kmn2612

Does everyone bipolar have problems with anger or is it just me? My doctor always asks me about my anger. I do tend to have a hair trigger temper. Sometimes it's worse than others. Is it really more of an anger issue? or is anger just a characteristic of bipolar? I know that when I get really stressed out, my anger seems to build like a pressure cooker and then I just blow a gasket. I can't seem to express anger in any way that is even remotely acceptable. I cannot do it. I totally freak out and I'm too loud and rude and I throw things and slam doors and drive my car too fast and anyone who tries to talk with me about it is an ***** and a moron. I guess that's not really your run-of-the-mill anger is it? So do any of my bipolar brethren out there have anger issues?

I am Bi-polar and ADD. I don't usually tell people because it frightens them and they end up treating me like an insect. I have a friend with whom I felt close enough to share it and recently I really didn't realize that I was as out of mind as I was and all of a sudden in the middle of the conversation he says "My God, you were crying 45 seconds ago and now your laughing and you're talking 90 miles an hour. And then he just stopped and didn't say another word. I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I had no idea. I got off the telephone as soon as possible because it was quite obvious that my behavior disturbed him, and I shouldn't be hurt because people who have never experienced it really don't understand, as much as they may think they do, they don't, I know that when I start acting weird that it scares people and then it scares me and nobody wants to be around me, WOULD YOU? And when I'm depressed, I am tedious, and demanding and pathetic and I want someone to hold me and tell me they love me and then I still can't see out of the black hole and I want them to tell me again that they love me and it's never enough and it's insane and they don't understand, and I want to be left alone and when they leave I want them to tell me they love me and it goes around and around and around. I hate it when I do this in front of people. I feel like a circus freak.

I am bi-polar and suffer terribly with isolating. I will go to the trouble of hiding my car so people won't know I'm at home. I don't want to answer the telephone, I really, really don't want to see any one. I am extremely negative and have the most negative conversations with myself that you've ever heard. I try to go to the store when I think the least number of people will be there. I have a little part time job where I stay with this elderly lady at night twice a week and I don't really understand it, but I suit up, put a smile on my face, communicate with others, look people in the face, etc. and do just fine and when I make it back home I collapse and go into my cave, my shell, my spider web. Any suggestions, tricks, head games for how I can get me out of the house. I know somebody out there is having the same problem.