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Everything posted by graycoyote

  1. Hi May it Be, How are YOU?? Haven't seen any new posts. Praying for you. Hoping for a quick decision in your favor. Waiting is soo hard. Especially if it is effecting you physically and the depression as well. I for years would get a letter wanting to know what I did, where I went, if my condition had improved???How soon I would be well? I have some brain damage from long term usage/exposure of Electrical Cleaners/Solvents. That was/ is like asking someone without a leg or arm has their condition improved? A person doesn't grow a new brain. I finally got fed up with answering those letters and asked them just that. Told them how it made me have to remember. It made me very depressed/sad. I told them it cruel, and asked if they sent the same letters to the paralyzed, people with out legs, arms, eyes, etc. Amazingly the letters stopped. It seems they try to dissect you and tear you apart, in hopes you'll give up. But don't give up, this is just temporary set back, you'll get thru it. I know words don't make it any easier, but it is comforting to have people praying for your situation. GOD BLESS, HE HEARS and CARES GrayCoyote GEORGE MUELLER/ a giant in the History of those who are Prayer Warriors Commented that the same wind that blows a vessel west can also blow one east, depending on how the sail is set. Out of that bit of information came these fines: One ship drives east and another drives west With the selfsame winds that blow 'Tis the set of the sails And not the gales Which tell us the way to go. Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate As we voyage along through life 'Tis the set of the soul That decides its goal And not the calm or strife. George Mueller Christ was saying to the disciples, "You can weather the winds of loneliness and adversity if you adjust your sails!" The promises He would give them would enable them to ride out the storm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sailing only calm waters doesn't make a good sailor, its going thru the rough seas and high winds that makes the sailor. unknown
  2. Hi, You have come to the right place. There are many here that will help you know-- you are not alone. Take the time to visit the site to introduce yourself site. Might want to read others comments and stories. WE CARE GOD BLESS GrayCoyote Ultimately, it's up to each of us to choose how we will live our lives, hold ourselves to high standards, and continually evaluate what's inside the image we see in the mirror. -- Eric Harvey
  3. HI Thanks Sheepwoman for the encouragement and caring to share. I do feel much better today, the depression seems to be easing off a bit, and I can begin to see the light of days without it soo much. The asthma has been much better as well. Sooo, I believe I am coming out of the darkness. The Depression is usually much worse in the afternoon and into the night, with hardly any of the morning, of which I am grateful. Thanks GOD BLESS graycoyote Ultimately, it's up to each of us to choose how we will live our lives, hold ourselves to high standards, and continually evaluate what's inside the image we see in the mirror. -- Eric Harvey
  4. Hi Trace Thanks so much for caring to respond. That is what a support group is for. There is not a support group in the rural area I live. So, I depend on this site a lot. I have severe chronic atypical depression, some brain damage as well brought on by long term exposure to several Electrical Cleaning Solvents. They are banned for use since the mid 80's. Plus, I also have asbestosis that created the allergy induced asthma I suffer with from time to time. Joy comes in the Morning though, today is a new day and am not feeling blue at all. Taking the meds. They seem to finally be working. I did report the Dr. and the CEO of the hospital called for more information. So maybe he will not do that to another person. It was very embarrassing to hear him read to all the staff my conditions naming patient in room number_. Making fun of each by naming them and then mispronouncing them, adding others-- to the delight, and enjoyment of the staff. Bad part was his voice carried very far and probably everyone in every room could hear them. He has never had depression or he would know better. Hopefully the hospital will take care of it. If he did it to me he has done it to others and it has to be stopped. I have found most people will not report things that should be. I guess I think about how it will hurt the next person. We must stand up and be counted even when it cost us something. Or it will get worse. Thanks GOD BLESS graycoyote 'I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.'
