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Hidiety last won the day on August 12 2017

Hidiety had the most liked content!

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About Hidiety

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 05/26/1989

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Iowa, USA
  • Interests
    I am an avid Minecrafter. Lately I have been doing some home improvements and am enjoying that. I want to get into woodworking but currently don't have a space for it, or the funds for decent tools. There's probably more but those seem to be the big ones right now.

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. @Lostonesweeping I came to DF to try to find a place to vent and get advice, at first. Now I am trying to meet some people who understand what I'm dealing with and don't mind talking with me. I find being able to share what's going on in my head helps me to end the cycle of thoughts. It is tough to figure things out on my own sometimes. I need a voice to tell me I'm not being crazy every now and then.
  2. @ladysmurf I've been on BusPar a few weeks now. The past couple days the mood swings are definitely less frequent and not as strong. I also started the Fetzima at that time, but I can't say for sure if that is what mellowed me out. I don't now what you meant when you said "I definitely know some people that judge those type of jobs"
  3. @Atra Well thanks, that means a lot. You're probably right about my confidence with tools. I have been exposed to them quite a bit. Several members of my family were contractors, carpenters, and landscapers, so I was able to pick up a couple things growing up.
  4. @Atra It's really not as bad as you would think. The electrical was a bit nerve racking to me because I had to tie into the breaker. I had never done that before so I had supervision to make sure I didn't do anything dangerous. PEX tubing and shark bite fittings are a DIYers dream. As much as I love copper and rigid piping, soldering it all was out of my skill set a bit. I'll probably try it in the future. We are planning a pretty extensive remodel / update to the house so I know I will have the chance. As far as being anxious to try goes, I was. I took some time to educate myself before even deciding I was up to the task though. There are quite a few YouTube channels and forums to help.
  5. @GAJ123 I would like to give my feed back because this is a topic I can relate to. I would like some more info about your job though. What type of job, what gets to you about it, that sort of thing. From what you gave us in the OP though I can tell you that feeling trapped in a job that you hate is definitely depressing at best. It can make me feel completely hopeless when things get bad at work, that's for sure. What helps me is knowing that despite being very stressful at times, it is what got me to where I am today. Sounds like it might be hard to see the forest through the trees for you right now, which I totally get. If I could make a suggestion though, I'd say to try and think of where your life would be if you didn't have your job or a worse one. Gotta take the bad with the good, the good is just hard to see sometimes.
  6. @idkusername465 My copay was $50, as far as what the actual cost of the medication is, I don't know. My insurance wouldn't cover it at first but some how the doctor was able to convince them. I have been on a lot of different meds that just didn't work so we were kinda forced to try some of the newer drugs. My insurance is Aetna, which is through my work. If you are able to get you insurance to cover it there is a savings card that can knock the copay down to $40.
  7. @sober4life That is pretty much what I was thinking. When I was doing a bit of reading about it and it said that addiction wasn't really a thing for it I thought to myself, "it boosts dopamine, like every other addictive chemical". I was on clonazepam before this, and I never felt so moody on that.
  8. Hi @Lostonesweeping, for fun I generally just play Minecraft. I've been playing Fortnite lately because my laptop is slightly more powerful than a calculator and without Optifine I can't play Minecraft. I find that I really enjoy doing home improvements. I was off work for a month and ran new plumbing and electrical for my washer and dryer. I used to be really into paintball. I haven't done that in many years now though but would most definitely jump back into that boat. How about you? What are you in too, and what brings you to DF?
  9. Hey there, so I have been having crazy mood swings lately. My doctor has me taking BusPar twice a day and I am wondering if it could be the cause. My mood is all over the place. I'm content one minute, all but in tears the next, and then I'm snapping at people for no reason. This is annoying to me, I can't even imagine how my wife feels about it. I just started Fetzima yesterday but this problem started before then. I'm starting to feel like my wife is pulling away from me again. I knew this would happen when I started working, but to happen so quickly is what is bothering me the most I think. I don't really know how to bring this up and even if I do bring it up I know that it is unlikely to be a constructive conversation. That's what I got for now. Like the title says I kinda just want to talk so if you wanted to stray from the OP I'd be ok with that.
  10. So my insurance decided that they will cover Fetzima. I filled the script today and will take the first dose in the morning. I was wondering how you all feel about it and if you know of anything that my pharmacy can't read off the label. I find that I am feeling anxious about taking it. I went through so many meds in the past and I am not looking forward to figuring out side effects. I mentioned in another post that I wanted to talk to my doctor about tricyclics. I haven't had a chance to yet, this was prescribed before that post was made and the insurance worked on their own time to figure out if they would pay for it. That's all I got for now, thanks for reading.
