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Everything posted by HeatherG

  1. I was scared I thought DF was gone--pg wouldn't load. I mean really scared.
  2. Wow that's a really big decision. My two cents is, the job gets you up and about? You said if you retire you'll be a "bum"? How about having a one on one with your manager--and explain that the last manager may have painted a picture of you that's not accurate. Ask her to give you a chance to show that picture isn't accurate. Your decision is really, really hard. And I get that stress, and I'm so sorry your job is so stressful. Or, maybe find that one hobby or thing you enjoy and retire and have that life. Life, I'm not sure what that is... But I so hope the decision (and afterwards) doesn't cause you more stress.
  3. Being honest with your primary doctor keeps you safe. You don't have to say he got you addicted--but maybe say "I feel I'm taking too many meds, and I want to get off some." My doctor tapered it for me. It was safe, and in no time I was off it. The withdrawls I'm still dealing with--and that "X" was mega hard on me when it left my system. But it was one less addictive med that I was on.
  4. Happy Holidays, and Have a Wonderful New Year's 🙂

  5. I have a sister who tells me to pray my "depression" away or that I'm doing this or that on purpose. My brother says depression doesn't exist, it's just weak people who need to "do something about it." Fix it, move on. People like this, family, are toxic. They'll make depression worse, they can be behind your depression and problems. My sister was a terrorizing bully, and my brother was physically abuse. I shrank, it was the strongest will survive in my house and I didn't. I ran at 19, from the South way up to the North into the hands of an abusive alcoholic aunt. Then, now, I'm back near this family, but our mom is gone and I'm dealing with them again. I have a new therapist, whew, so tired of going to treatment--but I can't stop. Also, learned a new word, "boundaries." 2020, it'll be interesting to say the least.
  6. I think that bravado I spilled out saying I'll battle in 2020 to get my life on track--well that's gone.  Took 1 day for me to realize, or wonder if it's all left up to fate?  Guess I'll find out.  😒

  7. I'm sorry to post this, and then I'll log off and listen to some music that might wake up my soul. But is it possible to feel dead but you're still breathing? Like the walking dead? I haven't watched that show.
  8. Can't buy peaceful and quiet neighborhood. But I'll count my blessings, it's not too bad. But yep, a new home in a super quiet neighborhood would be the gift of a lifetime.
  9. I don't think it's rude to ask a woman to be tested. I think it's in the way that it's ask. "Her Name, I think we should both be safe, make sure everything is in the clear--let's both be tested to make sure.." Yes in the same clinic at the same time. If she reacts or is offended, that would be a sign something's off (I think). In my humble opinion. But here's the thing-- I would hope that enough therapy has been had, that you take it really slow and that s*x isn't in the picture for a while. Get to know you first, then her, her group of friends, she meets your mom, be best friends, all that stuff first. In my humble opinion, that long old-fashioned road. It's in this phase that you'll learn about her, her choices... Maybe your worries will be eased in the getting to know her. Wait, if you're asking her to be tested before the kiss? I still think the right girl for you shouldn't mind? But this is from my point of view.
  10. I did my asthma treatment. I'm not happy with that being my accomplishment for the morning.
  11. Honesty and compassion-- there is more peace (for us, for others) on this road. Even if we can't balance it out, or we fail on both-- just trying seems to bring a more calmness, inner peace, knowing you tried. Atra thank you for this post.
  12. I love your post about a much better day, thank you @Floor2017
  13. Yes, life feels like hell right now. But I'm going to say, even if the year 2020 will try to bury me--I'm going to battle. We don't deserve all of this s**t! We deserve to be happy, feel loved, feel secure and safe. I'll go down fighting. This intolerable life isn't fair!! We're feeling these unspeakable pains and horrors, yet we're filled with love--love for others. We're kind. Whatever the bleep has its hands pressing on us, gotta do something to get that pressure off us... I don't have the answers. I'm without my mom now. Things have gotten worst. All I got is pain, and a need to fight and get this darkness off me. I need to see that one happy day.
  14. Yes, give the meds time..

    And I cannot thank you enough for being so kind..:hugs:

  15. It's been a year. 

    Hope everyone is OK.

  16. Might be a couple months before I log back in, just wanted to say thank you to everyone.  Your love is appreciated.

  17. Thank you everybody for your kind words and warm wishes, and my comment regarding God/Jesus calling me is -- faith has taken a beating.  Just would like to know/feel that God loves me and He cares, ya know? 

    Everyone take care.

  18. My mom passed.  Gonna be off site for awhile.  If God/Jesus pick up when you call, can you ask Them to call me.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Hertz


      Sorry for your loss 😥

    3. salparadise6132


      So Sorry Heather!  So so sorry!  My deepest sympathies! 

    4. JD4010



      Oh damn. I'm very sorry. My deepest, heart-felt condolences. Message me any time if you need to.


  19. Hertz, I hope you're alright?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. AnxietyGirl74


      Hi. I hope things are going a little better for you. I’m glad your anxiety has dropped. I hope you have found the right meds and gotten them adjusted. I just had to get an adjustment last weekend. I am sorry I haven’t been on earlier.

    3. Hertz


      Hello AnxietyGirl, thanks for the support. I have found a med combo and dosage that's helpful so I think the adjustment phase is over. It doesn't solve everything but at least I can function. I hope your latest adjustment will help.

    4. AnxietyGirl74


      Thank you. I think I need my lithium level upped because I feel the mania side of me coming out more than usual. I've called my psychiatrist's office and spoken with his receptionist about it but unfortunately I have to count on her to speak with him about it. 

      My OCD is a little worse with the Prozac being halted but he had said that the serotonin would be too high with the busier and prozac to with the prozac at 80 mg so I guess it's a give and take. In all my anxiety is much better. It's a good feeling. 

      I just hope that she gets with him about the lithium soon because the manic symptoms are really hard to fight and like I found some stuff I got today that I don't even remember ordering. Very frustrating.


  20. Take my nephew to see Avengers End Game
  21. drop a couple curse words. right there. that's how i feel right now.
  22. I'm thrilled to hear it's worked for you. Love hearing someone's having a good day or normal day. I was wondering how long were you on prozac before you began feeling better? Take care.
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