  5. Hi I find myself in need of support . NEED HELP----I am having the worst long term asthma attack I have ever had. I went to the Dr. last Wednesday and have been on heavy antibiotics. Wasn't getting any better went to the ER--received more meds. The DR. at the ER read my symptons and all my conditions aloud, misspronouncing, adding too,for the laughter of the staff. I could hear him from my room. HE was at a party. THe last thing he told me from the hall was at least I did not have herpes. I don't know why he said that. But he was able to receive more laughter from the staff. What a jerk, he's watched to much HOUSE. The asthma seems to be getting better, now runninng a fever. The Depression is now jumping on me worse as well. I am drifting away. I find myself welcoming and hoping I will die. I am not myself. The CBT and all the training is not working. HELP graycoyote
  6. Hi, I'll be praying for you as well. I had to go thru Fed. Regs. to get on disability . I can remember the wait to here from them whether I was turned down or not. I just praise the LORD, I was approved the first time. But the stress of not knowing is all consuming. It is especially bad on us with depression, anxiety along with other problems. If I was you I would certainly be at church tomorrow. Share at your church and have others praying for you as well as us. I First Thessalonians the verses tell us to count it all joy-----I have not reached that level yet. GOD BLESS graycoyote Victory at all cost. Victory in spite of all terror. Victory no matter how long and how hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival " WINSTON CHURCHILL MAY 13, 1940
  7. Hi Emsamers, I was on emsam for about 2 and a half years, the med was great for me. It started working like the next day, but the experts say you don't get full benefit for any drug for at least 4-6 weeks. I had a lot of problems with the patches falling off. I leave in the deep south, near the Okefenokee Swamp in Ga. and the Atlantic Ocean. We have very high humidity. I finally gave up on the patches and the unequal doses from day to day. I went to another MAOI called Marplan. Started it 2 months ago -----So far, so good. GOD BLESS graycoyote
  8. Hi CBT'rs I use the workbook " Ten Days to Self-Esteem" by Barns. It deals with far more than Self-Esteem but deals a lot with Depression, Anxiety and How we/I think. You can find some good deals at Amazon and Albris books. I got mine. at Amszon, for less than Half price because the cover had a permanent ink mark on it, otherwise it was new. There are some very inspiring videos for free at walkthetalk.com as well. Keep at it GOD BLESS graycoyote I saw a large picture in the Dr
  9. Hi, I agree with sheepwoman, it probably took many years to get to thinking the way we do, soooo , it's bound to take years to change the way we think. I thought at first I could just do the work book once and by seeing how erroneous I thought I would miraculously change overnight----I was wrong. I just keep working on it. And little by little I am improving. Just never give up Rod.........KEEP AT It. Especially control and watch what you read and listen too help also. Like I tried to say last time I wrote-----You'll begin to find things that trigger your depression once you get out of the BLACK CLOUD. Two quotes from Winston Churchill: If you are going thru hell,--keep going ----Winston Churchill Victory at all cost. Victory in spite of all terror. Victory no matter how long and how hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival " WINSTON CHURCHILL MAY 13, 1940 GOD BLESS graycoyote
  10. Hi Rod, I use one of the work books that Barns put out. I think it is great. I never realized how my thought processes had changed with the depression. But after reading and working the work book once( I'm going thru it again), negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations have been revealed to me. I never thought how CBT would really help, until a Dr. showed me. It will also help your meds work much better as you learn to think more correctly and you'll find somethings that will start you into a Depression episode. Have you ever read Pilgrim's Progress? (A best seller since the 1600's ). It is an allegory. There is a selection in it where Pilgrim is taken to Doubting Castle by the Giant Despair and placed in acell in the dungeon to be eaten later. After many days he realizes he's had the key around his neck the entire time. He gets out. I won't tell the rest, but have ever felt like you where being eaten alive by despair??? Great read and you can find a copy for less than 5 bucks. Good Luck God Bless graycoyote
  11. Hi Somehow I missed your post. It is good to know someone else is taking Marplan. I started on it Aug 29,08. But so far --so good. Hope you continue not being overwhelmed???? Never heard of someone being just whelmed, they are always overwhelmed. Just one of those weird things in life. thanks for writing
