for the money, that's the only reason I am there. So I am going to get it while the getting is good. Do you have a longer term plan? I live way below my means, avoid debt, and save every dime I can because my goal is to be financially independent enough through real estate investments. In the future I will still need to work, but I can be very choosy about what I do because I will still have rental income coming in. If you make good money, maybe you should take advantage of it? Not everyone has the opportunity to make good money so if you have it, think about all the options that gives you. The way I see it, I could be miserable making minimum wage, or I can be miserable making six figures, but with the option of putting myself in a better position in the future. I will take Option B.
  4. 3 years per job these days is stable as far as I am concerned. This isn't 1950 anymore, and it's a fantasy for anyone to think that they can get a job and stay there for any length of time. In fact, the longer you work somewhere the more at risk you are to getting the ax the next time they "restructure", "realign" or "trim the fat". Employment in general these days is pretty depressing even if you like what you do. There's more competition for fewer good jobs, and even if you get a good job there's no guarantee you'll keep it for any length of time. You're always just one "restructuring" or "reorg" away from losing it, and that's the reality of modern day employment unfortunately. I am in the same boat.....
  5. Good things: Stable job, steady paycheck, able to save money Bad things: Hate job, hate where I live, no friends, no family, no life I basically work, sleep and eat, and that's my entire life. It's causing my depression to become really hard to manage. I have been in this same stagnant, monotonous state for about the past 2 years. It has been very very difficult, but I feel that financially it's in my best interest to stick this out and keep saving money for as long as I can. In the past when I have felt stagnant and unhappy, I would quit my job and just pick up and move to a new state or city where I knew nobody, and start over from scratch. I think for many people this would be too much risk and unknown but I am a risk taker and love new adventures and most of the time when I completely shook my life up like that it ended up ok, although it can be scary. The problem is that I am now 52 years old, and the older you get the more risky that type of behavior is because if something backfires and goes wrong you don't have the time to recover like a 25 year old does. I thought by now I would "settle down" and would want more stability as most older people do, but that's not happening. In fact if I had enough money I would get rid of all my possessions and just live in hotels in resort cities and go on a new adventure every day. Another thing that is preventing me from doing anything, is that everything seems very bleak to me right now. Although the economy has been improving for the last few years, many Americans are still just barely able to keep their heads above water. Housing prices and rents have gone through the roof, healthcare costs are approaching levels of insanity I have never seen in my life. With each passing year, the average person seems to be struggling more and more, yet the economy is supposedly "good". What happens when the economy goes south again? Younger people in their 20's that I work with don't seem very optimistic about the future either, and they are our future. What message is that sending? I am not sure, but I don't think it's a good one. I feel trapped, like I want to change things, but leaving a good job seems too risky even if I wasn't 52. This isn't like 1995 where just about anyone could quit a job without having another one lined up and have a new comparable job within a few weeks, even a better job. Now, it seems you are gambling with your life if you try something like that. Does anyone have any optimism about anything these days? I would love to hear from one person that is!
  6. I have existential depression and have had it pretty much my entire adult life. Like you I don't have much passion for anything, don't care about things that most other people care about, and I get bored very easily. I am not religious either, I really don't even believe in god. Pointless as it all may be, I decided long ago that I was at least going to at least try and make my life as fun and interesting as possible so that's pretty much what I did. I exercise daily and try to eat somewhat ok (because if your health goes then you really end up screwing yourself out of quality of life). I also pretty regularly make drastic changes in my life which most people wouldn't do (i.e. just quit my job and up and move to a new state where I know nobody and start over again). As for relationships or family, I was never interested in either. I like the freedom of having sex with different people if I want (or none if I choose). Honestly I just like the rush of excitement I get at times when I put myself into situations where "anything can happen". So, for me life is a series of highs and lows because I can't handle much in the middle, it's too static. Even the lows, when I am deep in the depths of depression and feeling suicidal, is better than that because it's raw and it's honest and it's real. I guess I just need the extremes because otherwise life would be too boring.
  7. I don't believe in god, so everything to me is about cause and effect, luck, timing, etc. Some things are in my control, but many are not. I try and control what I can, and everything is pretty much left to random chance. My life also has been a struggle, sometimes it's really tiring. I sleep a lot.
