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About Nic1991

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  1. Plans

    I'm not sure im going to bother trying to get help. Getting better seems pointless right now when i have nothing to show for my life and i feel like things will always be like this. Its been going on too long and i am a lost cause. I just need to end my suffering.
  2. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Thanks CoolCat X
  3. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Thankyou that means alot xx
  4. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I know most people dont understand i just wish i had someone to talk to regularly who has been through something similar. I feel like i bother people just by trying to talk to them sometimes
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Feeling worthless. Lonely. Emotionally empty and numb. Sad about the state of my life and how i have wasted what should have been the best years. So many mistakes and regrets. Feeling hopeless about things ever getting better. Wish somebody understood me.
  6. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Feeling hopeless even though i have an appointment to start CBT on wednesday.
  7. Plans

    @lonelyforeigner @Epictetus I just looked up what happens if a suicidal person goes to a hospital's A&E department in the UK and most people have said that they make you wait hours to be assessed by a psychiatrist and then will usually send you away unless in exceptional circumstances. I'm sure they would do that to me because i dont self harm and this means i achieved nothing since im already waiting to get help.
  8. Plans

    I've been having suicidal thoughts everyday for the past two weeks, with a plan of how to do it. I havent told anyone about this but my family know about my depression. I have mentioned my suicidal thoughts to family members but they didnt take me seriously. They say they care about me but they wont even talk to me about my depression. I havent told medical professionals this either as whenever i have been asked if i have a plan i get uncomfortable and lie to them and say that i have the thoughts but have no plan in place. I dont know why but i always get defensive when they ask those questions as if i dont trust them but maybe this is why i have had to wait so long for treatment in the past. I have appointments booked for a mental health assessment and to start CBT in the next couple of weeks but i am worried that i feel so low that i wont get much out of them or worse not even show up. I dont really know why im writing this but im just extremely confused and frustrated with everything.
  9. Not eating

    Why do i go the whole day without eating then in the evening when i am bored i eat? Ive had this habit for months and i dont know how to stop it. I feel so tired and i try to sleep but i cant so i get up and want to eat something and im not even hungry.
  10. What's On Your Mind Right Now?

    When will i start caring about myself?
  11. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    @salparadise6132 Thankyou for your words. I will try to think more like that and stop caring what people think all the time.
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I'm constantly self sabotaging. I have such low self-esteem. I feel like people are judging me all the time. All i eat is crap sugary and processed foods. I feel like my only friend has given up on me. I feel alone and helpless. I dont care about myself anymore.
  13. Nothing is helping

    thankyou both for your replies. @uncertain1 I was given a weeks course of zopiclone from my doctor a while ago.I dont think they like to prescribe sleeping pills for long term use as when i went back she didnt give me any more. I'm not sure if they helped that much either. I suspect i have a sleep debt from weeks/months of not enough sleep so i feel quite down about whether i would be able to catch up on all that lost sleep.
  14. Nothing is helping

    @uncertain1 This has been going on a really long time which is why i feel i can hardly function right now. I get 5 hours if im lucky. I cant nap during the day either, i have tried many times. I dont know if they sell Benzos in the UK. I take a multivitamin most days.
  15. Nothing is helping

    Is it possible for therapy to work when you're not looking after yourself? What comes first, self care or talking treatments? Maybe thats where im going wrong, why i feel like therapy isnt working, because im not eating or sleeping properly? In that case should i stop treatment until i feel ok again? Please help im really struggling