HeatherG

One of my many fears is seeing something I cannot unsee. But never to this magnitude, my goodness my thoughts and prayers go to your brother and to you, his caring sister. I agree with SillySally43 on helping him find a counselor, a therapist. And, know that the first 2 therapists may not work, or be who your brother needs but please tell him to hang in there. I went through a couple, hung in there and found one who to this day really showed me that therapist can be truly compassionate. I hope your brother finds compassion in a therapist and can help him process that awful scene and experience. He deserves peace of mind. And it's wonderful seeing how much you love him.

Mom's commenting on my lack of a life.

Hi Mtnborn, Yes, welcome to DF! I'm sorry you're struggling so, and absolutely this is a very comforting place to come to. You are not alone, not at all. And I completely understand those feelings of loneliness, feeling a bit isolated and your only contact maybe with people at work. I mean, I can only speak about what's alleviated my symptoms of depression and anxiety over the years. Therapy is one, having that weekly connection with someone who can offer tips and advice, suggestions on where maybe shy people meet--local spots to check out. Things like that. Also, someone weekly to check in with who offers that face to face, with empathy and compassion. You certainly deserve compassion, we all do. I've found this community/site here so helpful to me. DF is a really warm place, like a second family but this second family understands me when my own biological family doesn't. So, I hope you'll maybe keep us updated on how you're doing.

I only remember tiny pieces, but I do wake up knowing I was struggling in my dreams. Always trying to get away from something or someone. I'm also trying to rescue someone. I wake up feeling disturbed, but can't for the life of me remember exactly what happened. Strange.

I've been there, wow have I. Looking back, I think I had to go through it -- I guess everybody goes through a heartbreak like the one you're feeling. But, for someone who maybe prone to depression or is super sensitive, or for whatever reason it is something you can't let go, then being in therapy is the best thing you can do. I'm not a professional at all in anyway, just a member on this site that hopes what I've gone through can help someone else. I believe in therapy, I've had a bond with a therapist who truly showed me that I mattered. This is crucial. I've seen that someone like me, I feel unloved and empty so that one person who I needed to love me, when he couldn't or wouldn't, or stopped--it felt like my heart was physically ripped out. Like, him not loving me affected my happiness. I look back, and I don't know what stopped the pain. But journaling, therapy, I just kept getting up and moving forward (I see as I look back), and one day the pain and longing went away.

In the wee hours of the morning I washed dishes... this is getting kinda pathetic

ID Channel. mayem, missing, ********... 'Disappeared' is gut wrenching. I wanna watch NFL but haven't found that favorite team yet.

Wondering what happens in life when there's nothing to look forward to? Nothing positive, cause I can darn sure bet something negative will happen.. I feel kinda dreary? Empty. Wow on the road to numb.. I use to be optimistic and a dreamer. Really hopeful, I shoulda stayed away from my family. They k*l-l dreams.

Surfing the 'net, happy that I have a new pair of glasses. Small things we are grateful for?

Welcome to DF! This site has kinda been my second family and second home. I've met such kind, warm welcoming people. Actually my family doesn't understand the struggles and suffering that come with depression and anxieties--people here understand. Thank you for sharing your story. And no, you are not alone.

I hope you feel better..

Good Luck Everyone.

Fall is here