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starbucksjunkee

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Everything posted by starbucksjunkee

  1. I do not understand how you guys are sending your co gifts. How do you get their address? I used to know the name of the city where Josh lives but I have no idea what his address is. I don’t want to know!
  2. I am really frustrated. I have been googling Josh Radnor but not looking at the content. I keep reading about shows having poor reunions or revivals. What if How I Met Your Mother does that? What am I going to do? I have kept myself from listening to his music and watching interviews for almost a month but it has been the hardest thing. I hated Gilmore Girls A Year In The Life. 3 Spoilers alert: The only part of it that I liked was Lorelai and Luke's wedding. I felt they left too many things hanging and Rory became a terrible person. She would be an awful mother in the state she is in now...she has a lot of growing up to do before she can healthily raise her child. Sorry back to my normal post, I am pretty healthy right now mentally just some occasional anxiety. I am supposed to be getting some money coming and I'm afraid it will never come. I don't know what I am going to do. I guess I'll have to start looking for a job again. I wish I had a purpose. I am working on my book and I want to publish it someday but I probably don't have a chance without self publishing. I saw an article and read just a short part of it. Apparently Josh was inspired by a poem called Wait and he made a song based on it and he can now play the guitar some. Man I wish I could see that. He lost two people he cared about to suicide and that made me want him more...just reading about that. If there was ever an article where he was talking and encouraging people with mental illness I would be so sad because sometimes I think that is my life mission. I found out that the two lead guys from Supernatural volunteered once with a mental health hotline. I guess one of them (Jared Padalecki (sp?)) has a history of depression and has made his own t-shirts with different sayings on them. When I was sick in 2017, I wanted to sue the writers of How I Met Your Mother for emotional distress and I wanted the cast to all give a ton of money to different non profits that serve the mentally ill like DBSA, NAMI, etc. I know how crazy that was now but I remember so many of the delusions I had when I was psychotic. My dreams about Josh were at first really good...he was helping me we were making up songs together to reduce stigma but the more sleep I got the worse the dreams got...he hurt me and did terrible things...but he's never known me and probably never will and after he messed me up so bad I don't want to know him. But when I am lonely I find myself wondering what if...I haven't dated a good guy in a really long time. I am trying to my hardest to forget him. Maybe I should go a week without the internet because that's what causes most of my problems...
  3. I am having a hard time today. I find myself missing him. How can you miss someone you've never met and never were with? I really want to listen to the song I got rid of but I'm fighting the urge. I am going to a movie this afternoon and getting my hair cut. I will do anything I can to distract myself from googling him or looking at videos on youtube. I have a file with quotes from his movie, Liberal Arts. I'm reading them now because that way I won't give in and re sign up for his newsletter. I liked the movie the first two times I saw it but the third it triggered me and I can never watch it again. “Grace is neither time nor place dependent. All we need is the right soundtrack,” Jesse (Josh Radnor, Liberal Arts) “Don’t be a genius that dies young, be one that dies old,” Jesse (Josh Radnor, Liberal Arts) “If my heart is gooey you’re at least partially responsible for that,” Jesse (Josh Radnor, Liberal Arts) “Some days are like a gift and some days s-u-c-k but all of that is okay,” Jesse (Josh Radnor, Liberal Arts)
  4. I would be happy to read anything you have to vent about...not sure how much i can help you but I will try. Feel free to send me private messages on here. Take Care of yourself.
  5. I have pretty much decided that I am never getting married unless I find someone like my best friend but younger and single. It took me forever to find him though and I'm not going to settle. I used to wish he would set me up with his son but his son is younger and I prefer older men. I like to dance at weddings but there have been times that I've been in a bad place mentally and not able to go. The night before my cousin's wedding I got no sleep at all. I was a bridesmaid twice, did a reading for my brother's wedding, and I was a maid of honor. I caught the boquet at my brother's wedding and my brother and I are close but he's busy and has kids. My sister got divorced and I lost touch with everyone else. Not by choice but just because our lives went in different directions. I don't know what I'm going to do next time I get invited to a wedding. I am kinda hoping I'll be able to go but I sure have been to a lot of them. Last time I was in a wedding I went on a diet and I looked really good...now I've gained so much weight I dunno. It's funny when my cousin got married I saw a cute guy and dragged him on the dance floor with me. I don't think he liked it much! I'm tired of being alone but I'd rather be single my whole life than emotionally or physically abused. I just wish I had someone to talk to and travel with besides my mother. My best friend is a married guy who has kids and he's old enough to be my dad. My brother is my other best friend. I have a few other married guy friends. I used to like this guy for a very long time and I don't know what he is...he could be gay for all I know. But I don't want him anymore.
