HeatherG

I am mad

Gandolf, It's just brutal right now. For people like us, if you don't mind me including you, me, and the people on here--the covid ripped that thin rug underneath us. it was already ripped and shredded. For me who can't stand going outside, not being a fan of people--but getting out even to go buy a book would give me just enough to get through a week or two. Then covid hit. Add in my fear of germs, oh my gosh I'm triggered just writing this. And my mom passed away in the middle of 2019. Months before covid hit. I could go on and on. Horrible fam. No friends, so on here--like reading your words, it gave me a boost. YOU gave me a boost. I felt so touched and moved by your words. You have a compassion heart. And for those like us, we endure a heavier burden in this world. I've been a fan of yours on here. I'm so sorry you're suffering and struggling. Gandolf we do turn those corners, but sometimes when we turn them, it's another corner waiting for us. I wish I could understand this. I hope you've heard this before on here, but please hang in there. I'm admitting to being selfish asking this (I'm sorry). But I ask anyway. ?

You have every right to complain. Why call it that though? You are stating how you feel, and you have every right-- esp on here! I'll just speak for myself, I feel exactly how you do. In fact I think it's safe to say most of the world, particularly because of the pandemic, are feeling the same way you are. How do I cope? I have a therapist, and a pastor I can call/talk to. I really don't pay much attention to the news, I try to stay informed but it triggers me sooooo much! I try to pray for others, next moment I'm yelling at God, "Why'd you let that happen? What's the point!? Hello? Hello!" I come on here, great place to come on here. I rant here, to myself, to God, to the universe. "HELLO!?" LOL Then I read your post, and I definitely don't feel alone. Almha, thank YOU

I made tacos. Tasty food helps, yeah the scale is terrorizing me now, lol-- but idc. I feel better because of the tacos?

I send snuggles to everyone. To those who have disturbing dreams and nightmare (me, both!) -- I send super hugs. Everyone, have a sweet goodnight. Thanks @Nightjar for bringing the goodnight thread to life!

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. I didn't know u were in the UK. I am so sorry. I hope the complaints department helps you. I don't even know what to say. I had no idea the UK was like that. The UK media makes it seems that everything is free ( w medical) and doctors come to your house.. I don't know anything about blood clots or vitamin K. Please let me know in the next few days if you were able to change doctors. Yes, PUSH to get help because you're right, the pandemic has made everything worse, even here in the US. Wow, the trains stop by 5 pm? Just wow. Please keep me updated. I'd like to hear you advocating for yourself is reaching people-- And they are responding to you. I wish you the best. Please take care. I send virtual hugs

oh jeez. My mom was a hoarder, not A&E Hoarders level, but it's enough. Mom's house you couldn't see the junk. She used drawers and closets. Until she started collecting furniture. I hate a packed house. I like seeing corners. One time I put out a lot of stuff and the garbage truck broke down on my street from it. I packed that truck. I bet even now the garbage ppl are like, "what is in that house!?" LOL. I don't know why my mother hoarded food, I sometimes cry realizing now after she's gone--what fears was she dealing with? Because my mom came from money. Omg, I wrote on here me cleaning out MY junk, ridiculous stuff I saved. MY MOM did that too. wow. But Mom would not share her emotions with us. Until at the end she unloaded everyone of her deepest secrets and she gutted my and my siblings. Parents, please don't... Then we found the letters to our father, and I know now my mother suffered incredibly. Yep, what edge I was clinging to, I let go. Now a lot of the time I don't give a damn. Mom was emotionally unavailable and she knew/she wrote knowing I needed hugs and snuggles. She wouldn't or couldn't do that. I've suffered so much from that lack of emotional comforting and reassuring. So last night I went through the entire kitchen--garbage ppl will hate me. LOL. I thought I was going to pass out. But because of my OCD I had to finish it. The completing it felt nice. So today how do I feel? Worn out.

Gosh I hope some of what I'm saying can help. Okay, are you in the US, I'm in the upper Northeast. One, hospitals here sometimes list doctor's email addresses, phone numbers. You'd be surprised board members contact info is sometimes listed. I would email and describe what you are going through. Here, sometimes hospitals/doctors/social services can send a car to you and bring you home at the hospital's expense. Unfortunately, because no one should have to beg for help--but that's what we have to do-- Be our own advocate. I went through it, and I've found sometimes people will answer you just to get you out of the way--but an answer is an answer. Also, on most hospital websites--there is a contact button you can click. Write them everything that is going on. Now, here, I've always gotten a response. Down South, they have to tiptoe to get help and god forbid they can't "offend" a doctor with facts or the truth. Somehow there, doctors/hospitals don't have to pretend to be nice and they aren't nice at all. I go on Elliott Advocacy a lot. Just in general I use this for contact info. And yes, sack bad doctors but if you want--but try to see if they will eventually respond OR, they at least send you to someone who can help. Their supposed to do that, or at least make an attempt to show they care (even a little bit). YOU MATTER, and it looks like you are in the right direction. I'm so sorry about your kittens. I hope you receive help. And I admire that you are headed in the right direction. You are advocating for yourself. --I bid you peace.

I feel better checking in here today. Takes my mind off my problems and issues. My heart goes out to those struggling and suffering.

This is one of the sweetest exchanges that I've read on here.

Good Morning Starshine

I'm cleaning out the basement, and I'm coming upon bags and bags and boxes filled with my junk. Why would I save empty medicine bottles, old tooth brushes, rusty can openers, old utensils, dozens of nail polish bottles when I don't paint my nails. And I'm still buying nail polish! I can't hold on any longer to JUNK. I don't want to be that person. Not even sure why I'm posting this. Did I say I was tired? lol

For the first time, I'm afraid to win-- I'm afraid of the job. And afraid to lose, I'm afraid I won't get it. Dang my insecurities.

I wanted to chime in and say Hi Lindsay too. It's just nice to hear from her

Land. Lots of land.

Life is heavy. Living, heavy.

Stop Calling Me

Did you know Disney/ABC is hiring screenwriters? Every May, until June 7th I believe, they open a big casting call for writers/scripts/TV screenwriters. Just FYI. That's all I know..

I don't feel like, I've accomplished. You know? That pat yourself on your back. Or, am I being too hard on myself. Yeah, I see I'm not the only one with severe mood swings. But I rarely ever feel that overwhelming joy, happy feeling. Ugh, what if I do accomplish and then I don't feel happy? AHHHHHHH! I need my spaceship to come get me now. LOL.

Fears