  8. Oh and P.S. I am not religious either, I forgot about that. I don't need religion personally, it's not my thing.
  9. Hi, and welcome. I have MDD also, but i've never taken meds for it. What seems to help me alot is exercising every morning for an hour and a half before work and staying fit. It sucks getting up that early because I am not a morning person, but I feel physically good which helps my mood alot. I also get plenty of sleep and try to eat somewhat healthy. But, other than going to work and getting food I have become a hermit also. I don't really have any friends where I live so I don't have anyone to do things with. It really sucks. I hope something works for you, it sounds like you're trying to help yourself so I give you props.
  10. One thing I guess lots of people forgot about is that millions of people lost their health insurance when Obamacare went into effect. I know I was one of those people who's insurance (that I had for 6 years) was cancelled by Blue Cross because of ACA rules. I was then FORCED to either pay the ACA outrageous $550 per month premium for bottom of the barrel Obamacare insurance with a $5,000 deductible (both over 300% higher than my previous insurance) or pay a penalty on my taxes. That same $550 policy over three years was increased every year to over $800 per month vs. my $180 per month with Blue Cross. This is for a single healthy person. $800!!!! That's almost as high as a mortgage payment! I am glad some people got insurance out of Obamacare, but millions of people either lost their insurance or their insurance rates went so high because of Obamacare that they could no longer afford it and didn't qualify for a subsidy. Nobody likes to talk about those people, but there are millions of them and they need affordable healthcare and Obama ignored them.
  11. I've been in the corporate/business world for a long time and a couple of things i've found to be true over and over is that : 1.) working your butt off for someone else (corporation, individual, etc) doesn't guarantee anything. I learned that early on, so I pretty much don't expend any more energy or brain power than I have to for someone else. and 2.) personal relationships are extremely important in business and most of the time supersede work skills, talent, etc. so learning how to get people in positions of power to like you is one skill you must have. unfortunately sometimes this takes a bit of manipulation (which I am good at thankfully). i will read people when i first meet them, and then over time ask them questions about themselves, find out their likes/dislikes, needs, etc and then respond in ways that make them think I am interested in them as a person, care about their problems, offer to help them in some way if i can. I might actually hate the person or could care less about them in reality, but my one and only goal and objective is to get them to like me, so my personal feelings are not relevant. And I am good at doing that. this leads to promotions, preferential treatment on assignments, raises, etc. it might sound disingenuous, but that's how business works, i didn't write the rules I just play the game as best as I can. Survival skills are important in life, and business is no different. Learn to adapt and you may not only survive, but prosper. this philosophy has worked out very well for me over the years, time and time again.
  12. Since you like business/entrepreneurship/technology (so do I), i've been learning a lot about bitcoin although I haven't read any books I normally read articles are watch youtube videos. But there's one guy named Andreas Antonopoulos who has wrote a couple of books on the subject. I have invested some money in bitcoins so I follow it closely. I also exercise daily and that helps. Most things in life are boring to me but money helps so anything that can help me get more of it I am interested in.
  13. Family drama is the worst. My family ranks very high on the dysfunctional scale, in fact I am estranged from my own mother and I am not close with anyone else except for my father, who died 5 years ago. You live in the UK? If you want to start a new life you could always try America.
  14. I have MDD also. Some days are tough. Hang in there.
  15. I can relate I don't have anyone in the way of family, few friends and all I do is work. But, it hasn't all been bad. Life has it's peaks and valleys, and some of the valleys can be very long. You are only 22, I would give it some more time if I were you.
  16. Anyone who thinks that depression doesn't exist, doesn't know what they are talking about. Parents or otherwise. I have been dealing with depression for most of my life, which started when I was in high school. Going out with friends didn't really help me either, and it still doesn't. It might help to pinpoint why you are depressed if you can. Some people are depressed by a specific event that happened, others because of medical illness or psychological issue, others (like myself) are just generally nihilistic and it's kind of like a worldview. That unfortunately hasn't changed.
