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mnml

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About mnml

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  1. Wow... This some offensive stuff... Def not the right forum for me. Get rid of the dog? Would you get rid of your child? That's truly one of the most offensive things I've ever heard. And you need to grow a f$cking. heart. I am out of here.
  2. Because they don't care. That's the simple answer. I don't even want to go into the not so simple answer
  3. I've lost so much that I thought I wouldn't make it past New Years. My wife and I split up. My parents and family pretty much abandoned me (I am 40). My grandparents raised me, but 3 out of 4 of them have passed away. 4th one is too old to give any type of emotional support. Friends are there, but friends can't do much. I am OK with all those things and I understand that life goes on, but there is one other problem that's making me sink lower than ever. I've never been so depressed. I've never had suicidal thoughts, but the very thought of not being alive brings relief ( I am NOT suicidal at all ) I owe about $50K in Credit Card debt and $10K in Student Loan debt. I have a very good job and make good money. I will make more money next year. I will find evening and weekend job soon. But I live in LA and cost of living here in insane. Pus I have a car lease for a relatively expensive car. I don't want to ruin my credit so I am paying all my bills. Not a SINGLE late payment for anything. I would work 24/7 to pay off the debt, but I have a dog who is basically my child. I can't leave him alone all day. I know it's not the end of the world and if I was 25 or 30 years old, I would be laughing right now. But at 40, it will take me about 5 years to pay off this debt ( or longer ). That means for the next 5 years I can't spend a penny on anything besides living expenses. No dating, no clothes, no going out, no eating out, no movies, no birthday parties, no nothing. It's overwhelming and is sucking the life out of me. I don't know how to cope. I don't know what to do. If it was just the finances, that would be hard, but OK. If it would be just the divorce, that would be painful, but I would manage. If it was just my parents and family betraying me, it would be horrible, but I would go on. But it's everything at the same time. I don't know how to go on =(
  4. I love my soon to be ex more than anything. She moved here from another country 6 years ago and we have been married for almost 6 years. Last 2 years have been tough. She went totally cold, but we stayed together. I wanted to fix our problems, but she never really gave it a chance. Relationships are two way streets and I can't fix everything on my own.. Last month she went back home to visit family and after she came back she said that wants us to separate. I know it's not someone else, she is just upset that our relationship didn't turn out the way she was hoping it would. I don't see it as bad as she does. She look at the last 6 years as some horrible time for her and I see the last 6 years as good and bad. Like any marriage, but she doesn't see it that way. And I am dying. I can't handle this. I am really not doing well. I don't typically suffer from depression, but I've had episodes before. Last few years have been tough personally and professionally and I am broken. I don't want to **** myself or anything, but I am in so much pain that I just don't know what to do. Does this ever go away? I am not going to sit in my car and cry for the rest of my life, although I've doing it for a few days. I am going away this long weekend with my dog and will try to keep myself occupied with work, gym, etc. I am just looking for wise words from someone who may be has gone through this. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust another woman. My family is not very or at all supportive and I am just losing it. I am at the point where I want to just accept and move on, but I am in physical pain that's chickening me. I honestly don't know if I'll survive this. And if I do, what comes out on the other side? I am 39, still relatively young, but I don't see myself ever meeting someone and trusting women. I don't know what to do, I am in so much pain =(( I am not suicidal or anything, I love life too much, but I wish I was dead.
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