  11. I went through 13 round of ECT. It did help for several weeks afterwards but the memory loss is still a problem today. I don't think I will ever get the memories back. My immediate side effects were a bad headache, fatigue, and jaw pain. My jaw felt like I had been clenching my teeth for hours. I guess one good thing I got out of it was that I found out that I am naturally resistant to anesthesia and they had to use a fair bit extra to keep me under. I feel like its good to have that in my record, in case I need a real surgery.
  12. I could go on and on about this topic but I consciously try to keep my mind off it. I'll say this though, when a racist idiot is what our country picks as its leader you know that the fecal matter will collide with a motorized air dispersal unit. ( censoring myself lol )
  13. So I went to work today. I after I did my stocking and the store opened I was told I needed to "do flowers". I'm not sure what exactly that means still but the issue was that right now that is an extremely congested and busy area. I worked there for about 20 - 30 minutes. I know it wasn't long but it was enough to make me on high alert. I was starting to sweat for no reason, my heart rate was higher than normal, and I was very easily aggravated. The front end supervisor came over to tell me that my GM himself was making me work on the front end. I put down the flowers I was trying to move and walk directly to him. He tells me I need to assist for so and so. I responded with an " alright, so is the plan to try and make me quit now? Does my doctors note really mean nothing?". He was a little stunned I think. He claimed he knew nothing about the situation so I had to explain what the issue is. When I tell him I can't work where it's crowded he kinda laughed and said " are you serious? You work at Costco!". I told him I know, but this is the reason I have only worked as a stocker, in the bakery, and in produce. He told me to swap with the guy who was tending to the trees. We have them in the area where the carts are so it's high traffic but unless it's raining people don't hang around so it doesn't get crowded much. After a few minutes he came out to tell me he looked at my doctors note. He told me that the only accommodation the need to make is a 10 minute break every 2 hours, and to go back to the doctor if I want more than that. The thing about the break is that we already have a break every 2 hours. When I am working up front it is the supervisors decision on when people go to break. So even if I needed to take a 10 minute break, the supervisor would decide if I could. If I told them that it's not up to them they would call the front end manager, who would have to confirm with a GM. All that while I'm already trying not to break down and trembling. I really, truly, feel like my job is at risk. Even worse, I feel like it's due to a lack of compassion or understanding from the people who have power over my employment. I was suspended for being absent last month. When I was talking with my GM he outright told me the "people just don't get sick that often". I have been hospitalized 6 times in the last 3 years. 4 for my mental health, twice for diabetes related illness. I generally don't feel well most days but I still make it to work. But wait! There's more! a good portion of the absences counted against me were supposed to be marked as intermittent FMLA. How ever, when they would be marked in the book they wouldn't be marked FMLA. This issue wasn't caused by one person (as far as I know) because different managers would take my calls. When it came time to re-up the FMLA I didn't. Yeah yeah I know, I wasn't in a good place at the time and didn't care about the future much. So what I am hoping you guys could help me with is A: ways to protect my job B: figure out if I'm being paranoid and management is actually just coincidentally malicious C: What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything? PS: As I was typing this, I realized that my willingness to do flowers might have made it seem like I just don't want to work the front end. While it's not my dream job, it is still my job if I am working there. I worked in flowers because I had never actually worked the area and I try to give everything a chance before I dismiss it.
  14. @Tears_Always I could definitely try to get a more precise explanation for them. I'm not sure if my manager has seen the forms but he seems to understand what's going on to some degree and is willing to work with me. I'll talk to my admin manager again and try to get another copy of the forms they need. She wasn't at work yesterday though so hopefully I see her today.
  15. I'd like to update this thread. I was asked to have my doctor fill out some forms to clarify my needs. So we filled it out and I turned it into my admin manager. She looked it over and turns to me and says that there is nothing that says I can't work on the front end. My doctor wrote that working in areas that have a lot of people or I would be boxed in are things I need to avoid. Since she didn't directly reference the front end that some how makes it an option for me to work there. I don't know if you have ever been to a Costco but if you haven't I'll explain. At my location we have a total of 12 registers. There is 2 and a half feet between them. Literally hundreds of people crowd into the area no matter what day of the week it is. Any logical person would understand that this is the exact situation that gets to me and shouldn't need to be directly referenced by someone who doesn't know how our store works to reference it. Today was my first day back to work after medical leave and I was lucky enough to avoid the front end today. Management was shuffled while I was gone so I have a different manager now. I talked to him about it and it sounds like he intends to let me stay in produce. The caveat to this is that if they ever get busy and decide they want me to come up front I can't say no. This happens regularly and often.
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