  6. I can stop looking at his videos and I can give up his song and his mailing list and twitterfeed, but why can't I give up googling him? Why do I want to look at the guy who triggered me and I feel haunted by? Sigh... Starbucksjunkee
  7. TheeForgotten, I have Autism and Pure OCD also like you but my primary diagnosis is Bipolar I disorder. I also have some degree of social anxiety and driving anxiety. I have so many issues...my mom says I shouldn't think about them so much. I should focus on my strengths. I would be happy to discuss it more with you if you want but I know you were addressing musiclover so maybe I should let you two work it out. I am just bored today and it's very hard not to google Josh. Starbucksjunkee
  8. I definitely can understand where you are coming from. But for me it’s more like I am being haunted by Josh’s ghost. Everywhere I go I can see his face. I have gone a few weeks without looking at him but it has been really tough. I hope that your co isn’t so famous that you hear his songs all the time. I gave up listening to Josh’s song that I liked but he’s not famous for his singing. He is famous for his acting. I don’t know much about his personal life and I don’t want to know. What made me fall for him was his newsletter and his music that he made with his friend. I don’t know what I will do if I ever hear that song again.
  9. I don't think I'll ever have another dog quite like her but I will love again. My mom always says that when you grieve someone you love and you find someone new you replace the sadness with joy. Actually the first guy I broke his heart, not the other way around. I've met too many losers since and they were younger. I think that an older guy is better for me but I don't know since my experience is so limited. I was really happy with the one that broke my heart who was 14 years older for three months. I felt safe with him and I liked talking to him and I trusted him and he respected me and my parents. He had a college degree. Those are the qualities that are the bare minimum. If a guy doesn't meet them I will kick him to the curb. Some women like bad guys and I liked two bad guys but I am never putting myself through that again. They weren't bad to me but they had so many issues and a lot of anger. But I don't really like talking about it anymore. I just try to keep track of it so I don't make the same mistake again. I met a guy online who I really liked for a while but then he said terrible things and he kept trying to get me to talk to him again...I made the mistake of giving him my real name. I really think he had mental issues because he was really awful. He said I sounded like a prisoner waiting for my sentence to finish when I told him I wanted to get a good job and move out before dating again. He is the reason I left facebook. I ended up getting two of the best jobs I’ve ever had in the two years after I eliminated him from my life. I was really blessed because the moment I dropped him all kinds of doors opened and all kinds of good stuff happened after I got my dog too. I am trying to focus on the present and right now the present is stressful because my parents and I are moving and I am waiting for some money that I really need to help my parents pay living expenses. I just have to try to distract myself and keep busy because I just read it could take 4-12 weeks to get the money. Sigh... I don't think I'll ever have another dog quite like her but I will love again. My mom always says that when you grieve someone you love and you find someone new you replace the sadness with joy. Actually the first guy I broke his heart, not the other way around. I've met too many losers since and they were younger. I think that an older guy is better for me but I don't know since my experience is so limited. I was really happy with the one that broke my heart who was 14 years older for three months. I felt safe with him and I liked talking to him and I trusted him and he respected me and my parents. He had a college degree. Those are the qualities that are the bare minimum. If a guy doesn't meet them I will kick him to the curb. Some women like bad guys and I liked two bad guys but I am never putting myself through that again. They weren't bad to me but they had so many issues and a lot of anger. But I don't really like talking about it anymore. I just try to keep track of it so I don't make the same mistake again. I met a guy online who I really liked for a while but then he said terrible things and he kept trying to get me to talk to him again...I made the mistake of giving him my real name. I really think he had mental issues because he was really awful. He said I sounded like a prisoner waiting for my sentence to finish when I told him I wanted to get a good job and move out before dating again. He is the reason I left facebook. I ended up getting the best job I’ve ever had two years later. I was really blessed because the moment I dropped him all kinds of doors opened and all kinds of good stuff happened after I got my dog too. I am trying to focus on the present and right now the present is stressful because my parents and I are moving and I am waiting for some money that I really need to help my parents pay living expenses. I just have to try to distract myself and keep busy and pray a lot because I just read it could take 4-12 weeks to get the money. Sigh...