  17. I have anhedonia also so I can relate. I do get excited about things once in awhile but I tend to react to primal things, not hobbies or passions since I really have none. For example gambling, sex, being in a dangerous situation, or just general chaos. Those occasional spikes of adrenaline or the only things that get me through life sometimes. Maybe you're like me I don't know. If you are, then I would suggest taking risks. At least calculated risks. Shake your life up and move to a new state, or go somewhere by yourself with no plan and see what happens. That's what I do.
  18. I am a nihilist, so even if my life was perfect I would still have a certain amount of depression. I don't consider that biological though, I feel the way I feel because of reality. If I was to take meds for that, I suppose all that would do is make me not give a sh-t. But reality is still what it is. Having said that, when things are going well I am usually distracted from thinking about the ultimate absurdity of life so I am generally not depressed. But that's all just a diversion. I think the depth of depression each of us experiences is relative to our own personal circumstances, as well as our own biology. Some of us can be helped, some of us can't. I am the latter.
  19. I am not sure what skills you have but you google "telecommute jobs" or research companies that are telecommute friendly you can find out what jobs those companies have. Some may have you start off working in an office until they can trust you then they'll let you work from home. Even work from home jobs still require you to have some people interaction on the phone or you may have to go into an office from time to time.
  20. One person that does inspire me is Colonel Sanders (the guy who founded KFC, lol). His life was a nothing but a string of failures one after the other, until his 60's. That when he finally achieved success when he started KFC. The point is, he didn't give up and he didn't let age become a barrier. That helps me realize that no matter what your age is, good things can still happen in life.
  21. I just turned 52 so I am ahead of you. I also am single, never married, no kids, etc. I really don't even have any family since my father died a couple years ago. I have no friends where I live. My life is basically get up go to work, come home, eat sleep, repeat. So I am in pretty much the same boat. But....I do try and make the best of the cards that were dealt to me in life. And I try and take control of things that I can control. For example I exercise every day, I eat right, I don't drink or smoke. I do this to stay healthy so I least I don't feel physically bad on top of being depressed. It does help. I am a nihilist, so I pretty much think that there's no purpose to anything, nothing matters, we're pretty much all rats in a cage running on a treadmill until we suffer later in life and die. Fine. I accept that. Years I ago I decided that if that's the deal, then I am going to at least try and have fun in my life and make the best of it that I can. So I did. I still have depression, but at least my attitude helps keep it a bay sometimes. Not sure if any of this helps, but 40 is young so you have time to change things if you choose. You only get one life, why not make the best of it you can?
  22. Someone posted that video here yesterday which I watched. But it doesn't like a cult to me, it looks more like a philosophy that is based on Spinozism. How do you go through the four steps? I couldn't tell from the video.
  23. I watched the video, it looks interesting but I can't really tell if this is a physical experience (i.e. where you get a bunch of diodes attached to your head and something happens), or if it's just a sort of enlightenment regarding logic? I mean I consider myself an atheist, I am logical, etc. but I am not sure how that relates to what the video is talking about? I went to the website and will need to understand it more...
  24. I have been laid off before so I can relate. Fortunately I always keep a good cushion of cash in savings just for that reason, so that helped lessen my depression until I got another job. It's too bad that employment in general is such a cause for misery for so many people. People are depressed when they have a job they dislike or even hate (which is quite a few people), or they are depressed when they have no job at all. I think this situation has become worse over the last 20 years now that layoffs are so common and with little regard for the employees, and getting a new job has become fiercely competitive. You need a job to survive, but when you finally get one it's hard to stay motivated when you feel you're employer is constantly looking for any way to lay you off to cut costs and increase profits. If you don't like your work on top of all that, no wonder so many people have work-related anxiety and depression. The only advice I can give you is that the most important thing you can do is get back in the workforce. Even if it's part time, as you continue to look for something full time. You'll feel more productive which will help your mood. Once you get a job my other piece of advice is start saving as much money as you can, and avoid debt. If you get laid off again in the future (which unfortunately is the new normal, at least in America), you'll have a bit more control over your situation. The reality with my situation is that in the next couple of years I very well be laid off due to upgrading the technology where I work which will eliminate jobs. So, I just save save save, live below my means and when it happens i'll be prepared to deal with it and keep the depression from getting too out of hand.
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