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Cent

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About Cent

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  1. Cent

    Switching meds

    I already take two doses of bupropion per day and I know it works for me. We’re just trying to find a supplementary to take me from 70% ok to over 90%. I hope i start to feel the effects soon so I can judge whether or not I should keep taking this stuff.
  2. Cent

    Switching meds

    I’m in school right now and I’ve got that familiar feeling of a ton of bricks weighing down my spirit. I’m switching from selexa to Zoloft while continuing to take bupropion. I feel like absolute garbage. Usually when I take a new med it works for the first weekish that I take it and then gets iffy but this has had the least amount of time in between. I can’t help but think about how much life sucks and my old issues with gender and self images are creeping back up. This sucks.
  3. Cent

    A second opinion?

    You could talk to him about it. I bet he’d have some interesting thoughts on the matter. Also a fresh opinion isn’t never a bad thing.
  4. Cent

    I Hate Myself

    I can’t reccomend therapy and the possibility of medications enough. Also seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis. Believe me, if I never went to therapy I probably wouldn’t have had my first kiss until I was 40.
  5. Cent

    Virginity

    Awe thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.
  6. Cent

    Virginity

    I’m not saying my depression would change, but when I get depressed I tend to overthink things a lot, second guess myself until I’m not sure whether or not I’m a bad person. Like, now that I’ve broken up with my first girlfriend my depressive episodes are largely about her and a friend that I lost a while ago.
  7. Cent

    Virginity

    Thanks for the feedback, except for some of you who I don’t know what you’re talking about lol. I’m at a crossroads between wanting to lose my virginity for obvious reasons and not wanting to because i don’t know how my depression will handle it + I’m uber cautious about doing things I’ll regret.
  8. Cent

    Fear of having **** making me frantic

    Sex does not necessarily mean love. It’s possible to be in an intimate relationship without intercourse.
  9. Cent

    Virginity

    I’m 16 so if this topic will make you uncomfortable then don’t continue reading please. I’m a virgin and I recently got my first girlfriend about a month and a half ago. My depression combined with an overall bad feeling about the relationship caused me to end things early. She is 18 and has had multiple sex partners. Is it wrong that it made me uncomfortable that she wasn’t a virgin? I feel immense pressure to lose my virginity sometimes because of my depression and just general society garbage. I feel like when I lose my virginity I want to lose it with someone else for some reason. I can’t really explain my feelings. Anyways she wanted to be more intimate than I could handle so I wound up breaking things off. We are still friends but I told her that we needed to stop having long text conversations because we both have depression and would end up just making each other sad. I needed some alone time I guess. It’s been really sad lately as I’ve also lost a good friend of mine because her boyfriend doesn’t let her talk to other guys. It’s been a generally bad time lol. It’s the little things that get me through the days, you know? Like passing conversations or when people say hi to me in the hallway. I’m currently transitioning from Selexa to Zoloft which could be a reason why I’m all whacked out but I was in a rough place before the change too. I just hope that this new medication works so I can feel not as garbage lol. But yeah tell me whether or not my feelings about virginity are valid. I also get kinda sad when I hear about other people losing their virginity as young as 15 in my school because I feel like people are being ‘corrupted’ or whatever. Like, it sounds ridiculous but you’ve gotta admit there’s some merit. Also the amount of kids that do drugs at such a young age is upsetting. I’m just glad I dodged that bullet. Peace out I’m gonna go to bed and check replies tomorrow kylepd
  10. Cent

    New chapter

    I’m happy for you! Having a plan is always good. It looks like things are looking up for you, so good luck with your new life.
  11. Thanks for your reply. I definitely don’t think I’m actually transgender, I think I just have an idealized vision of what being a woman is. I actually had another appointment today and I talked about this again with my therapist and she told me to look for the cons of being a woman. That might help me get past my tunnel-visioned view of womanhood.
  12. For me a change in looks can help me. Right now I’m joining a gym so I can lose weight and look good so I can feel better about myself. Get new clothes, try new makeup etc. you might be surprised at how much it could help.
  13. Cent

    Help

    This is a revision of an earlier post My therapist and I have deduced that my gender issues are caused by my depression. This is because that my gender issues always only come after I’ve become depressed. In recent times my depression has been unpredictable as it comes one day and leaves the next, or even only stays for a few hours. Right now I’m outside a movie my family dragged me to because my depression was being taunted by one of the protagonists attractive self. I had to leave the theater. Honestly I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I wish I was born a girl for some reason. I know that if I were to transition it could never be the same as if I was born a girl. What really scares me is that this isn’t a constant thing. When I’m not depressed and my moods are fine I have no gripes whatsoever with my gender.  I have a theory that my gender discontentment comes from a place of feeling unwanted, and I want to get the attention attractive women get. I don’t know. It makes me want to cease living sometimes. I just want whatever encouraging words or advice you can offer me. I need help. this is me from a few hours after I wrote what was above. I’m in bed crying just thinking about all the stuff I’d be able to do if I was a girl. I want to go shopping and make cute outfits, I want to wear cute shoes, I want long thick hair. I want to be beautiful, but I can’t. I feel trapped like there’s no hope inside my body. I don’t know if I should act on these feelings since I think there caused by depression but I don’t know anymore. Help me please
  14. My therapist and I have deduced that my gender issues are caused by my depression. This is because that my gender issues always only come after I’ve become depressed. In recent times my depression has been unpredictable as it comes one day and leaves the next, or even only stays for a few hours. Right now I’m outside a movie my family dragged me to because my depression was being taunted by one of the protagonists attractive self. I had to leave the theater. Honestly I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I wish I was born a girl for some reason. I know that if I were to transition it could never be the same as if I was born a girl. What really scares me is that this isn’t a constant thing. When I’m not depressed and my moods are fine I have no gripes whatsoever with my gender. I have a theory that my gender discontentment comes from a place of feeling unwanted, and I want to get the attention attractive women get. I don’t know. It makes me want to cease living sometimes. I just want whatever encouraging words or advice you can offer me. I need help.
  15. So, around two years ago i started to get feelings that i wasnt content with my gender. I told my mom hastily and i tried to make the change as fast as possible. I was encouraged by someone who i had a toxic, reliant relationship with. Around a year ago i came to the conclusion that i wasnt trans. Now i still dont think im trans neccesarily, but i have been stricken with feelings that i want to look like the opposite gender, talk like them, be in relationships like them etc (Im a male btw). Something about the beauty of women makes me jealous, i wish i looked like them sometimes. I dont know if this comes from a place of wanting attention, or because i have body issues anyways or what. I think that i would be genuinely happier as the opposite sex. Im bisexual if that changes anything. The point of this post besides your general opinions is how im supposed to tell my mom after this, combined with my chronic depression, has caused us as a family so much strife. I feel so bad because i know she doesnt want to be as worried as she was back then. She would be purely supportive, shes not homophobic or anything like that, but i just feel bad burdening her with this. The weirdest thing about all this is that my feelings about gender are almost always connected to my phases of depression. I cant tell what comes first, my feelings about gender or my depression. I can see it either way, i see other people and i want to be like them leading to deppresive feelings or i am depressed which leads to my feelings about gender. When im not depressed i usually dont think about my gender at all. This could just be me ignoring my problem, i have no idea. I need a 2nd or 3rd opinion, thanks all -kylepd
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