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Cent

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About Cent

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  1. Listening to my stepdad talk about the trans bathroom issue makes me irrationally angry. Like to the point where I have to distance myself from him before I explode. I have a history with gender dysphoria and knowing what it feels like I just can’t stand transphobia. How do i deal with hearing things that make me mad?
  2. Thanks for your insights. That’s the reason I’m so hesitant to embrace that part of me, including that the time I tried a few years ago blew up in my face. I just can’t help but be skeptical of myself.
  3. I go to a therapist and less often a psychiatrist. They agree that it’s probably just a function of my depression
  4. I’ve posted about this elsewhere on the forums but I figured why not, right? For the past 3 years, so since the end of 8th grade, I’ve been dealing with on and off gender discontentment. I don’t want to call it dysphoria but I think that’s what it is. These feelings only ever come around when I’m depressed. It’s like one week I can be totally confident being a man and the next I hate everything about it. It makes me upset how distant a future where I can be relieved of my gendered duties is when I’m depressed. It’s been seeping more and more into my right-minded subconscious I think, or I’m just more depressed lately, because I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Idk. What do you think?
  5. Remember, depression causes distancing, not the other way around. I would recommend talking to a professional about how you’re feeling.
  6. Depression has definitely come between some of my relationships. I broke up with my first girlfriend because my depressive thoughts kept telling me it was a bad idea and I was afraid to be hurt. Luckily I think I made the right decision, but that can’t be said for everyone. I’ve also known of a few depressed men who find it difficult to stay committed to one girl. Either way, I’m very sorry that this happened to you and I hope something good can come from this loss.
  7. I’m in school right now. Because I don’t take good enough care of my teeth I need to get a root canal. Because of this my mood has been in the toilet since Thursday. My brother and fathers have always had dental problems and I sort of prized myself on my dental health, undeservedly so. Exestentialism has been a newly prominent part of my depression now. I can’t help but focus on my lack of a purpose. I know that there are plenty of reasons for me to live, be it my family or my friends or my work but none of it seems enough. Freshmen make me sad. It’s hard to watch them start as just kids and turn into cynical pieces of garbage like me. I sort of watched it happen to a girl that was on my bus, but she’s not a piece of garbage I guess. I don’t know. Luckily I have a therapist appointment today but sometimes it’s hard to say what’s really bothering me even though I completely trust her and am usually comfortable talking. I just can’t help but be angry at myself. I can’t take care of my teeth, I’m not attractive enough, I don’t try hard enough in school, I can’t get a date, and then I get mad at the world for making me like this. Ive recovered many times before and I’ll do it again but it still sucks
  8. I already take two doses of bupropion per day and I know it works for me. We’re just trying to find a supplementary to take me from 70% ok to over 90%. I hope i start to feel the effects soon so I can judge whether or not I should keep taking this stuff.
  9. I’m in school right now and I’ve got that familiar feeling of a ton of bricks weighing down my spirit. I’m switching from selexa to Zoloft while continuing to take bupropion. I feel like absolute garbage. Usually when I take a new med it works for the first weekish that I take it and then gets iffy but this has had the least amount of time in between. I can’t help but think about how much life sucks and my old issues with gender and self images are creeping back up. This sucks.
  10. You could talk to him about it. I bet he’d have some interesting thoughts on the matter. Also a fresh opinion isn’t never a bad thing.
  11. I can’t reccomend therapy and the possibility of medications enough. Also seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis. Believe me, if I never went to therapy I probably wouldn’t have had my first kiss until I was 40.
  12. Cent

    Virginity

    Awe thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.
  13. Cent

    Virginity

    I’m not saying my depression would change, but when I get depressed I tend to overthink things a lot, second guess myself until I’m not sure whether or not I’m a bad person. Like, now that I’ve broken up with my first girlfriend my depressive episodes are largely about her and a friend that I lost a while ago.
  14. Cent

    Virginity

    Thanks for the feedback, except for some of you who I don’t know what you’re talking about lol. I’m at a crossroads between wanting to lose my virginity for obvious reasons and not wanting to because i don’t know how my depression will handle it + I’m uber cautious about doing things I’ll regret.
  15. Sex does not necessarily mean love. It’s possible to be in an intimate relationship without intercourse.
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