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Lizzy

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About Lizzy

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    Member
  • Birthday 12/20/1953

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  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    Dogs/cats; gardening; walking; pen-pals World Wide; reading; folk and classical music; listening to BBC Radio 2; gardening and home make over programmes on TV

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  1. Hey saw one of your posts and just wanted to say I'm new here!

  2. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  3. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  4. Happy Birthday Lizzy!♥

  5. STOP! They are not your responsibility unless you can be totally dedicated to their care, schooling, day-to-day issues. This will mean that SS are involved in your life too. Feeling guilty will not help. Does your brother live near by, do you have a good relationship with him, how would your mental health be further affected if they came into your household, how would your son feel also would your wife be preapred to take on more children? Let them get settled, this isn't an easy situation for any of you. Once they have settled you may be allowed access to take them out and about for trips to give your brother and his new partner breathing space. They are HIS [we assume ]. Is there a Homestart organisation in his region? It might be worth while him asking for them to call in and give support. If your brother is unable to help then I expect fostering will be found. Often an objective person who is unemotionally involved is better in these instances as that is what they do, and most fosterers do their jobs well. Don't jump in too quickly!
  6. I agree with Trace. I would feel if I were in this situation that he was 'using' me, that he is trying to show this other girl that 'hey I can get someone else' but also pursuing her either as a form of control or because he isn't over her yet. "This is the girl he's told me that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with and if he hadn't met me, he probably would be with her ..... " and you stay? If I were you I would enlarge my social life, sit back and watch; he is not worth getting hurt over, life is too short! If he cared anything he would not have mentioned his previous situation! This is NOT OCD by the way, this is immaturity.
  7. 5 weeks is early days. Little steps. Off to find that hand cream!
  8. Welcome! Maybe a talk with a dietician about what amounts to eat and when according to your exercise regime? Then a meeting with a personal trainer to get an idea of safe limits of exercise? That way you have guide-lines to follow of which you are in control.
  9. WeLCOME! What support do you have with child rearing? Kids need warmth, food, boundaries, love ...... they don't look for perfection because they don't know what perfection is. When I owned a dog I wanted to 'do it right' and I'm sure parents often feel the same. Are you good at lists? Making a list of what needs to be done around the house, washing, ironing, school lists can put life into perspective; that half hour in the evening clears the head as you write it down.
  10. I think it is because people put so much effort into preparing food stuffs for others, where ever we go in the World ......... and seeing someone not eating brings out a sort of caring but to me I felt smothered: I'll eat when I'm hungry which I don't happen to be right now, even ifyou are sitting down to lunch 'time' .......... then it would be 'are you ill' or other quizzing questions "There's not a pick on you" ........... where *do* they get these expressions from in the Victorian times it wasn't polite to be that personal ......... I think society has gone to the other extrreme! I am never there with a quick retort either
  11. Little steps ;-). There are so many lovely oils, lotions and talcs on the market to try, focussing on one part of the body and then moving to another ....... my elbows need attention these days ........
  12. Is this because touching is taboo? An invasion of a persons' personal space and an intrustion into their life? I had to teach my in-laws to hug, it wasn't something that they did. I had to encourage my husband to hug without it being sexual. A hug can be comforting in the right circumstances. I hug people who are dear to me when we meet: someone once asked me 'How can you hug that man when his wife looks on?' Well his wife knows me well enough to realise that I am not a treat and knows me well enough to know that I care for them both. What this person didn't register was that I had hugged her too. But the person hadn't noticed! In the UK it is difficult to know where social lines are drawn due to the Child Protection Laws that abound. A gentle tap on the head of a child or an arm round the shoulders in comfort can be misconstrued and Court battles begin .........
  13. You see, you are not alone. Often because rituals and compulsions take so much time each day, the sufferer finds that they don't have time left for a social life. How about an idea: ? Explain to close friends - maybe a couple to begin with - that you are stressed right now and worried about germs. Would they mind using a hand-wash when visiting you at home? You know, the small tubes that can be bought in the pharmacy? I had to use one when my Dad was isolated in Hospital, I also carry one when walking the dogs or on picnics where I know I will not have access to fresh water. It dries very quickly and freshens up the hands. These can be used on door knobs, toilet seats, handles, key boards. I find that when I use one I feel more relaxed and my brain worries less about germs. No way am I a tidy person as the amount of clutter and dust around the home tells! But I do like to have fresh hands when I'm about to eat. Say to colleagues "Oh my, this cleaning habit of mine must drive you to distraction sometimes!" "Give me a nudge when I annoy you too much" ;-). You will be surprised at how many colleagues may well have the same problem to varying degrees! Honest! But we all hide our habits don't we! Bringing our habits into the open enables us. But it takes a lot of courage!
  14. Why? I remember counting paving slabs when walking and not stepping on the cracks or walking under ladders .... when do these and what causes these to become 'bad' habits I find my hand washing worsens when my stressors are up
  15. After you have 'paddled' how about using a skin oil/cream/conditioner to rub in - there should be a soothing feeling as you begin to care for the skin. I have used woolly gloves to stop me biting my nails in the past it's surprising how often my fingers go to my mouth during the day
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