HeatherG

Zombiees4life, Not sure if you hung around to see someone responded to you on here . Actually it's brave to eat in any restaurant by yourself, I end up feeling awkward and taking the food home and it's of course cold by the time I get there. Anyway, when you struggle with depression for this long it will feel like your normal, when it's not normal to feel this way. Depression is a liar, masked, betrayer, and it's why we go to therapy to unravel what's real, true, and factual. This is not YOU. You're only 25, you have plenty of time to find your truth and find happiness. But you can't do it alone. I wouldn't go to facebook for friends or to reach out. I scheduled a psychologist for myself. You can schedule a therapist and see how it goes and I promise you, if you find a genuine one who is real, going to invest in you emotionally, listen, and dig at where all this is coming from--you will feel relief but it's never instant, never overnight. But oh the joy of leaving an office and you get a mountain off your back. I always come home feeling a little bit of relief. Like, someone cares about me. Please try this. I signed on here because I'm at the end of my rope. It took a little bit for someone to respond to me. A nice person responded. Then another and another. Please hang in there, and see your tomorrows don't have to mirror your yesterdays.

I truly understand. I too know someone who I'd love to call and say, "I'm having a hard time." But everyone makes me feel like a bummer, a debbie-downer or buzz ****. So, I keep my mouth shut, and I do resent it, alot. Maybe you could start off small, like, "I know you're truly busy and I'm not here to weigh you down but, I'm feeling down a bit so if you have some time could we talk." If she responds, keep it light and short and see how she handles that much. And she may very well be really busy and cannot invest in the way you would like or need--but it doesn't mean she doesn't care. I'm glad you have a sister figure in her. In my past I would drop people if they couldn't be there. Now, I realize, their human. They don't understand depression. And I needed to understand them as much as I needed them to understand me. As it goes, you and I end up backing off because we're so worried we'll end up annoying them. I'm tired of feeling that way. So, we go to our therapists and I'm so happy you have a genuine good one! Mine too! I'm hoping they help us make friends and learn how to keep them. Also, I'd like to get back to work one day. Staying busy definitely eases depression especially if you like what you're doing. :)

Yep, same here, my family actually calls me to complain about their woes, trials and issues--but I can't call them. I don't know why people do this, like, your family, mine, they can lean on us but we can't lean on them. I'm hoping a therapist helps us both to build our own family, you know family doesn't have to be biological it can be by choice--good people we attract who'll love us and understand and let/allow us to cry on their shoulders and not make us feel like a burden. Hey great you like your therapist, that is great news to hear! YES! She offered for you to call her??? That's a great sign, she's emotionally investing in you, genuinely caring about you! You deserve this! Yes I know calling on the phone for some minutes is never enough, but at least if an emergency comes up you know she's available, ya know? I'm happy to support, because I know what it feels like. People with mental health pain need to be there for one another because the world is just not educated enough to understand. So we have to lean on one another. I'm glad you're hanging in there, and yes I know how tough and difficult it is but we're one step ahead because we have therapistS to talk to. I'll be so glad when a month is up and you get to go in for sessions--count down to October 11? Around that date? I'm happy for you! *hugs*

I have family members just like that who tell me to be positive and complain when I complain (instead of trying to lift me up). Is your therapist good enough to wait on? That's awhile before you see her. Is she worth waiting for, has she given you advice on what to do in the meantime? Would you like to see someone else? Those aren't good or decent friends, you deserve not only better but much better. But you need to believe this. Yes it's hard to lift yourself up when you're depressed, I feel the same way. Being so low for so long is horrible--one does after awhile accept those blues. If happiness hit me I'd probably be suspicious and it would make me uncomfortable. Honey, I'm hanging in there. Happy I see my psychologists on Tuesday. I hope you're able to maybe see someone until your scheduled therapist. You shouldn't have to wait like this. You deserve to have some relief sooner than later. Take care, I wish you the best.

