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Everything posted by Nic1991

  1. I think you are right. There is so much pressure to look a certain way as well this is why I don't go out for walks when there are people around. People will judge me based on my appearance. I will try and think of ways to get exercise at home as its just too much effort to make myself look presentable enough right now.
  2. How does someone get out from rock bottom? I'm currently in a depressive cycle since a few months and I'm at rock bottom and I don't know where to start getting out of it. I'm currently just sat at home all day not really moving much or doing much and just feeling really tired and cold all the time. I have really low motivation and a short attention span.
  3. I'm trying to decide which kind of psychological/talking therapy i need. I have to go privately so i'll be paying for treatment myself. I am going to see my Dr to ask for their opinion tomorrow but i also wanted to get opinions from here also. Can anyone explain the benefits of a CBT therapist or psychologist or Inpatient treatment in a private hospital/clinic?
  4. Hi @velvetpuddles. I don't know if my advice will be of much help to you but i wanted to reply because i have been where you are with not eating much as i'm sure many others on this site have and i hope somebody may be able to offer you better advice then i can but i will try to help nonetheless. With regards to food, i know it can be hard to eat when you haven't been eating much and have no appetite but i believe the best thing to start out with would be some fresh fruit as it is more nutritious and easier to digest than bread or crackers so maybe try a small portion of that at first. Trying to eat little and often might be helpful, mixed nuts are a good option as is dried fruit, in small quantities. As you start to eat more regularly you should be able to move on to small meals, maybe a bowl of cereal or a protein shake to start with. What i have found is that when i eat less over a period of time i start to lose the feeling of hunger so if you start eating more calories and nutritious foods your appetite should come back naturally. If not i would recommend seeing a medical doctor or nutritionist. I hope this helps a little.
  5. I feel the same. Anxious about my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow.
  6. Hi, if you're taking a low dose (20mg) it should be ok to just stop it. If you are taking more than that it might be best to cut it down gradually. If you are worried you can stop it gradually by taking it one day and then skipping a day and then take it again before stopping it. This is just my advice from experience but it does not replace a doctors advice. I'm not sure if you already know this but usually medication takes a while (weeks/months) to kick in so if you havent noticed a difference right away then maybe you could stay on it a while longer....what did your doctor suggest that you do? Sometimes they reccommend increasing dosage or changing to another medication.
  7. @mrrd100 Hi, i just read your post and i can relate to so much of what you say. I have had social anxiety and depression since i was young. Its good that you are writing your thoughts/feelings down on this forum. Hopefully you will find what you are looking for. I think its good that you can go to therapy 3 times a week. I wish i had that, unfortunately im still waiting for professional help myself.
  8. @Crimson_Wings Thanks, i want to be positive but i find it hard since i cant think of a time where i was actually happy.
  9. In my case it is true. I dont do anything to help myself.
  10. @PoeticProse I appreciate your encouraging response and i have gained a bit of hope from your words so thankyou for that. The only thing i was worried about was wasting the doctors time rather than my own. I realise i have nothing to lose by seeking help.
  11. I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life and the only help i've had was medication which didnt really help. I've been like this since childhood. Always had negative thoughts and worried about a lot of things. Because it was mostly untreated (although i did try a short course of cbt) i feel that it has gotten worse over the years. I dont care about myself and i dont have much hope or drive to get better. My problem is that i've just had an assessment with a psychiatrist, and i feel like i should feel a little better and hopeful but i dont. I feel like i've left it too long to get help and im wasting his time. I just dont know how to have hope when i've had chronic depression as long as i can remember. I feel that its become a part of my personality.
  12. I have cats and 2 dogs, and yes they do help when i feel alone. I also know they would do fine without me as they have two other owners.
  13. I've been struggling to speak to my mum for a long time. Everytime i do it always goes the same way. She gets impatient with me if i take more than a few seconds to answer her questions. I know she doesnt understand depression but i feel like she doesnt even try to understand me. I feel like she doesn't have the time or patience to talk to me. It makes me feel like i dont matter and i really need the support.
  14. I think i'm ready to give up. I've been holding on for too long. I'm literally just surviving right now, not living. I don't even care enough to try harder. I'm not doing enough and i never have. I've always been lazy and weak. All i see is misery and suffering in my immediate future. I've let things get so bad that theres no hope left for me. I cant go through my life always envying others for what they have. I'm alone and always have been. It's too late for me. I dont want to struggle through life. I just want it to be over.
  15. thankyou for your replies @Camellia I'm so sorry you feel that way too. It's horrible. @ToGoFruit I'm not sure how much strength i do have left.
  16. i just really want to end it. I dont know what im waiting for. Nothing is going to change im just stuck. I have felt suicidal on a regular/daily basis my whole life. I remember thinking about methods to do it many times and it has been an ongoing thought on an almost daily basis. I have let my life go down the drain, ive missed out on so much and i will never get those years back. I have no friends. My siblings dont talk to me. My depression has an effect on all my relationships. I dont have anything to live for. I dont know why im still here. So many see suicide as wrong and preventable but for me its seems an inevitable thing which i have been putting off for many years. I dont want to live this life anymore. It is selfish of me to carry on living since i rely on others so much financially. I dont deserve to live and this is the truth. I have realised that my depressive thoughts are in fact rational due to my life circumstances. I dont care about myself and havent for years. I cant see a solution to my problems.
  17. @lonelyforeigner They didnt provide a reason for not admitting me and i was very confused after the assessment as the doctor just left without giving any reason or asking me to leave so i sat there waiting for him to come back and then realised he wasnt going to so i left. I guess i will look at some other hospitals but i did look at their website and im pretty sure they had a psych ward there. Maybe it was because the psychiatrist wasnt there at the time.
  18. @lonelyforeigner I told them as much as i could, including the thoughts and the plan, the nurse and doctor were caring but no help was offered apart from a crisis number so im on my own again. I could try another hospital but it would be a risk as the same thing could happen again so im not sure. Private hospitals are expensive and i would only be able to afford a weeks treatment and my doctor was not keen on the idea.
  19. @lonelyforeigner I did go and it was a complete disaster i was there for 4 hours and they just sent me away didnt even get to see a psychiatrist just a on call doctor.
  20. I'm really ashamed to admit this but i havent been able to get myself to the point of going to A&E yet and i'm not sure if i'll be able to force myself at any point soon. I know i need help though im just not sure what i need. I did go to see a doctor and she said what i assumed she would about it, that they might just send me away again if they have no beds available and i think that would make me worse if that happened. I also dont like talking to professionals as i have had bad experiences in the past where i have felt like they dont care or have felt patronised by them.
  21. I'm not sure im going to bother trying to get help. Getting better seems pointless right now when i have nothing to show for my life and i feel like things will always be like this. Its been going on too long and i am a lost cause. I just need to end my suffering.
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