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Everything posted by Donaldopato

  1. I understand completely. I could blow up over the smallest things. Still could without my medication. Hope rest of your day went better.
  2. So far so good, but it is early. Still waffling about taking the abilify my psychiatrist prescribed since I am not convinced it is worth the negative side effects.
  3. Wellbutrin XL 450mg, Buspar 20 mg 2 X day, Trazadone at night, Metformin for diabetes.
  4. Hi all, been awhile since I chimed in. Feeling anxious, frustrated and mad at myself. Mad because I drank a lot last night for the first time in a long time and I must have passed out as I woke up at 11:30 thinking it must be 3-4AM. Weighed myself this AM and I was heavier than I have been in ages. Both of those frustrate me. Anxiety is always here. My psychiatrist prescribed Abilify in small dose but the side effects concern me. Weight gain... worked too hard to shed 50 lbs in last 2 years. Elevated blood sugar.. same thing, worked too hard to get it under control. Don't want the movement disorder that is possible either. So trying to decide to take it or not. Going to be one of those days I just know it.
  5. I know this thread has been around for a while but it has been helpful. So thanks all for sharing your experiences with Abilify. My psychiatrist just prescribed it (small dose, 2mg) for an add-on treatment for major depression. He discussed all the side effects with me and frankly they worried me. The weight gain, increased blood sugar and the movement disorders were the worst. l have lost 50 lbs in the last year and so finally have diabetes under control. I think I would be more depressed and anxious if both of those increased. My self-esteem has skyrocketed due to all the complements on my looks. I feel better lighter and not having diabetic episodes. I argued but told him I would try it. My pills arrived today so I decided to check DF for any comments. I think I am not going to take them. The side effects are not worth the boost in mood and mood stability. Going to call Monday and say "no thanks". Luckily I with insurance I didn't pay a fortune for it.
  6. I knew a man who recently paid the ultimate price for his depression. Wealthy, loved by many, beautiful homes here and in California, a fundraiser he hosted was voted "Best Fundraiser" by a local magazine, been sober from alcohol for about a year.. etc. Seemed to have it all. Including a deep depression which he kept hidden, a deep depression that took him way too early. Depression knows no status, class, gender, sexual orientation....
  7. Saturday was a waste. I manage a condo building and had to supervise some idiots moving in a new owner. They were determined to complain, make tons of noise and damage everything they could. Then the board president was being a pain... she hated the new owner. I get so sick of being in the middle of all this crap. But it is a job and has some benefits. Sunday was better. At least I did not feel like running away or standing in the middle of the place and screaming. Anxiety is getting harder to control and I get angry easily. See the psychiatrist in a couple weeks for a "tune up". Hugs to all!
  8. Stressed, angry, taken advantage of and taken for granted as usual. I am sick of it. That is how I am feeling right now.
  9. Angry, anxious, sad... frustrated.. got drunk, feel numb. what I wanted I guess.
  10. Tired already. Went to bed late, up to early. Enjoying the rain and thunder though.
  11. Thinking of you Scienceguy. Keep positive, keep sending out applications and keep busy. Don't give up!
  12. Sadly true. I have a long time friend who corresponds with me via email. In many of them he sounds down and a bit angry. I wrote back and said I was concerned and shared more of my depression and addiction battles with him. Hope he takes it in the spirit it was meant, I have known him since we were kids and just want to see that he has a chance to be happy. Of course I worry now he is angry with me. Despite having friends around, I feel lonely and sad a lot lately.
  13. Lonely.. I have friends and such, but they have their own lives and don't always have time for me. Then, if someone wants to do something I immediately get anxious and do not want to do anything. Sometimes I do and it is ok. Often I lie and say I have other things to do. So I hate to be alone... then scared/anxious of having people around.
  14. Been a rough week. My dog died suddenly last Thursday, she had a collapsed trachea. It sent me into a funk. Still in one. Just not much going right lately. Right now? Feeling overwhelmed.
  15. Hi all. Have not posted in a while. Depression is in full swing again. Caught in the middle of a complex and totally insane work battle. So far I am the only one who is losing. I am a property manager and live where I work so I can't escape. Been betrayed and threatened. When your own mental health is tenuous how do you deal with people who are even more sick? How do I feel right now? Want to crawl in a hole.
  16. For the first time since last fall, I have accepted a CD review assignment from the "web-zine" to which I contribute. Last one was a real chore, just did not have it in me. I was afraid if I didn't take it, I would never be asked again. Sadly, when I was not on medication and drunk most of the time, I could write essays, reviews, etc. daily and not think a thing of it. Don't know how good they were, but good enough for some people to notice my blog (something else I have not contributed to in ages) and ask me to freelance for them. So we will see.
  17. Rooting for you my friend! Hope it turns out as you want. If not, well.. you have all of us for support!
  18. I am a sex addict myself, you are not alone. I know exactly how you feel although my particulars are different it stems from the same thing. Counseling is a good idea and seek out support groups they are out there. PM me if you want more specific information Don
  19. Really depressed and unable to focus. Mind all over the place, especially where it should not be. Looked to see if I took my meds today. Seems I did... not sure what is going on.
  20. Had a bout of the lonelies (if that is a word) over the past few days. Meds keep me pretty flat so I don't get all worked up... but just even more flat feeling I guess. Anxiety is better thankfully, increased buspar helped and probably increased the flat feeling. Oh well, better than a sobbing, angry maniac. maybe.
  21. Each day I remind myself: I am not where I need to be, not where I am going to be, but sure not where I used to be. As you see I even use it for my signature. Depression thrives on shame and guilt, but being positive and living one day at a time washes away the fertile soil it needs to grow.
  22. I get depressed because I am lonely, have no significant other in my life, friends drifting away, etc. But frequently when someone asks me to do something with them, my first reaction is to get angry, think "leave me alone" and scheme up some excuse that I am "busy." The times I do go out,I often end up having a good time. It is a nightmare if I have to go to an event where I do no not know anyone. I can speak before a huge audience (done it at a meeting of about 1,500 people) sing before a crowd (25,000 or so) but socialize or talk or socialize in a group of people? Not on your life. Then I am told I am antisocial and rude. That starts the whole anger cycle again... Yep, I can relate.
  23. Interesting I have never had any sexual side effects from Wellbutrin; I take 450mg and have for a while. Now some of the others I tried Zoloft and Celexa especially, gave me problems similar to what Dolphin and womanofthelight described.
  24. Sadness and anxiety are high. My dog who is a special needs dog, she is epileptic, is having problems walking due to the neurological damage. Sad to see her struggle. I am disgusted and sad beyond words of the violence in the world as a whole. I am in a 12 step program and my sponsor has given me a difficult assignment that is taking a lot of time. I have to prepare for what should be a fun once in a lifetime experience tomorrow, vocal ensemble asked me to join them in singing the National Anthem at the KC Royals game on Monday. But I am so overwhelmed with everything else I am not "into" it. Glad I see my psychiatrist tomorrow AM. Hugs and best wishes to all. I am glad to have this safe place to vent and glad you are all here. Please be good to yourself and know that you are valued from here! DC
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