  10. Opal, Heartbreak sucks. I've been there too. I have only had one healthy relationship my whole life if you don't count my first boyfriend when I was 15. I broke his heart because he would have married me and I just didn't feel the same. He was 19. I'm surprised now looking back that my parents let me date a much older guy. He and I broke up and about 10 or so years later he found me on facebook. We tried to be friends but I decided I wanted to keep him in my past. I was too afraid that he'd want to start things up again. He said he did not but he broke up with this girl just a few months after we were talking again. I never want to get on facebook again because I've had too many bad experiences on there. When I was 24, I fell in love with someone 14 years older than me. I would have married him but it never would have worked. I learned he was married a few years later and the last time I saw him was at a wedding with his pregnant bride. He never spoke to me...not once! (Very mature, huh? ;)) I didn't want kids the natural way because I didn't want to give up my meds for 9 months and we were opposites politically. I think that's why we broke up. He just stopped calling me and emailing me never told me why. It hurt worse than anything for four years. My feelings for Josh hurt me more for longer period of time (my CO). But when I got my dog she became the love of my life. And now I am 37 and I really don't think I ever want to get married. I have so many fears of being abused emotionally or physically and I like my freedom. It's hard for me to trust men and some make me extremely anxious. I have some good friends that are men but they're like big brother types. I was walking on the trail one day and I heard a guy screaming and cussing complaining about some dumb bleepty bleep girl dog (I don't know if this place is censored but you know what I mean.) and it scared me to death. I just want a companion...someone to travel with, someone I can trust who I can talk to, someone who sees past my disabilities and loves me for me. I don't know if I'll ever have that but I've settled before and got very damaged emotionally as a result. Have you ever thought about getting a pet dog or cat to take care of? They give you unconditional love. Starbucksjunkee
  11. Sleep, Please send me a private message and I will happily answer your questions. starbucksjunkee
  12. I can relate to what you're saying no sleep. I have struggled for years to try to fit in and feel accepted. I have aspergers and I didn't know that until I was 28. Wish I would have known in junior high and high school because I had very few friends and it was a hard road. As an adult, I have found one or two groups in my life that I could relate to but they didn't become lifelong friends. I sometimes feel like I impose myself on the friends I do have when I am mentally ill. I am very blessed because I have some people that get it and a family that tries really hard. I don't know if you have a diagnosis like me but if you live with bipolar or depression like me, DBSA is the best resource I know. (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance). I was originally diagnosed in 2002 and I have been hospitalized more than once. DBSA support groups helped me to stop denying my bipolar. But I struggle every day with low self esteem, anxiety, and insecurity. My mom said that before I decide to get into another relationship with a man, I should make sure I am comfortable in my own skin. I guess she means I need to learn to love myself more and accept my differences. This is not easy for anyone but especially for people like me. You can send me a private message on here if you need extra support. Please don't be mad at me for telling you my story but you just sound really depressed. I wish I could be of more help but I'm not in the best place right now either. I loved Toastmasters. It was part of my life for almost nine years and that's the only other place besides dbsa that I ever really felt like I belonged but noone knew about my bipolar and other mh issues until the last three years I was in the club. I've always wanted to join another club but I know I was just lucky with the last one that the people were so understanding. One of the members wife had Bipolar. Take good care of yourself and I hope things look up soon. If the Panteon group doesn't feel right, don't do it. You gotta trust your instincts. If you second guess it and analyze it it probably means you shouldn't do it. That's my two cents. starbucksjunkee
  13. Hopeless, I can totally relate to your post. I had those feelings about Josh too. I am so glad that he doesn't have chat forums for fans to talk to him. It would be so hard to resist. Before I got hospitalized last May, I was convinced that he was the guy for me. He had saved my life in 1999. (never happened...never knew him then....long story...but I had very vivid dreams when I was psychotic in 2016 and 2017). If I hadn't been hospitalized in 2017 and he hadn't been part of my illness in 2014 too then I might still be convinced that he was the guy for me the love of my life. But now I know that my feelings for him are not healthy so I don't post to here as often as I did. But I miss watching him and the song I erased...I really hope I never hear it on the radio. I might cry. I still google him but don't look at videos or twitter. It has been so hard because he has an email associated with his mailing list and I could easily find it again and send him a letter. But if I told him everything that happened he would be really freaked out. And who knows how he would respond. Besides, he probably has paid someone to read his emails and rarely responds to any fan mail. When I was sick, I really wanted to sue the show creators for emotional distress and I wanted all of the cast members to give money to charitable organizations that help people with severe mental illness/es. But of course I can't do that. When I was sick I posted on twitter my initials plus his initials equals forever Jeremiah 29:11. I had it up there for a few hours but then I found out I could delete it so I deleted it. Don't know if he ever saw it. Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite Bible verse. Thank you for sharing.