  12. HI I'm a Christian as well. What's bad is that in the Christian Army we tend to shoot the wounded. Take a little while and look up George Mueller, a great Christian Leader from years ago . I've got a great little poem from him. GEORGE MUELLER Commented that the same wind that blows a vessel west can also blow one east, depending on how the sail is set. Out of that bit of information came these fines: One ship drives east and another drives west With the selfsame winds that blow
  13. Hi HELP Is there any on MARPLAN? I must be the only person on the med. Thanks graycoyote
  14. Hi Emsamers: I went thru them sending me a new box one time only, even though I complained it did no good. One person would say they knew there was a problem and they where working on it. Then her supervisor would write me letting me know there wasn't a problem. My Dr. tried to get them to fix the problem, with no results and he is the Chair of the Pschy. Dept. at Emory University in Atlanta, Ga. Emory was one of the hospitals that did part of the testing prior to FDA approval. But no results. I went thru 2 and a half years of inconsistent doses, I even tried switching to 2 6mg patches a day. That helped some but this summer they just kept falling off. I started spiralling down into the depression pit, and decided enough was enough. Bristol Meyers doesn't even have a Help line on there web site any more. I gave up trying to get a consistent dose of the meds. I got off the emsam and went to another MAOI called Marplan. So far so good I take it by mouth, so my dose is consistent. Good Luck to anyone on Emsam GOD BLESS graycoyote
  15. Hi Petrucc, After being on the Emsam for 2 and a half years. I kept having problems with the patch not sticking, falling off , and I guess the unequal doses finally caught up with me and I was spiralling down deep into the depression pit. With no help from the makers of Emsam, and seeing another patch that feel off on the floor sometime during the day, I wanted off. Soooo I was hospitalized at Emory University in Atlanta, GA.,to get off Emsam and on the MAOI Marplan. I had a bad withdrawal from the emsam for about 1 day, but things got better after that. I was in 8 days. But Marplan seems to be working for me. Just haven't been able to find anyone to share experience with Marplan with. I've read some of your posts to keep up with you. How are you today? Great Quote I came by You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. -- Margaret Thatcher As we sail through life, don't avoid rough waters, sail on, because calm waters won't make a skillful sailor. -- Unknown Thanks for writing GOD BLESS graycoyote Why did you go off of EMSAM?
  16. HI I just started on Marplan. Just wondered if anyone else was on it? Thanks GOD BLESS Graycoyote
  17. Hi to all on disability: I am 52 now but at the age of 38 I found out I had chemical poisoning which resulted in chronic severe depression. I know very well how John1157 feels. I had worked after school and then at one job for 20 years with another personal business on the side. What I have found to be the very best thing to do-----is to write yourself out a daily schedule and then make yourself stick to it just like going to work. Schedule in your hobby give it a day, time,etc. Exercise give it a time slot, breaks, meal time, bed time etc. Sometimes just like in any life things happen, adjust. A sailing boat will go faster against the wind than with the wind. You may have to revamp your schedule at times, but it works. Also like others have said volunteer, there is a great need in any area. Get a good hobby. Mine is fishing, hunting and trapping. Find one that fits you. Just don't stop, those that do die quickly. One ship drives east and another drives west With the selfsame winds that blow 'Tis the set of the sails And not the gales Which tell us the way to go. Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate As we voyage along through life 'Tis the set of the soul That decides its goal And not the calm or strife. George Mueller God Bless Graycoyote
  18. Hi Thanks for writing, When I tried the Parnate it really worked great. I followed the diet completly >>No Cheating<<But out of the blue---one day the blood pressure just went catastrophic, after about 4 months of peace. Soo where I live, they had never seen someone on a MAOI, the ER doc only knew to give me enough morphine for the severe headache and blood thinners. Enough I could get to a Major city for treatment. Soo, I have High hopes for Marplan. But I know to watch the Blood Pressure for any sign or slight jump, before it sky rockets. Thanks GOD BLESS
