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About Lorax

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    Washington State

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  1. Just finished the first season of Orphan Black. It's pretty good so far.
  2. Lorax

    Should I stay or should I go?

    I would rather do something and have it not work out than to never have tried it at all. Later in life I don't want to have that "what if" regret. Also, you have thought about the pros and cons of this decision, and that is always important, but also listen to yourself on what 'feels' right. On some of the most important decisions I've had to make I was like you, logically thinking everything through, but it wasn't until I felt it, that I knew what I was going to do. And as soon as that moment came it was like a huge burden was lifted and I felt this calmness wash over me. Now, of course it didn't always work out as I had hoped, but then it goes back to what I wrote in the first paragraph. And lastly, it's always hard leaving friends/co-workers, but if they are truly your friends then they will be supportive and happy for you. I hope this made some sense, it's hard for me to try and write down what I am thinking.
  3. Lorax

    What’s a good reason to live?

    I'm not in one of my dark cycles, but even in my "normal" state I don't really have any reasons. I feel like I just move on from one day to the next like a zombie.
  4. Just finished watching the TV series Humans and liked it very much. I always have this feeling of dread and disappointment when I finish a series I really like because it's so hard for me to find something I like enough to lose myself in so I can forget about everything else.
  5. Lorax

    *Favorite Quotes* 8-]]

    You forgot the rest of it: Take your time in a hurry
  6. Lorax


    @Purpleplum, I was going to post something very similar but you summed up everything I am feeling pretty well. Just a harsh reminder how different I am from everyone else in the "real world", since I seem to be living in a world of my own.
  7. Lorax

    The little things

    Driving home tonight my mind was wandering to all sorts of different things, that at first seemed random and disconnected. Then I realized it was the things I missed the most about not having someone who I feel close with anymore. Just little things like getting a call or text just because they wanted to say hi. Climbing into bed next to her, trying not to wake her up but secretly hoping she will. Deciding at two in the morning to hop in the car and drive to the beach. It could be countless things that to most people seem as just common or little things. But one of the most important things I have learned from this depression is that the little things aren't so little.
  8. A movie called Ink. I only watch it when I am at my darkest... and been heading in that direction :(
  9. Lorax

    What Are You Listening To? #3

    Hurt - Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails cover) Not the type of music I normally listen to but can't get it out of my head.
  10. Lorax

    Does anybody else feel lonely?

    I am the same.... Fake it enough at work to get by then spend almost every other minute alone. For the most part I am fine with this, part of me enjoys the solitude. But there are times, like I have been going through lately, where I feel so alone and lonely. Feeling this need just to have some kind of physical contact with someone. To be able to share things with, the kind of things that most people have and just take for granted.
  11. Lorax

    Back to reality

    Ip44 and BeyondWeary, thank you for your replies. Sometimes it's nice to be heard and know that there is someone out there who understands.
  12. Lorax

    Back to reality

    So I traveled out of town for a job for the past couple weeks. Idealic setting on the Oregon coast with my house a five minute walk to the beach. The work was good, kept a normal schedule which I can't remember the last time I did that. Ate meals and watched games with people, and basically lived a normal life for that short period of time. On my way home I had this overwhelming sense of dread and loneliness. I knew the normality was over. Back to my life of faking it at work, getting home at 3am and spending the hours in solitude until the sun comes up and I am finally able to sleep, just so I can do it all over again the next day. I hate this pain but I know it will eventually pass and my numbness to it all will return. I will have this opportunity again, and as much as I liked it, I'm not sure if it's worth the price of everything I am going through now....
  13. Lorax

    What Are You Reading?

    I remember thinking the exact same thing when I tried to get through that series when they first came out. That's still my favorite genre but never made it back to give them another try.
  14. Hello, Wolf123 and welcome to DF. Not everyone reads all the categories here or someone may read it and not have an answer for you, so don't be discouraged if you don't get a reply right away. You could try the 'depression and anxiety medications' for your med questions, may have better luck there. There are also some threads in the 'DF water cooler' and 'the forum cafe' that helps us get to know each other a bit and maybe take our minds away from things for a while. Hope you find what you are looking for here.
  15. Lorax

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    This is exactly how I feel. Everyone else seems so 'normal' and though I try to fit in for appearances I know I don't.