  14. SV14, Please don't give up. I have been there. I can relate to the headaches all day and the tired can't sleep and the overweightness. I am Bipolar so I have struggled with sleep since my diagnosis and ever since I moved to CA I have been at least 20 pounds overweight and I don't know why. I guess the older women get, the harder it is to lose weight. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. My obsession with my co is now competing with thoughts of my dog. I just put her to sleep yesterday and I'm so much sadder than I thought. I just have to hold on to the mental health I have now...I can't lose sleep over my dog or my co anymore. My dog would want me to move on and so would my co. Hang in there. Best Wishes.
  15. I gave into temptation and googled Josh yesterday. I won't look at videos but it's hard not to read the interviews and look at pictures sometimes. I haven't rebought the song but it's hard. I found out that I can play a sample of it on Alexa. I didn't do it I told it to stop before it played but it was really tempting. Josh's role as Ted Mosby was really unpopular. Some people think that was the worst television character ever. He says he wants people to move on from that role but that was the role that made him famous so I don't know why he thinks people are just going to forget about it. Sometimes I wish I could write him and tell him how crazy he made me but it would just really freak him out. I used to want to sue the people who wrote the show for inflicting emotional distress with the last episodes. I used to want the whole cast to give money to organizations who help the mentally ill. I have started a draft of a story about a college guy with Schizophrenia who has feelings for a rabbi. I think Josh would have been a really good rabbi. He is very kind and compassionate. That's how I fell for him his words about kindness. He wrote an article for LA Times. I think it's called Kind over Matter. The first time I read that and his newsletter I fell for him hard. Now I wish I never would have known he existed because I got so messed up because of one of his movies.
  16. Today I did something very difficult. I deleted his song that I loved Hello My Beloved by Radnor and Lee off of my itunes and threw away the cds that I had made with it on them. It was so hard. Hopefully last time I will hear it will be today. I love that song so much. I was able to successfully not look at pictures of him or google him for lent except when I accidentally saw him on television for an interview for a talk show. Other than that, I avoided him. I miss him so much and it's so stupid because I shouldn't care so much about someone who made me so mentally ill. It's like we knew each other but we never did. I found a few songs that have helped me get over him. Maybe they'll help you with your COs. 1.) I Hope You're Happy by Blue October, 2.) What About Us Pink, 3.) Stronger Kelly Clarkson, 4.) Over You Daughtry, and 5.) You Can Go Your Own Way Fleetwood Mac. Take care everyone and if you want to send me a message on here of support or encouragement I'd really appreciate it.
  17. Honey, I got your message in my email. It's so personal but I will just say this. I am not in love with Josh...I'm in love with the way he writes and sings. Everyone I have talked to is like you don't know the real him. What if you met him and were really disappointed? My parents don't approve of my feelings for him so I will never be able to speak to him in front of them. Only way I'll ever meet him is if I publish my book and he reads it. If I was alone and I saw him, I might have to say something but I don't think I would have the courage. When I think about him now I feel physically and mentally unstable. I know I'm not his type and he would break my heart. But just so many things we have in common, if he's really who he says he is. My therapist says I am in love with the kindness qualities of him but he might be boring, arrogant, etc. I guess she's right but I haven't been in a healthy good relationship for a very long time and I'm lonely. It's easier to fantasize about someone than to actually do something. I don't know if I'll ever get married because I'm really vunerable. I have more than one mental illness that I live with. I would rather be single for the rest of my life than get my heart ripped out or get beat up by some jerk. I have had so many guys mess me up mentally that I don't find it easy to talk to men at all. My brother is my best friend and I have other guy friends but they're all married and kinda like big brother types. I liked this one guy for a really long time. I've known him since I was 12 but I finally got over him a few years ago. I had a dream one that Josh said he liked me but he (the other guy) was my soul mate. My feelings for Josh get worse when I get sick. I used to have really nice dreams about him but now I have nightmares so I don't really want to meet him. I just love the way he writes and his positive attitude and kindness to others and compassion and intelligence and he says he gave up drinking and he is from Ohio (I'm originally from WV). He is anti pornography and so am I. What has helped me lately is thinking of my friend who is his age when I think of him. I try to thought stop and think of my friend or occupy myself with something new. I am trying to become the person I think he is. I try new things and exercise and volunteer to distract myself. Today I tried a yoga class for the first time and I listened to his song before I went in. He has a new show coming in March but I'll never watch it because I had nightmares the last time I saw him in something on t.v.
