Yes this hurts like hell!! WTH!
I don't even know where or how to start, this post has me crying. God knows I know heartbreak, but, what you wrote was extraordinary. I've never been speechless, my friend, and I don't know what to say other then to say I'm here, we're here. Please just DM if you need to, just tell us how we can be there--let us know. Let me know. And I am so sorry this happened.