20 years of donations...whoa, I would write someone a letter there and let them know what's happened, what you use to do and how much you cared-- but, when you were in need they didn't help and that's just wrong. That's how I am, I will notify a company/org in a minute when something is so obviously wrong and backward. That is a rough summer you had. If you were in the states like I am, in my area east coast we'd show you around to different churches that give out food. But I'm glad you do have friends and family to help out, that's awesome to hear. Maybe by the end of the year, you'll be about to be back on track? Something to look forward to. Hey did you mention what you write? The genre I mean? I think you said fiction? Me too, I just wish I could edit. You're taking a class too? Wow, I think you will be getting back on track sooner than later. By staying busy, I think depression might keep at bay, no time to think it's just time to do. I'm glad to hear things are turning around for you. Glad to hear it. :)

Hey CoolCat, I was wondering what's the latest. Thanks for giving an update. I understand your feelings about giving back, that's a personal decision and it's understandable how you feel. I'd probably do the same thing you're doing. I'm glad you have people to go to when things get real hard. Are you able to write anything lately? I don't understand that food bank you give to, they give to those who are long term users, that doesn't seem fair. I'm glad to hear your optimistic about getting back on your feet financially. That's a real good thing to look forward to. Lack of responses on DF, I've unfortunately gotten use to it. I post to so many people, but I"m accustomed to being ignored most of the time anyway by family--so little to no responses on here are like, family! lol. CoolCat, keep in touch, okay?

I'm so sorry to hear your mother passed away. That's a heartache and heartbreak that I cannot imagine. Are you close to any other family members? Are you talking to a professional about your depression and pain? That would alleviate some of your more hurting feelings--relieve you of some of the stress you're feeling. Up above, you have friends like that? Wow. But, and this is huge, none of their material gain or wealth takes away from what makes you special. I've been on both sides of the fence, and I'd never trade in my character and intelligence for the wealth that my former friends had/have. I've also spent years in therapy, which helps me gain perspective when times are tough and trying. I'm struggling hard right now. But inside of me, I have to believe there is more to life than this. This is what I choose to believe. And I believe there is so much more to your life than what is going on right now. I believe this for you. Now, take care and reach out to a therapist. And be good to yourself :)

Hi Nemsay, Don't worry about not being familiar with this site. I was the same way when I first signed on. After awhile though you'll get real use to it, it's easy once you know how to reply, things like that. But you did get this through! Yay!! :) I'm hanging in there, it's all I can do right now. Depression's pretty bad these days. You holding on too? Sometimes that's all we can do. Hope you find yourself at home here, and find people are kind. I hope you're having a good Saturday. Take care.

I completely feel and understand everything that you're going through. We've gone to nearby churches for food. I'm so sorry about that smoke, I don't watch the news (much anymore) so I didn't know there's smoke there which would make it real hard for asthmatics. I have asthma too, but it's not that bad. I know those anxieties, all too well. I'm so sorry you are hurting. And I know you hate borrowing, and being in need. It would draw you back to memories of struggling, which no one wants to do as we get older. I'm right there honey. It does seem like people don't care, but we do care. I wish I could point you here or there for help. Maybe I'm lucky, we do have churches that give out food so I would hope/believe they are doing that there?-- are they near you? Honey hang in there. I want to believe our tomorrows will be different, light has to peek in somewhere. You said you write? Have you submitted any of your writings to agents or publishers?

I care CoolCat7. If you ever wanna chat/talk/message or somethin let me know. I'll be happy to listen. People do care. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain right now. Wanna tell me what's going on? Let me know, okay??? *hugs*

Thank you, :) *hugs*

doesn't matter

lifeless

I know that feeling. Having that one friend and when they leave it's horrible. I hope (if you want) you all make up? it's hard to make friends, anyone'll tell ya that. I hope you're able to connect with ppl on here or maybe, other websites so you can chat/ talk, connect with people. :)

I want to say find an attorney--but I won't focus on getting a good attorney to make sure he doesn't take all that rightfully belongs to you. First, I hope you're physically safe. I would reach out to old friends and family back in Canada to try to reestablish those connections. They might be upset over you staying with him, but explain what's going on now and explain you need their love and concern--I don't see them ignoring you if you reach out to them. Also, please seek a counselor who is licensed and skilled in domestic abuse, also for the depression you're experiencing. You need to go out and get some air, light, people, sounds, distractions, buy yourself a cupcake or magazine. Please seek help so you can navigate your way through all of this, and it's going to be rough but with counselors, therapists on your side and maybe join a group and you might hear the name of an attorney who won't cost that much to represent you. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all fall in love with our eyes closed. --Keep yourself safe. :)