  18. I have been having a hard time following all of the posts but I thank everyone that has shared their stories. So glad to not be alone in this. Josh Radnor's new show starts in March and it's going to be so hard not to watch it. It's called Rise and it's about an English teacher who takes over the drama department at a high school. Seems like the perfect fit for him. I'm sure he'll do great. I don't watch cable television at all anymore. I just watch things on netflix and Amazon prime and occasionally will get a red box video or go to the theater when I'm sure I will like something and it won't trigger bad memories. I have discovered this perfect song that's really popular right now. Even though I didn't have a relationship with Josh ever, in my mind I have had one. Look up the song I Hope You're Happy By Blue October on Youtube. Maybe it will be some comfort to you. It is to me. That song, Josh's song with Ben Lee called Beloved, and You Can Go Your Own Way By Fleetwood Mac are very therapeutic for me as long as I listen to them when I'm at the gym so I don't think too much. Maybe this post will help someone. I don't know. I had to say something because I noticed someone said they've never been in a serious relationship...their relationships were always one sided. I think that I'm the same way. The last good decent guy with potential for long term than I dated was almost 14 years ago. The only thing that keeps me hoping for a good guy some day is the fact that my cousin and her brother both met their true loves at 60. Yeah, I would like to find someone before then, obviously but better late than never. And now it's looking like never. I did have three guys that asked me out in the last few years but they were so wrong for me in every way possible. I couldn't let myself settle like I did for the 2 guys in 2009 and 2011 that both ended up making me nuts. I guess that's why I got so crazy about Josh because on paper he seems perfect. But I'm sure there are things about him I would not like and he could be paying someone to write his so called mailing list. One guy took me over ten years to get over...and I realized he was the worst obsession I ever had. He and I are still friends but we almost never talk anymore. I took his phone number out of my phone. It's very hard not to tell him everything that happened. But if I did I'm sure he would freak out. You never know. He was always the one that got away. But he could be gay for all I know. Well, you guys can respond if you want. I can't figure out how to get response messages on here but I'll do my best to follow as best I can.
  19. I am thinking about my CO too much again. It has taken everything in me not to google him and look at videos and pictures of him online. I caved and bought a song off his first album Radnor and Lee. The song is called Hello Beloved. Try to listen to as a single young woman or man and not cry. It's so beautiful. If it was legal I'd post all of the lyrics here. The first part of it makes me feel like he's singing to me. "I don't know you but I know you well...you were there when both of us fell." In May of this year my feelings for him were so bad I became psychotic. I was convinced that we met when I was in the middle of my first breakdown and he saved my life. It never happened. I didn't know he even existed then and it was the same year he became a professional actor. I have a small picture from that time in my scrapbook. Sometimes when I am really missing him I open the scrapbook page and kiss him. I really hope and pray that he never knows I exist and that if I ever publish my fiction book about my atypical college experience he doesn't read it. I am going to write a prequel if this one succeeds and talk about my childhood and middle and high school. I don't know if I can ever write about more recent stuff without changing a lot of the details because I went through some really tough times from 2007-2009 and again from 2014-2016. I want to write about my feelings for him and other things that happened but I just can't bring myself to use his real name. I still care about him even though he was probably the second worst trigger ever. I want to meet someone with the qualities I see in him kindness, compassion, intelligence, confidence, and politically the same as me. He also has said he has given up drinking. I don't know if that's true but I drink very little and very low alcohol because technically I'm not supposed to drink at all. I try to be the person that I think he is...and try to be a good role model for young people. Not an easy task. I don't want a guy who is a big drinker. Socially is okay but getting drunk on a regular basis is not because sometimes drinking makes people violent. He also said he is anti pornography which I am too. Have been all my life. So, he and I have a lot of the same values and it's just so sad because I want someone like who he says he is. But he could be totally different than he says he is. He could be boring, narcassistic, and think only of himself and not others. He wrote the article for LA times "Kindness Matters" but he could have someone else writing his newsletter for him. If he is such a nice smart, rich, successful, handsome guy...why would he be 43 and still single? I am a good woman and I'm smart and I know how to cook. I can be fun and interesting and I don't have a job but I am very active in my church and my community and I do lots of volunteer work and I love to travel. I don't know if I'll ever find the right one but I am not working and I have mental health issues and I'm not ready to settle down. The only time I was the guy found out about my issues and that I might not be able to have children and he dumped me. It's going to be a long time before I am ready to work and date again. The only thing that has helped me lately in trying to get over him is making the realization that I do have a very good friend who is his age...granted I haven't seen the person in a really long time but now when I think of him I try to replace him with the friend. It kinda helps...a little. But I can only listen to the song once per week and I have to be active. If I'm just sitting around I cry when I hear it. I even started to cry a little yesterday at the gym. But fortunately not so much as to make a scene.