  19. HI I am to start with Marplan this week. Leslie, how did you do on the Marplan and are you or anyone else on it? I haven't been able to find anyone currently on it. Sooo I really don't know if it is a good choice or not. Can anyone lend some HELP or Experience with Marplan???? I've been on Emsam for 2 and a half years ---but with it not sticking well and/or partly falling off >>>I'm not getting a consistent dose. I believe that and maybe building a tolerance to the drug: I am spiraling down. I'm willing to go in the Hospital if that will help, in getting me on something that will Help quicker Thanks GOD BLESS
  20. Hi Has anyone been on Marplan or is on Marplan. Please give your experience/ advice with it if you don't mind. I have been on Emsam patch for 2 and a half years. I am tired of it falling off or partly falling off ---No Consistent dose is causing me to crash into depression. Sooo my pdoc and I are thinking of Marplan. I had problems with High Blood with Parnate before. Maybe not with Marplan Thanks GOD BLESS
  21. Hi I've never heard of reversible MAO --so I don't know about them. I'll have to ask my Pdoc when I see him. He gave me a copy of a study that was done, last year I believe, at Harvard on the benefits of MAOI's on atypical depression and treatment resistant depression. You might want to ask your pdoc about a copy. You can go to the Harvard site and purchase it, if your doc doesn't have it. It mostly tells the benefits that patients have received--study group versus other groups, etc. etc. However, I live in rural South Ga. and the docs around here have told me thy don't use or want to use MAOI's because of all the restrictions on meds and foods and they just don't want the worry. But from what I hear they are used quite a bit in large cities. Infact the emergency room doc said in his 20 odd years he had never seen anyone on a MAOI. that was until me. But I still say they are a GODSEND ---I never had real relief until I started with a MAOI. I don't care about the food or drink restrictions. When you are living in a nightmare sea of depression--- any life raft is worth its price in gold. I saw this caption under a photo of a lighthouse projecting its' light into a storm---it read: A Man that knows not what harbor he seeks
  22. Hi, I've been on the MAOI patch called EMSAM for over 2 years. It has helped me very much . The lower dose patches don't have any diet restrictions, but I wouldn't trust that myself. I am on the largest patch 12mg. I have followed the diet completly and my sanity and peace are worth more than cheese or the other foods you must abstain from. I have had a lot of trouble with the patches falling off, I live in the deep south >>>where it is hot and very humid, I work outside a lot, so I believe that is why they fall off so much. I am considering going to another MAOI in pill form named MARPLAN. I'm suppose to visit the pdoc this month and we may make the change MAOI's are a GODSEND for those of us with atypical depression and those with treatment resistant depression. GODBLESS graycoyote Whats a reversible MAOI? I'll look into that. My pdoc never mentioned it so this could mean its not licenced in the UK :-(
  23. Hi Emsamers: I've been on the 12mg or 2/6mg patches a day for over 2 years now. I live in South Ga. USA, very rural, I follow the diet completely no fudgeing. I also believe you should where a med bracelet or neclace. The docs where I live are scared to death of anyone on a MAOI. Good Luck God BLESS I have been on the Emsam patch for about 9 weeks. I have not had the problem you describe with the patch falling off. I wear it on the top of my leg typically -- don't know if that's the key to it staying on. Good luck. I've been on 6 mg patch 6 wk with no results. My doc may change to 9 mg patch. He scares me w/warnings of drug-food inteactons {foods w/tyamine) & dangers w/gen'l anesthesia in an emergency......even suggest I wear a bracelet. What does your doc tell me? I hope others reading this will talk about their problems with foods.
  24. Hi,livingwithBPD I am being taken off xanax slowly. I have taken seroquel 25mg at bed for 2 years ,too help sleep along with 2-0.5mg klonopin and 0.25 xanax, but I'm only getting 4-5 hrs sleep a night because I also take 12mg Emsam patch. So the pdoc is uping me slowly on seroquel I'm at 75mg a night now after one week. He is wanting me to go to 150 mg with a 25 mg during the day. I sleep much better now. Very groggy when I wake in the morning and first half of the day. Does the grogginess where off???? And also how fast did you go up when you first started takeing seroquel? HELP God BLESS
  25. Hi I've been on the patch ( I take 2 of the 6mg patches) for over 2 years. Its changed my life, from not coping with Dp to being able to cope. Please exercise along with it, that will increase your positive reaction, 200%. The diet is worth the relief. GOD BLESS
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