HeatherG

Yours is so funny!! Here's my fav: A Streetcar Named Desire Blanche DuBois: But some things are not forgivable. Deliberate cruelty is not forgivable! It is the one unforgivable thing, in my opinion, and the one thing of which I have never, never been guilty.

I was scared I thought DF was gone--pg wouldn't load. I mean really scared.

Wow that's a really big decision. My two cents is, the job gets you up and about? You said if you retire you'll be a "bum"? How about having a one on one with your manager--and explain that the last manager may have painted a picture of you that's not accurate. Ask her to give you a chance to show that picture isn't accurate. Your decision is really, really hard. And I get that stress, and I'm so sorry your job is so stressful. Or, maybe find that one hobby or thing you enjoy and retire and have that life. Life, I'm not sure what that is... But I so hope the decision (and afterwards) doesn't cause you more stress.

Being honest with your primary doctor keeps you safe. You don't have to say he got you addicted--but maybe say "I feel I'm taking too many meds, and I want to get off some." My doctor tapered it for me. It was safe, and in no time I was off it. The withdrawls I'm still dealing with--and that "X" was mega hard on me when it left my system. But it was one less addictive med that I was on.

I have a sister who tells me to pray my "depression" away or that I'm doing this or that on purpose. My brother says depression doesn't exist, it's just weak people who need to "do something about it." Fix it, move on. People like this, family, are toxic. They'll make depression worse, they can be behind your depression and problems. My sister was a terrorizing bully, and my brother was physically abuse. I shrank, it was the strongest will survive in my house and I didn't. I ran at 19, from the South way up to the North into the hands of an abusive alcoholic aunt. Then, now, I'm back near this family, but our mom is gone and I'm dealing with them again. I have a new therapist, whew, so tired of going to treatment--but I can't stop. Also, learned a new word, "boundaries." 2020, it'll be interesting to say the least.

I'm sorry to post this, and then I'll log off and listen to some music that might wake up my soul. But is it possible to feel dead but you're still breathing? Like the walking dead? I haven't watched that show.

Can't buy peaceful and quiet neighborhood. But I'll count my blessings, it's not too bad. But yep, a new home in a super quiet neighborhood would be the gift of a lifetime. ☺️

I don't think it's rude to ask a woman to be tested. I think it's in the way that it's ask. "Her Name, I think we should both be safe, make sure everything is in the clear--let's both be tested to make sure.." Yes in the same clinic at the same time. If she reacts or is offended, that would be a sign something's off (I think). In my humble opinion. But here's the thing-- I would hope that enough therapy has been had, that you take it really slow and that s*x isn't in the picture for a while. Get to know you first, then her, her group of friends, she meets your mom, be best friends, all that stuff first. In my humble opinion, that long old-fashioned road. It's in this phase that you'll learn about her, her choices... Maybe your worries will be eased in the getting to know her. Wait, if you're asking her to be tested before the kiss? I still think the right girl for you shouldn't mind? But this is from my point of view.

I did my asthma treatment. I'm not happy with that being my accomplishment for the morning.

Honesty and compassion-- there is more peace (for us, for others) on this road. Even if we can't balance it out, or we fail on both-- just trying seems to bring a more calmness, inner peace, knowing you tried. Atra thank you for this post.

I love your post about a much better day, thank you @Floor2017