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Zagor

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About Zagor

  • Rank
    Member

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Darkwood
  • Interests
    Climbing up the trees

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  1. Hey Epictetus. Thank you for your kind respond. When people get blinded by fear they have difficulties thinking rationally. I have no options to look at Mayo or other clinics. If it wasn't for this doctor I would leave this issue alone. My family doctor refuses to do any testings and I have to go with this slow moving doctor. I am trying not to worry because I have worried my whole life about things. I will try to look for that book. Thanks again.
  2. I believe the drugs damaged our cells and killed the once that produce dopamine so we either recover with time or stay like this.
  3. Some of us, when we feel down, we fell careless and question if would it be better off dead. But when something scary happens then it's a different thinking. A year and a half ago I did an abdominal CT scan for abdominal pain and bloating including real bad "silent acid reflux" that's lasting for years. They found a cyst on my bile duct. I repeated the scan in August last year and it says same, a congenital stable cyst, born with it. Two doctors said don't worry about it. Then I saw someone like specialist or something for the reflux and he set appointment for endoscopy in 7 weeks time. However, this past Wednesday he called me to the office. He says he will refer me to a surgeon because of the cyst on bile duct. He says it can become cancerous. I googled later and read on 2 websites that it can become and the chances for someone of my age is 26%. And incurable. What's even more confusing, even after surgery, the chances for developing a cancer are from 2.5% to 30%. Yesterday I spoke to my family doctor and she said she never heard of it and she doesn't send her patients for surgery when she finds that even though internet says its a rare disorder. But follow the specialists orders she said. So it added to my anxiety and stress 99 fold. It effects my depression too. I have no more strength to do things or look forward for anything. Simply too scared. And it is going to take months until something is done about it.
  4. I used and abused opioids and now no AD helps. How long did you use the drugs for?
  5. This would be probably the first time in my life where I am losing all hope and think that dying is the way out. - Almost 30 years battleing depression, anxiety, panic, depersonalization and many many many other problems both physical and mental. - My father is at hospital and after his radiation he was supposed to do surgery but things got worse -My mother is diabetic and very sick, worries me to death. -My younger brother has severe mental illness - My child is having severe anxiety related to school and him being a cancer survivor every time he gets sick from cold or something worry too much. - I am 40 and I have no point in life. Being on disability and having no friends (and all the stuff above plus much more) makes me a good candidate to end this misery Why would I live? Just to suffer more and more?
  6. My brother has the most severe Pure O that I have ever heard of. It evolved into anxiety and depression. There's a good book for severe OCD where you do exposure therapy but you would need someone to help you with it. If you are interested I can find the title/author. Constant ruminating and obsession will make you depressed.
  7. Besides chronic pain I have f-ing depersonalization that is making me so angry and I live life as a zombie. I hope you get better. You will eventually make friends both in real life and online. I don't have a single friend and I ithink Im used to it. Life is a prostitute.
  8. My former shrink suggested I might have mild PTSD. It is possible. However, anxiety has been my worst issue, anxiety and other problems that go under it, like dp caused by anxiety, huge stress and much more. Well, 3 nights ago I was talking to my mom and I started talking nonsense. She thought I was making fun. The next day after I woke up I was OK for a few hours then again, I spoke nonsense. Day 3, I wanted to check if that will happen again. As I was leading a convo with her I changed the subject and started nonsense but I immediately realized that and said to my mom that it is coming on again. It lasted again until bedtime. I must say I didn't sleep for 48 hours at all prior the first episode. The only medication I RESTARTED was modafinil to treat narcolepsy. But I have taken 2-3 weeks ago. Now, I remember a few things when I was in what I call "losing touch with reality" but not many. I remember my mother crying but I did nothing to help her. I don't have a shrink yet any my family doctor is an egoistic peace of crap. Anyway, has anyone experienced anything like this or has any idea what it could be.
  9. haha. I just wish I didnt reach my oxy tolerance. damn. I most often go thru hell but when i feel little better i act as a 20 yo 🙂
  10. Ahathesia is something im going thru. I have hope I can beat it. But depersonalization is something I have since 12 yo and this fogginess makes my memore non existant. Please do not write not to end thing and that you care. No offence but it dont help. I tried psychotherapy and the bitch made it worse. Should I continue living like robot, zombie or some animal?
  11. Zagor

    Hope

    hope eventually dies...sorry
  12. dp is depersonalization. fuq life like this
  13. i got akathesia among do dpressrion and anxieety. im contempleting to end things forever
  14. They haunt me 24/7. My son had cancer when he was 5 and he got cured now he is 12 and doing well but has been coughing for several months and that scares me a lot I can't stop thinking about it. Also worrying about my mom. On top of that I had a fight with my crazy ex she wants to call children services says home is dirty. Anti anxiety and anti depression medications do not work God.
  15. I am on a few prescribed medications but I gotta try fish oil (although I don't believe in it right now) and curcumin. Ketamine is being tested for depression here but it is next to impossible to get on it. I got a pet, a kitten..well now a cat and sometimes I spend an hour playing with him when he is in mood. I prefer dogs and thought of getting one in the spring but I live in cities crowded houses and I don't know the rules, Dogs are definitely more fun than cats.
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