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About Zagor

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    Climbing up the trees

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  1. They haunt me 24/7. My son had cancer when he was 5 and he got cured now he is 12 and doing well but has been coughing for several months and that scares me a lot I can't stop thinking about it. Also worrying about my mom. On top of that I had a fight with my crazy ex she wants to call children services says home is dirty. Anti anxiety and anti depression medications do not work God.
  2. I am on a few prescribed medications but I gotta try fish oil (although I don't believe in it right now) and curcumin. Ketamine is being tested for depression here but it is next to impossible to get on it. I got a pet, a kitten..well now a cat and sometimes I spend an hour playing with him when he is in mood. I prefer dogs and thought of getting one in the spring but I live in cities crowded houses and I don't know the rules, Dogs are definitely more fun than cats.
  3. It is better to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
  4. No my friend nothing helps when Im really depressed. I take some supplements that ease the pain but will see how bad it will get. Im not quitting cold turkey (wouldn't survive that) but Im cutting off big doses every few days. I have been on it a whole year where it didn't help at all. Then another year prior on suboxone where I was just as depressed. I don't fear physical pain much, its the mental part. Honestly Im scared I will never feel normal again. But the drug has blocked antidepressants and has caused depression on its own. I would love to go back home in Europe but I can't until next year or possibly the year after. I haven't been back there for 23 years and it would be a big deal for me to go.
  5. Unfortunatelly I have to get off of it ASAP because I have issues with my stomach and my small intestine. Besides pain, my stomach as well as the small intestine are not working proparly, not processing the food. It is caused by the same medication where the doctor who prescribed it never mentioned that something like that could happen. After I increased the drug 2x I insisted to do therapy but he never filled out the papers I gave him for my insurance. Your username says "sober" as well as down below where it says Location. Maybe you know how it feels from experience but for me the mental part is the worst.
  6. Due to my physical problems, particulary lower back and pelvic also known as chronic pelvic pain syndrom (cpps) I was prescribed enormous amount of narcotics. Well it took (masked) my pain away and honestly made me feel good. That was until less than 2 years ago when I reached opioid tolerance. No more pain relief. But nobody told me that when I get off of these meds the pain will be 10x worse. And that's not all, I cannot even get off of them. They caused my, previously very treatable and mild depression anxiety into severe depression and anxiety yet being stuck on the drugs with pain. I managed to get down by half. But there is a long way to go. Once Im off and some time after it, depends how long, I should react to my antidepressants like I did before this pain killer. But I am afraid I will never get there. Tonight I tried to cut down my dose and within 30 minutes withdrawal symptoms started. Maybe I could make it If I go bit by bit every 2 weeks but that would take me until next winter so another year in severe depression? Did I mention that this drug gave me Akathisia. Luckily for me it is mild. And mild means punch a mirror or brak a glass or something. Severe means suicide. I thought I had some weird form of anxiety until my doc told me it could be a form of akathisia. It is a horrible weather over here. I am stuck in a house being depressed and having mental and physical anxiety. Last year it helped a bit when I go to park or somewhere. I can't take another year like this I wanna quit this evil drug cold turkey no matter what happens.
  7. Although I wouldn't give up I agree with OP. My therapist did the same thing. Shrink gives you poison. My family doctor doesn;t care about me at all. All he does he gives me meds that I ask for when I find them on google. He gave me by now in in the last 12 months I been seeing him some 50 different medications. I have a full box of them. But of course I don't use them togother and many will take buck to pharmacy or flush. The best thing would be seeing a psychologist but that's expensive. Usually never covered by any insurance. ahhh FCK life
  8. I am also very old. I will be turning 40 in early June. Just like Arthur I cannot help my family. Not because of money but because of my depression. I have libido issues and haven't had a woman in a decade. Stuck in this stupid city with nowhere to go. No friends. I can't even have them. I prefer to be alone until I feel better. If I ever do. Now I have physical problems and gained crazy weight. If I was at least 30 I would feel much better.
  9. There is 99.9% chance I will not be with a woman again.
  10. Zagor


    I made an appointmwnt with a therapist. $35 per session and the remaining $195 is paid by my insurance. How long on average does it take to start seeing benefits from CBT for depression n anxiety?
  11. Zagor


    I understand your frustration. I went through hell of stress when I was working. I was self employes for a while and that helped my declining health for a bit caused by work. I changed many jobs. The best advice I can give you is find a job that you like if possible. People go on disability for having anxiety. It all depends upon where you live. Waiting time is long but after I burned out from work I went on welfare until my disability app was approved.
  12. Atra thank you for your support. You are trying to calm me down while you are going through health issues your self. Thanks a lot. I ended up in ER again yesterday. The doctor upon exam said he thinks it is due to my medication taper. I wanted to leave but he insisted that I stay for blood work. On the end he didnt change his opinion. Well I still got turtle-back belly and pain. I went to Walmart and had to use one of those electric carts. When it comes to age I will just leave it at "if I get mentally normal maybe age will not matter".
  13. Zagor


    OK. What about if you are old, like myself, does it pay of to have a therapist? Also, some depression and or anxiety comes from nowhere. Just pure chemical imbalance. I have read that for "mental illness" medications only help about 20-40% and 40-60% + helps CBT. (for those who do get relief) but, according to one scientific journal I read is that CBT is completely useless for severe "depression". However, now that I have nothing to lose, except some money, I will go and see one. I saw one a year ago only for one session and never went back because of her qualifications which were different than I thought. But I really want first hand experience on when I cannot get out of bed and having a therapist.
  14. This age might be OK from someone else's point of view. I mean I missed a lot since 24 years old (and 12-19) and now chasing even physical health problems is horrific for me. If I was at least now mentally healthy I would say OK life is good and so on. I know it is out of my control but if I could not worry about everything that's out of my control I would be quite healthy. This is day 4 where I look like a barrel around my waist. It hurts. The doctors I saw had 2 different opinions. The "family guy" had no opinion just said it is constipation while a much better doctor at emergency room examined me but also wasn't sure why I got fluid in my small intestine. Could be a certain med. It's been about 2 years that I couldn't piss properly which came on suddenly and we thought it is due to a medication I take for pain even though I was suspicious how did it came all of a sudden? Now I can't do it at all nor do I get any urge to. Can't eat or drink. Can't lay on left or right side. Thanks for support Lucian and Mr BH
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