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Virelai

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About Virelai

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    Newbie

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  • Gender
    Female
  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. Happy birthday!

    :)

  3. I'm tired of pretending to be a guy, that's what I'm tired of. Truth is I can't even do it anymore. I may not go around wearing dresses and feminine clothes, but I do not hide my personality at all anymore. I guess I've gone to the insane stage where I don't care what people think anymore... Luckily I have a supportive girlfriend and a few other friends now. and I hide nothing from them. ^_^ But I am still very much tired of physically being a guy. It's just not right at all.
  4. Oh my gosh... I totally know that feeling, it's not even the gender they are, it's just that they're so far "above" me, and they really don't like me. (They've let it be known.) I absolutely can not stand liking the person I like. I really wish I didn't. I feel terribly guilty about it. There's several reasons why I feel so bad about it. I've know them since like 10th grade, which was about 4 years ago, and I've liked them all along. It makes it so much painful that my feelings have not actually gone away like they usually do, they've actually grown. I can't stop thinking about them, and I know they will never care about me at all.
  5. I guess I'll just copy what I put in the general introductions topic, because it describes my problems quite well. Just telling you my name isn't really a simple thing for me. I have gender issues, and I'm a MTF, I hate it a whole lot. I like to be called Sami (short for Samantha, of course.) or Victoria instead of my birth name! I usually go by Sami, though, because if I just say I'm Sami people don't get too suspicious! I've known about this for several years, but it's got really bad within the last few years. In fact it's got even worse within the last few months. I'm 18 right now (and will be 19 real soon.) I don't know a single person outside of the internet that accepts me. I've told my mom several times, but she tells me it's only a phase. I don't think she understands that I've known this for like 11 or more years. (that was when I became conscious of it anyways, I don't really remember much before that time.) As if the issue isn't enough by itself, I have to go through it alone with no help. It has made me really depressed and hopeless... I don't know if anyone here knows anything about this kind of thing, but I just had to say it somewhere. ...Sorry.
  6. Choose the items that best describe you over the last 7 days. Falling Asleep: I take more than 60 minutes to fall asleep, more than half the time. Sleep During the Night: I do not wake up at night. Waking Up Too Early: I awaken at least one hour before I need to, and can't go back to sleep. Sleeping Too Much: I sleep no longer than 7-8 hours/night, without napping during the day. Feeling Sad: I feel sad nearly all of the time. Decreased Appetite: I eat somewhat less often or lesser amounts of food than usual. Increased Appetite: There is no change from my usual appetite. Decreased Weight (Within the Last Two Weeks): I have not had a change in my weight. Increased Weight (Within the Last Two Weeks): I feel as if I've had a slight weight gain. Concentration/Decision-Making: Most of the time, I struggle to focus my attention or to make decisions. View of Myself: I think almost constantly about major and minor defects in myself. Thoughts of Death or Suicide: I feel that life is empty or wonder if it's worth living. General Interest: I notice that I am less interested in people or activities. Energy Level: I really cannot carry out most of my usual daily activities because I just don't have the energy. Feeling Slowed Down: I find that my thinking is slowed down or my voice sounds dull or flat. Feeling Restless: At times, I am unable to stay seated and need to pace around.
  7. Hi... I've been here for quite a few months, but I've never got the courage to introduce myself. Just telling you my name isn't really a simple thing for me. I have gender issues, and I'm a MTF, I hate it a whole lot. I like to be called Sami (short for Samantha, of course.) or Victoria instead of my birth name! I usually go by Sami, though, because if I just say I'm Sami people don't get too suspicious! I've known about this for several years, but it's got really bad within the last few years. In fact it's got even worse within the last few months. I'm 18 right now (and will be 19 real soon.) I don't know a single person outside of the internet that accepts me. I've told my mom several times, but she tells me it's only a phase. I don't think she understands that I've known this for like 11 or more years. (that was when I became conscious of it anyways, I don't really remember much before that time.) As if the issue isn't enough by itself, I have to go through it alone with no help. It has made me really depressed and hopeless... I don't know if anyone here knows anything about this kind of thing, but I just had to say it somewhere. ...Sorry. I also have unrequited love, but I don't think it's that big of an issue, probably something that'll pass soon enough. It's just a lot of pain while it lasts.
  8. My depression seems to have got worst within the last few years. I'm never happy, and I'm always depressing. It's only been a few years, though. I guess that's something good to think about. I was kind of a happy person once!
  9. I'm transgendered, for sure. I also believe I'm bisexual. I've had trouble identifying my sexuality, for a while. Sometimes I thought I was straight, others homosexual, and now I've just come to the conclusion that I like both!
  10. Most people think I'm sleepy. Of course, I always am.. but usually it's actually my depression showing. Oh well.
  11. I knew there was something different about me in about the 4th grade. Probably later then most...
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