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Annafairlady

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About Annafairlady

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  1. Annafairlady

    Make me an instrument of Your peace

    Hi BeyondWeary and thank you for reaching out. I can see you understand well how hard this is and I’m especially impressed by your narrative regarding the Prayer of St Francis. Suddenly it makes more sense to me. In terms of meds, I failed to mention that I have also been on mood stabilizers - Lamotragine (?) Lamictal (?) I don’t recall the names, but they were ineffective. Latuda isn’t on my long list of tried and failed meds so I’ll pick this up with my pdoc next visit scheduled for tomorrow morning. Maybe that will be the answer to my prayers and I’ll have you to thank for it. Thanks again
  2. Annafairlady

    Make me an instrument of Your peace

    Thank you Oscar. Very grateful for your insight.
  3. Annafairlady

    Make me an instrument of Your peace

    Thank you Atra. You’ve summed it all up so concisely. I’m looking for hope. If only I had some hope. Some faith. Despondent and despairing hardly describes this. Please stay with me. I feel d***h is the only way out. But I can’t leave my dogs - all I live for.
  4. Annafairlady

    Why why why?

    Thanks for response. Yes, sleep is the only time I feel any relief. I am so finished. I hope we both manage to find a way out of this pit.
  5. Whenever I come here the Prayer of St Francis comes to mind. Let me not seek so much to be comforted as to comfort... But I need more comforting than I can give. I’m so sorry. Is anyone else suffering from treatment resistant depression? My meds were changed once again: now on Neurotonin, Cilift, Alprazolam, Inderal. My anxiety is still through the roof to the extent that I am nauseous all the time. The depression is so bad I don’t know how much more I can handle. It’s been this bad for more than eighteen months, with meds offering no respite. In addition I am anhedonic, which makes everything even worse. I have complied with all the “rules” - getting up, doing things, using breathing techniques etc etc but all to no avail. I used to use methylphenidate and that gave me a psychological boost for the few hours it worked but that has also pooped on me and only increases anxiety. My question is, does anyone else suffer these debilitating effects of depression and anxiety and anhedonia? My nausea gets so bad I’ve even tried antiemetics yesterday. The reason this helped is it made me sleep but as soon as I woke up everything hit me again like a ton of bricks. Beyond blue, beyond desperate. This is not life or living. It is sheer hell. Anyone please? Please!
  6. Annafairlady

    Why why why?

    Hi one and all. After about 18 months of trying many different antidepressants and combos thereof, my pdoc has decided that it’s pointless being on drugs that are potentially doing more harm than good. And I agree. Fully. It’s been almost a month now and I’m finally almost through the worst of the withdrawals - brain zaps, etc. He now has me on alprazolam 4 times daily and has added Leponex in small divided dosages to control my intense anxiety, first and foremost. I’m very uneasy about taking the Leponex (I’m not schizophrenic at all) but I am complying nonetheless. Has anyone else who suffers from mdd and gad ever been on Leponex for this purpose? I really need your input please. I’m still majorly depressed and struggling and still finding that sleep (yes, all day every day if I don’t take methylphenidate to stimulate me) is the only relief I find. Of course sleeping solves nothing, as I wake up to face the same demons but then I simply take some more sleeping pills and go right back to its bliss. I have amazing dreams - I’m normal in them and “live” a normal life in them. It’s great and I guess this is how “normal” people feel all the time. As an aside, I think I may be addicted to sleep because it’s so comforting. The bliss of oblivion versus the hell of awareness...sleep wins every time. Maybe my brain is atrophying? Maybe this habit is inhibiting my recovery and return to a normal pattern? I mean, who in their right minds takes meds to sleep through the day (and the night as well, obviously)?! Long story short: I’m not keen on taking Leponex and I’m very despondent and terrified that this too shall Not pass. I’m depressed because I’m depressed and the only light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Treatment resistant depression? Anyone else? How do we cope? Depressed so can’t work so have no money so more depressed and the serpent keeps eating its tail. Help please please. Blessings and strength to all.
  7. Annafairlady

    Anxiety and nausea

    Hi Ladysmurf Thanks so much for responding. I do take betablockers - brand name here Inderal. But they don’t work. Over the past eighteen months I have for some unknown reason developed tolerance to that, as well as every other med I’m on :(
  8. Annafairlady

    Anxiety and nausea

    Hi Atra, thanks so much for your help and advice. Will try that now. Just wondering though about body temperature... I’m actually quite cold and trying to get warm under a wrap. I find that when I feel chilly, there’s a measure of comfort in that. Wonder if there’s any correlation. Thanks again for reaching out.
  9. Annafairlady

    Anxiety and nausea

    Hi Caring Thank you so much for your kind response. I am on new meds - they change regularly :( But this anxious nausea has been around a long time. I will certainly take your advice and get it checked. Thank you for your prayers. I need them! God bless Anna
  10. Hi there I have depression with extreme constant anxiety to the extent that the anxiety makes me feel horribly nauseous. Like 24/7 nauseous. But I can’t throw up. If anyone else’s anxiety is this bad, do you have any suggestions for relieving the nausea? In desperation earlier I tried bicarb (baking soda) but that didn’t really help. Most grateful for all opinions and feedback please!
  11. Annafairlady

    Sleep

    Thank you for understanding and encouragement.
  12. Annafairlady

    Sleep

    Thank you for your support. I am under a psychiatrist who is doing his best. But it’s even hard to get out of bed to get to him. How sad is that?
  13. Annafairlady

    Sleep

    Yes I’ve been researching ketamine but it is way out of my reach. I’m very weak physically as well from years of sleeping. Exercise is just not possible. I hate this. But no way out for me. Been on every med and combo from A to ZEE. Death must be better
  14. Annafairlady

    Sleep

    So you can relate? It’s a relief to hear. May I ask what got you out of it? And, what meds have you been on?
  15. Annafairlady

    Sleep

    Anhedonia- I hate the word. All I want to do is sleep CONSTANTLY. And I do sleep most of my (non) life away. Can anyone else relate?
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