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About Zagor

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  1. Zagor

    Has anybody else wasted their life?

    Same here. Impractically dead. Cannot feel happiness. cannot feel life due to dp/dr. I thought is I don't feel happy by 40 which is 11 months, I should plan my funeral
  2. Zagor

    Has anybody else wasted their life?

    My brother is 30. In the last 10 years he hasn't left the house more than 20 times. Severe depression, anxiety and horrifying OCD. It started when he was 10 and he accomplished nothing. Doesn't have driver's license. He is just living because he doesn't wanna hurt our mother if he kills himself. I am 39. Aging is one of my biggest fears. When I was 29 I thought I was too old. Now I wish I was in early 30's. I also have wasted most of my life due to mental illness. I have had some good time, a kid, was married......but the mental horror I went through since I was 12 is a killer. I cannot feel life because I have constant severe depersonalization on top with depression and many other crippling symptoms that come out from anxiety and depression. I have nothing to look forward. I just have a tremendous fear of future. Fear of losing my mother and fear of aging. If I cannot feel the life or any pleasure what is the point? I have so called"chronic pelvic pain syndrome" which makes me, with the help of medications, 100% impotent. I do not have a single friend nor do I want any. People in their early 20 who complain that their life is over are partially right. If they lost their childhood or early adulthood that will haunt them. The good thing is that they can, if they heal, make up for the most part of it. A question for those 50+. Does 39 or 40 seem too old to YOU? What would you do or give (if anything) to be that age? Sorry the question is weird but IMO being 40 is like being 60.
  3. For almost a year now constantly and 25 years on and off my anxiety has been severe. Last 10 months together depression and anxiety tortured me. I also had physical anxiety like similar to parasthesia in my body and my brain. Very nasty symptom. I tried to smoke garden shrub but it made it worse. I can't smoke, can't drink coffee etc because everything would just make it worse. Benzos don't help either because I built tolerance plus suboxone that I used is blocking effects of everything. Even kratom did nothing. I went on Saturday and bought some CBD oil. 20:1 So there basically was no THC. I put some under my tongue and felt relief right away. (15-20 minutes) All day long it would help after I use some. On Sunday I used it every 6 hours and am anxiety free. I noticed mild relief from depression too. I don't know is it because of the oil or because less anxiety less depression. I still have to avoid cigarettes and caffeine because they somehow inflame my nerves. I hope it doesn't lose the effect and helps even better. So if you haven't tried it and have anxiety please get some. It has no side effects and you cannot overdose. It is expensive though. About $100 a week. But health has no price. Now I have to get depression under control and i think I will if I manage to quit narcotics I take for pain (which don't give me high due to suboxone) DF STAFF NOTE: CBD Oil may be illegal where you live; it is illegal in many states in the US. Please learn about the laws in your US state or the country where you live regarding CBD Oil or other oils/medications/supplements/unguents/etc originating from the good old garden shrub.
  4. Zagor


    Anyone here on pain medications like morphine together with antidepressants?
  5. Depression? Maybe. Antidepressants? Yes
  6. Zagor

    Help! Mysterious Bite

    Probably a reaction. I have seen it from a bee sting or other insects. There is a $5 cream called "antibite". But I would see a doc to be on a safe side.
  7. Zagor

    Good Pets for Depression?

    While I hate mice/rats, I still think hamsters are cute.
  8. Zagor

    life philosophy for the depressed?

    @museumgirl Meaning of life is to enjoy it. To enjoy every little thing. Going shopping and watch a movie makes a day beautiful. BUT NOT FOR ME AND YOU AND MANY OTHERS HERE. We have no happiness in anything and nothing matters to us, nothing makes us happy so I don't know what am I living for. @Epictetus I agree and disagree with you. You sound as a really kind man. I also look not to hurt a fly, feed rabbits that are running around the street, try to calm others when they are distressed either online or in real life. BUT I still get no joy for my day. There is no endorphin and dopamine in my brain. I don't feel things. I had one day where i felt good for a few hours so I said to myself Im going to get a leather jacket and some more new clothes but soon after I lost interest and wouldn't/couldn't go if it was for free. Sux
  9. Zagor

    How to deal with morning depression

    I don't know what a good morning feels like, literally. I always blamed depression but recently I learned it could be a sleep disorder similar to "non-24" or some optic-neurological disorder. all I can to is request some testings. Nothing helps. I get out of bed like a very sick patient form ICU, both mentally and physically. I wish I investigated this 20 years ago.
  10. Zagor

    Sleeping Problems

    Im glad you have control over your job. Today I woke up at 19:30. Oh God im screwed
  11. Zagor

    Sleeping Problems

    I just found out that I very likely have a non-24. NON-24 is a sleeping disorder that effects every person uniquely but the point is all people have to sleep mostly during the day and stay awake at night. It affects mostly blind people but it can happen to sighted people as well. It can cause/worsen depression. The bad news is it cannot be cured but may be somewhat treated. But knowing it is not just me and hating my self, blaming myself help me a bit. My body clock doesn't work properly and just another illness to accept.
  12. Zagor

    Does anyone here own a Smartwatch?

    The thing is you still need to attach your smartphone to it. I think its OK for younger people to play with it but I see nothing wrong with using my regular watch and my smartphone separate. If you set a smartwatch for texts or emails, its a big no-no if you are driving or in loud place if you use calls. Too small for everything as well. Standalone watch is OK but then you still need charging it. IMO it is unnecessary luxury.
  13. Zagor


    I have been thru those problems. Paranoia, suspicion and fear can lead to hate. My "problems" were also mostly about foreignes even though I am one. It lasted several years until I built self confidence and now I don't feel paranoid nor do I hate anyone. I have no fear. So some CBT would help you, ask doctor about benzos. It will pass. BTW don't approach anyone nor be rude, no one likes that. Do your best to control your fear because there is nothing to fear when you think about it but I know your judgement is clouded and it's hard. Keep in mind that no one is after you, there are so many people so why you?
  14. My brother is 30 and never had one either. There is nothing wrong with him physically and girls have wanted to date him but his mental illness is too strong for that.
  15. Zagor

    How do I stop this self-destructive cycle?

    Reading your post I can relate 95%. I would add that Im under stress a lot. And 10 years older than you bothers the hell out of me. Right now I got a bad headache so can't even type. Hope we can get out of this hole somehow.