  20. I had an okay weekend except my sister is driving me nuts again. I think of great poems/songs when I am walking my dog and have no way to right them down. They're inspired by my CO but I went to church on Sunday and there was a really cute guy in church. I know nothing about him except his name and he had an american flag pin. I don't know if he's just proud to be an American or pro Trump. If he's Pro Trump, I am definitely am not interested. Sorry to get political here but that's one of the reasons Josh is so appealing to me. We have the same values politically. Josh says he gave up drinking too and I rarely drink if I drink it's very low alcohol like 3.2%. Josh is also anti-porn like me. Only thing bad about Josh is he's allergic to dogs. If I had to choose between my dog and him, I'd pick my dog! I have watched a few short clips from HIMYM on youtube and lots of Ted and Tracy videos. At first Josh just inspired me to be a better person but things got out of control after that. I started thinking about him way too much. I still think about him for a least a half an hour every day. I guess until the right guy comes along, I prefer to live in my fantasy mode. It's safer that way...I haven't watched his new show yet and I won't let myself but giving up you tube videos is going to be really hard. Simple Song by the Shins is one of my favorite songs now and I Would Walk 500 Miles by the Proclaimers has always been one of my favorites. I don't think I could give them up but unfortunately I think of the show whenever I hear them. It's not fair how something we can enjoy so much can become a trigger.
  21. Sleep tips: Disclaimer: These don't always work for me but sometimes do. Lavender and camomile or Peach and camomile or Vanilla roobios tea Lavender or another flavor scented bubble bath an hour before bed time Adult coloring books Easy Crossword puzzle or another kind of puzzle book Read something that you enjoy but won't wanna finish before you go to bed Play solitaire with real cards Turn off all electronics unless listening to music helps Try mindfulness exercises Try rain rain app if you have an iPad or iPhone Read favorite part of Bible or your religions book Pray Talk too your doc about adding more medications to your regime or ask about something over the counter. Good luck! Hope this helps!
  22. Well, someone else on this forum said they are in love with their CO so I can tell it is differing in degrees for everyone. I am very glad I found this forum because I don't have a support group. My friends with issues like mine or similar to them live very far away and none of them talk about issues with celebrities because they are all married. One of them told me that she liked a younger man once...was attracted to him...but she'd never leave her husband for him. I have thought about writing to Josh a gazillion times but if he wrote back anything even remotely positive, it would just make me want him even more. When I was young I wrote to my biggest celebrity crushes. I was 14 or 15 at the time and one wrote back an obvious letter just for fans but he signed two pictures of himself one that I sent to him and another different one. I thought that if I sold them on ebay I might get good money for them since they don't have my name on them, just his. I remember being really happy it was like I won the lottery. I unsubscribed to Josh's mailing list and I stopped looking at him on twitter and I won't watch the show that made him famous or any of his movies or his show on pbs or his new show even though it sounds awesome. I just wish that I could stop looking at the you tube clips from the show and his talks and listening to the music. I have looked at every single youtube video he has put out except for the ones that are more than an hour long. But the song that played at the end of the 8th season gives me so much hope for the future I can't stop listening to it. I have dreams that he breaks my heart because I tell him that I want him to stop acting and just focus on music with Ben and he says no.
  23. Thanks. I guess I just assumed everyone would know who he is...it's really his words that made me fall for him on his mailing list and the kindness matters article. But my therapist says that someone else could be writing it for him and he is only putting out public what he wants people to know. He could be lying about everything. I don't think that's true but words have such an impact on me...because I want to be a professional writer some day. Thank you for commenting. I was beginning to think that everyone thought I was a freak or something because no one commented.
  24. I am afraid that I shared too much by saying the guy's real name. I guess I'll just have to trust you guys not to put anything on his twitter page. I have only told a few people and I am ashamed, I guess. It's too late for me to take down my post. Sigh...hope everyone is okay...with all the fires and hurricanes and hurricane threats, it's a lot to more worry about than my stupid obsession with Josh Radnor. Starbucksjunkee
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