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Posts posted by HeatherG

  1. On 3/22/2020 at 6:29 PM, sober4life said:

    I'm taking my exercise back inside for this stay at home order in Ohio.  I'm considered a throwaway in this world.  I was lucky the last time I talked to the sheriff.  If he catches me on a bad mental health day a misdemeanor ticket will be the least of my worries.  I have to face the reality of the situation and the fact I have schizophrenia and I have to consider the world I live in.  I have to protect myself first.

    You're not a throwaway, and yes I know you mean society treats and considers you that.  But, for me, others on here--like if I don't hear from you I worry and I get sad.  You're so kind, thoughtful, I, we need people like YOU.  Yes, please protect yourself, please stay safe.  You matter to me, to us here on DF.

  2. On 3/7/2020 at 11:36 PM, Lindsay said:

    @Epictetus and @sober4life,

    I am worried as well.

    I have plane tickets for a week up North in Pa. to visit my youngest daughter and two grandsons, plus my Son and son-in-law and

    the thought of going right at Easter has me worried.  :dontgetit:  This is a ticket from last year that I cancelled.  SW airlines saves tickets for you if you cancel them, up to a year.

    otherwise I could never have afforded to go this year!  Now I do not want to go. Ugh.  Besides, I really do not want to leave my poodles!  LOL.

    I can understand Epi's concerns as I am older than he is.:cry:

    Take it easy everyone and if you are not my age, or a baby...do not worry!!!!



    Yes there are reasons to be worried.  I currently have the flu, and just going out to another doctor worries me.  My main doctors are all spread out to other hospitals so I'm dealing with docs who--I'm not feeling cared for, ya know?  People aren't taking this virus seriously, which means it's going to spread, the numbers are going to be ridiculous after awhile. 

    Just everybody please be safe, cautious, and Epictetus good for you for storing masks due to your past flu's.  That's smart!  Yes when I can I'm going to stores super early too.  Thanks for naming that mask which can be reusable..

    Let's all hang in there.  

  3. On 1/8/2019 at 2:29 PM, Paris43 said:

    I am just wondering if any of you have a witty or funny quote you would like to share---or any other quotes you can think of that are good!! One of my favorite quotes is:  "You can't polish a turd"!! Any thoughts?? 8-]]] 

    Yours is so funny!!

    Here's my fav:  

    A Streetcar Named Desire

    Blanche DuBois: But some things are not forgivable. Deliberate cruelty is not forgivable! It is the one unforgivable thing, in my opinion, and the one thing of which I have never, never been guilty.

  4. Wow that's a really big decision.  My two cents is, the job gets you up and about?  You said if you retire you'll be a "bum"?  How about having a one on one with your manager--and explain that the last manager may have painted a picture of you that's not accurate.  Ask her to give you a chance to show that picture isn't accurate.  Your decision is really, really hard.  And I get that stress, and I'm so sorry your job is so stressful.  Or, maybe find that one hobby or thing you enjoy and retire and have that life.  Life, I'm not sure what that is...  But I so hope the decision  (and afterwards) doesn't cause you more stress.  

  5. Being honest with your primary doctor keeps you safe.  You don't have to say he got you addicted--but maybe say "I feel I'm taking too many meds, and I want to get off some."  My doctor tapered it for me.  It was safe, and in no time I was off it.  The withdrawls I'm still dealing with--and that "X" was mega hard on me when it left my system.  But it was one less addictive med that I was on.

  6. I have a sister who tells me to pray my "depression" away or that I'm doing this or that on purpose.

    My brother says depression doesn't exist, it's just weak people who need to "do something about it."  Fix it, move on.

    People like this, family, are toxic.  They'll make depression worse, they can be behind your depression and problems.  My sister was a terrorizing bully, and my brother was physically abuse.  I shrank, it was the strongest will survive in my house and I didn't.  I ran at 19, from the South way up to the North into the hands of an abusive alcoholic aunt.  Then, now, I'm back near this family, but our mom is gone and I'm dealing with them again.  I have a new therapist, whew, so tired of going to treatment--but I can't stop.  Also, learned a new word, "boundaries."  2020, it'll be interesting to say the least.

  7. I don't think it's rude to ask a woman to be tested.  I think it's in the way that it's ask.  "Her Name, I think we should both be safe, make sure everything is in the clear--let's both be tested to make sure.."  Yes in the same clinic at the same time.  If she reacts or is offended, that would be a sign something's off (I think).  In my humble opinion. 

    But here's the thing-- I would hope that enough therapy has been had, that you take it really slow and that s*x isn't in the picture for a while.  Get to know you first, then her, her group of friends, she meets your mom,  be best friends, all that stuff first.  In my humble opinion, that long old-fashioned road.  It's in this phase that you'll learn about her, her choices... Maybe your worries will be eased in the getting to know her.

    Wait, if you're asking her to be tested before the kiss?  I still think the right girl for you shouldn't mind?  But this is from my point of view.

  8. 2 hours ago, Atra said:

    I attempt to hold both honesty and compassion in balance, though I cannot always live up to this value.

    I admit it's difficult for me to give space to other people's joy and pleasure when I'm feeling truly awful. So I may self-censor if I can't join in with them - I'm not going along to get along but rather, I'm giving them space to enjoy an authentic feeling of their own.

    The way I would like to balance honesty and compassion, when I'm able, goes like this:

    Recognizing that honesty without compassion or kindness can be brutal, cruel, arrogant and it disconnects me from others. I find no authenticity or satisfaction in inflicting hurt upon another because I feel pain or because I'm hurt by how others have treated me. And I recognize how honesty without compassion can also be perceived as resentment or insensitivity, whether I mean it to or not, which also disconnects me from others. 

    On the other side of the scale: kindness without honesty can be manipulative, inauthentic, belittling and enabling - which also disconnects me from others and it's not being true to myself. If I'm doing this, I'm probably trying to get something or feel some way about myself and that undermines the sincerity of the (empty) gesture. 

    I want to be honest AND kind to another individual because I feel better (less self-hatred) when I am. When achieving this balance, I can be respectful of another while also respecting myself. 

    What about moods? Yes, they're authentic but emotions aren't facts they're feelings. What I mean is, if I feel a certain way (dumb, ugly, useless) it doesn't mean that's what I am.


    Honesty and compassion-- there is more peace (for us, for others) on this road.  Even if we can't balance it out, or we fail on both-- just trying seems to bring a more calmness, inner peace, knowing you tried.  Atra thank you for this post.

  9. Yes, life feels like hell right now.  But I'm going to say, even if the year 2020 will try to bury me--I'm going to battle.  We don't deserve all of this s**t!  We deserve to be happy, feel loved, feel secure and safe.  I'll go down fighting.  This intolerable life isn't fair!!  We're feeling these unspeakable pains and horrors, yet we're filled with love--love for others.  We're kind.  Whatever the bleep has its hands pressing on us, gotta do something to get that pressure off us...  I don't have the answers.  I'm without my mom now.  Things have gotten worst.  All I got is pain, and a need to fight and get this darkness off me.  

    I need to see that one happy day.

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