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Constant Challenge

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Everything posted by Constant Challenge

  1. the only person you can change is yourself. when others have an addiction you can give advice but if they don't want to change then they won't.
  2. both noise and smells are sensory issues for me. i hate that anyplace i have lived in a city people blast music so loud that it hurts.
  3. it sounds to me like you don't have a relationship with this person anymore. there are many places to find someone, local clubs, churches etc or find an online community where you can find someone with things in common as far as you have to love yourself first Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. Emotional Fitness You Don't Need to Love Yourself First Another's love can help you learn to love yourself Posted Jan 08, 2010 "There is a psychological myth going around that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The real truth is that many people learn to love themselves by first being loved by another. If you never had a loving family, it's more difficult to build healthy self-esteem. Appropriate affection from another person may be the magic touch you need to actually believe that you are loveable. When someone you admire gives his or her heart to you; it makes you feel cherished and in turn you learn to love yourself. I know a number of people who were only able to develop self-love after someone who made them feel worthwhile came into their lives. For many, this love blossomed into a healthy and life long relationship. For others, it was an experience that put them on a path to finding their true purpose in life." more in the article here https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
  4. they were extremely controlling and strict. i had not just a curfew to be in but i had to be in bed before 9pm until i was out of high school. they controlled what clothes i wore and my studies and even my friends. this set me up to be in a relationship with someone who was just as controlling and was abusive. i spoke to them very little after i came out to them, they did not want contact. now my mother is dead and i have no contact with my step-father
  5. it was difficult for me. i got training in programming because i could not finish college due to my mental illness and other things. then after working in the area for a bit a friend let me stay with him and his girlfriend while i looked for a job. took me less than two weeks in a better area (los angeles). my life has never been easy and i have made a whole lot of bad decisions but moving out was one of the good ones. (i moved out about two weeks shy of my 22nd birthday)
  6. my parents were like this also. i should have moved out sooner and that is what i suggest. also stand up for yourself and if they don't let you live your life cut them out of it
  7. i cannot be in shared living spaces. i am SEVERELY autistic and cannot handle being around people, noise or smells. this is why i have concluded that a trailer that i can take to boondocking camping sites is my only choice for survival. i am also certain that there are more vacant places in your city. there are over 5 empty homes for every homeless person in the states. they are just boarded up to drive up the prices on the slums that are being rented out.
  8. i was originally from california (the last city i lived in was fresno). i have now burned bridges and cannot rent anywhere so i will have to live in a trailer on the road until i can no longer take care of myself
  9. @Natasha1 thank you, the xanax should kick in soon
  10. i was trying to build something with two friends. they decided to change where it was going to happen and where they chose is hell - otherwise known as belize. it is 7am and sweat is running off me in sheets. to top it off i am the one paying for everything and their agreement was to make sure i had food i could eat. they are not keeping up their side of that bargain. unfortunately i am stuck since all of my friends in the states don't have a place for me to sleep while i save up money to get a truck and trailer to live in. i hate this horrible situation i am stuck in
  11. i am so angry i wish i could destroy the entire universe
  12. so, i am the only one? i knew it was rare but i did not know it was that rare.
  13. i have lived with depression and other things since i was in a relationship where i suffered violence (1989). while i doubt it ever went into remission exactly there have been times where it was not as severe. not sure if that is encouraging or not but it does mean that i have survived this long :)
  14. caring about or even visiting those you are genetically related to is not required in modern society. when they are toxic it is best to just cut all ties. my family was also toxic and abusive and it worked best for me to just find friends who actually knew how to love and accept me.
  15. if you really want a relationship with someone who is fine with no sex then join AVEN a site for assexuals. if all you want is to get laid find a doctor who will give you testosterone shots and check out craigslist
  16. i love math also, one of my favorite courses was statistics. as far as medications and depression. everyone is different. i have known people who only needed it for 6 months or so and then they were fine. others need it for years or even a lifetime. for me no medication ever has helped and i just live with my moods mostly being down and sometimes being horribly down.
  17. if you cannot talk to the doctor you have then you need to find a better doctor
  18. it is not really where i want to be but it is the best path that i could find. i tried to find other outs and places where i could couch surf while saving but my friends in the states could not accommodate me, this leaves me here and saving less and making it take a year. not ideal but i will be where i want to be by next july.
  19. it is really complicated. i am waiting out a year and saving to be able to buy a truck and trailer to live in while financing friends who want to build something, i cannot be more specific but i regret making several decisions over the past 5 years
  20. i am as frustrated as i have ever been in my life. it is as loud where i am staying as in the worst slum apartment i have ever lived in. earplugs and earmuff sound attenuators worn together barely lessen the sound, no way i am getting quiet here. and i have 298 days left of this garbage to live through.
  21. animals and nature work for me. a pet can help to be around animals. and finding a park to go to helped me when i lived in a city.
  22. don't hurt yourself. just start looking for a place to live away from her. the cheapest option is to find room mates but take my advice and interview them very carefully. some of my worst mistakes in life have been moving in with people that i did not know well enough and then finding out i had to pay everything and/or they were abusive. my best experiences have been living alone but that is VERY expensive. one option that i know friends have done well with is renting a room with having kitchen and bathroom access. you don't get much room but you are independent of family this way.
  23. not everyone has family that cares. mine range from not caring to preferring that i starve to death. at this point i do have food and shelter but there will be a change next june and i will have to rent a car to sleep in until i can buy one to sleep in.
  24. for panic deep breathing exercises helped me most for depression nothing chemical helps me, i have been tried on many withing every group and none ever relieved the depression. i found that taking walks and spending time in nature and away from people gave me the most relief. also talk therapy has helped me a lot.
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