*laughing* :)

Oh my gosh me too! Those happy innocent years when one would scream happy when their idol would be interviewed on MTV. You named groups my sister and I would hurry and push a tape into the VCR to play it over and over. Remember Duran Duran, whoa, I lost my mind over them. Nick Rhodes and his makeup, ahh! Gosh you took me back, thank you. And Jennifer Beals in Flashdance was so gorgeous. My sister loved Men without Hats. And we had the best slumber parties, do girls even do this these days?? You made me smile with this post. Hugs and thank you because I'm going through such a hard time. I can't sleep either so music keeps me calm sometimes. Take care :)

Now that's what I call music! I youtubed the trout quintet and, beautiful!!!

Neil Diamond, then some House of Pain (love their rap), Olivia Newton-John, INXS, George Michael. Man I miss Michael Hutchence and George Michael

scared about tomorrow, going into town creeps me out. I hate a big city (no offense to big city folk :) Having agoraphobia means today my mind is fixated on me going outside tomorrow. Dealing with people and their filthy convos on their cell phones, screaming at their children, cursing, their personal convos, their so rude. Get off the bus, be accosted by vagrants and by the time I get to my appointment I just want to run home. I'm taking a cab back.

Lack of sleep almost feels worse than the depression. I got off Xanax because it's not something I want to feel dependent upon. Downside is with it gone so is the 3 to 5 hours of sleep I could get. Now, not being on it, I get maybe an hour or two of sleep. I wonder, how long can a person go like this. Hope you were able to get any sleep? I think I slept from 7 am to 9am. I'm sorry you're feeling bleak. Do you know what's troubling you?

You have a great question. Because it's hard to keep friends and make them when one is depressed/dealing with depression and those dark thoughts that plague us. I would see a therapist (I am) to give you tips on how to handle being a friend when you're feeling really down. A therapist can give you advice on how to make friends, how to avoid maybe panic attacks or when you just don't want to be around anyone but your friends are expecting you to show up (happened alot to me). You'll learn that maybe some friends aren't real friends and some you can confide a little bit in. Hopefully, you'll make new friends and they'll understand when moods get the best of you. They won't feel let down or find you a debbie downer. Anyway, you don't "talk too much."--in your signature. And never feel that way about yourself. I'm always reminding people like us who deal with depression to be kinder, gentler, nicer to ourselves. I think we deserve it. Be good to YOU. And also, we need to be patient with friends who haven't a clue about depression and believe one can just snap out of it. Be patient with them and remember be patient with ourselves.

You have a great question. Because it's hard to keep friends and make them when one is depressed/dealing with depression and those dark thoughts that plague us. I would see a therapist (I am) to give you tips on how to handle being a friend when you're feeling really down. A therapist can give you advice on how to make friends, how to avoid maybe panic attacks or when you just don't want to be around anyone but your friends are expecting you to show up (happened alot to me). You'll learn that maybe some friends aren't real friends and some you can confide a little bit in. Hopefully, you'll make new friends and they'll understand when moods get the best of you. They won't feel let down or find you a debbie downer. Anyway, you don't "talk too much."--in your signature. And never feel that way about yourself. I'm always reminding people like us who deal with depression to be kinder, gentler, nicer to ourselves. I think we deserve it. Be good to YOU. And also, we need to be patient with friends who haven't a clue about depression and believe one can just snap out of it. Be patient with them and remember be patient with ourselves.

I'm up again (1:33 am) and it's hours before I'll be able to go to sleep. :(

rudeness. Insensitivity. People who only think about themselves. Small minded people. Those who refuse to change even if it would improve their own life. People who litter. Gangster rap music, most rap music. Neighbors who play loud music Bullies People who don't believe children are worth listening to. Reality tv.