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ffar

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  1. Thank you Pharaoh. I like your respond. I was bit dishonest about point nr 3 you made. Of course it is good to do physical activity, be in shape etc. It is not solution for situation I was talking about, but at least it is not “stay were you are, all is good”. I do karate, taekwondo and boxing. So I do sport, I don’t have athletic shape but I am fit. I don’t think also I bad looking, actually I think I am quite handsome. I am not the virgin, but I am very inexperience as well. My confidence as a lover is close to 0. I also could have some “one night stands” or have sex with someone I was not attracted to, but it is not about sex. I was told, and I truly hoped that it is right thing, to wait for “right person” is right thing to do. All I can say that in my case it was mistake. My knowledge, experience about relationship and sex is on level of 15 years old… And I don’t buy this lie anymore that women would love to be my teacher. Some kind of extra points for “being able to refuse have sex in past”. It is crap and lie. At work, in my department, there was a girl, who slept with almost all men. Sometime later I was told, that during one party(I was not on it), she admitted that she slept with all men but me. It is not about sleeping but about being so ******** in communication with girls, reading sings, being able to flirt, that can transform into something more. It may be cute and nice, but not when you are 30! She said to me once, that I am good person. I think she was honest with her opinion. But so what? How worth is saying that if there is nothing more behind it? I even did not come close to have chance to sleep with her and being able to refuse? Btw. She is now in happy married relationship with one of this “bad boy”. I always wanted loving relationship, but this is not for everyone. And it disgust me that people say “wait for right person” HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS PERSON WILL EVER SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE!?? HOW?? HOW?? HOW??? Or how fun is to start having sex life late in life... No fun, and a lot of experience is missed and you will never be able to catch up things. How you can possible say that “you did not miss anything”? How about holding hands during school parties, celebrate new years together, How about sex life, when you were young and beautiful, when both of you were inexperience and you were together discovering sex life with each other, How about the fact that men libido gets lower with age and some men even have ED at some point because of age, Having 30 on your shoulder and almost no experience IS not attractive and not fine. And missed the boat is not fine and not alright like CBT psychologists try to lie you and other people who lie themselves.
  2. Thank you. I hope I will have chance and good heart admin, won't block my topic. I wish to hear some feedbacks, shame not many answered.
  3. Part 1: With hope I am aswering now, to preople who resopnd to me. Thank you very much for respond. And also "special" thanks to you admin, who close subject of mine, not for even my mistake… But because someone else. Instead of took action and deal with person who he/she had problem with, decided to close whole discussion. Thank you very much for that. Your action were as much usless as advices you are probably giving people who asking for help. Your behavior was disgusting and disrespectful, you proof my point that most people don’t care. You did not like insulting? Well your action insulted me. Be aware of that and shame on you. @nirah007 Thank you for respond. I must say i like this post. You know what is sad? That people who did give that kind of advice somehow are gone now. They don't even want to respond for arguments against. Where are this wise people now, huh? What is also sad, that there was no people around like your, when i needed them. QUOTE: Would you have been able to achive almost everything u wanted, and still keep going if you had start escort at 18? Would u hav gotten a Decend car on your own, a motorcyle, a second citzenship if u had taken PUA lessons? Would u hav made so much and gotten your apartment if u had listened to other advice? Would u hav known CBT will not work for u, when it had worked for many other people before u and after u? You are very right, I would probably not be in the same place, where I am now, if I start escort at 18, or did other things, like PUA schools. What i was trying to say, that it was not what i truly wanted. QUOTE: "You have a friend who is happy person after he found his love of life. I have a friend who is divorced after he thought he found his love of his life. Life balances out, it's not always 100% you can find the love of your life. It is perseverance to get through life" Well it was argument against idea, that you need to be happy first or otherwise you will never find relationship or relationship is not going to make you happy person. Because of this example, i prove it is not truth statement. @June322 Perhaps I did not make myself clear. Let me specify 1) When they said be yourself they said stay where you are, because every single action was automaticlly made for reason of wanting find a girl, feel more atractive etc, and that was already FAKE for them. I heard a lot of times, "there is a lot of girls who like shy men, I am one of them" and other bla bla blass... like "I would not mind inexpirience men". 2) No.You got my whole point wrong. What I am saying, that there are cases where people won't find partner/love of their life no matter what. Advice was to wait, don't change, stay where you are because, because every one will find someone no matter what. 3) Thank you for admiting that. Finally we agree on something. Of course you can find someone at the age 70. But that was not really my point. And of course I am not happy with idea of having first relationship at age of 80... And saying stuff like: "You did not miss anything" is LIE LIE AND AGAIN LIE. I point out things that i miss out, and all you said is "I dont think its all that like others make it out to be". This is lazy answer, and can be said to blind person "It is not big deal, to not being able to see". So basicly if you can't have it, lie yourself that it is not big deal. Thank you very much. 4) Agree on one part. But there is other side of the coin on this statement. What for, you need realtionship, girlfriend, sex, love... be happy with youtself. Do you know where I am getting up? 5) That was not my attitude from the begining. It is a conclusion after years of fail on therapy. But this advice "go for CBT" is thouing like candy to every single problem person have. So you are wrong. 6) I achived a lot of material goods. 2 apartments, soon mayby third, great motorcycle, and in next year second citizenship.... And pleace, don't tell me now that i focus on it to much... 7) That's truth. QUOTE: This is 100% not true . Reading all this it honestly sounds like you have various end of deep rooted issues that have prevented you from being open to relationship and being so negative and close minded about everything does not help. But I understand your frustattion and many of us are on the same boat with you. A lot of people dont experience young love or have sexual encounters at a young age and honestly I dont think its all that like others make it out to be. Dont let years of rejection and lack of experience hold you back from being open to it and remember that letting the anger built up usually keeps us from experiencing any of those things you desire because were get too filled with resentment It is very true. And you are dishonest. I am on of that person, who advices like that, lead to be destroyed and sucidle. So your 100% is already gone.
  4. I would start escort from 18. I would stay on medication until now and never ever went for CBT. Also I would took PUA lessons. Funny I was told DON’T DO THEM, THERE IS SOMEONE FOR YOU. I was stupid to listen this lies. That is not true. I have friend who is happy person after he found his love of life(hopefully. I wish them all best).
  5. They knew very well, I was(am) mentally crashed. And yet those advices were given to me. I lost years of naive faith. I hate myself for that. I should start escorts when at least I would have sex. I was told that no one will ever want me if I will use escort. So what no one want me anyway and I lost at least 10 years of experience... Let alone dating. Ehh... I wish to have strength to **** myself.
  6. When I was younger(16+) I knew that something is not ok with my personality. Other people did not find me interesting, I had few friends and no girl were interested in me. When I turn 18 my whole mental health collapsed and started looking for help. I beg, cried for help… from this 11 years of experience with “advices” that were given to me I can easly tell, it was very disgusting lie that harm people. I believe in them but I end up to be 29 old single men, who never had a girlfriend. Problem is that those lies are told nowadays to lonely people so I am about to expose them. 1) Be yourself, love will find you one day…- Yes right. Stay shy, introvert, beta-male, and girl will enter into yourlife because: 2) Everyone will find someone, there is someone for everyone. – I was so stupid. I hate myself so much for believing in this lie, you have no idea. 3) Age does not matter. Oh yes… I can see already how happy you are, when your 18 yars old daughter is telling you that she will have baby with 70 old fart and telling you that it is love. 4) You need love yourself firs. – Well of course low mood is not attractive, but if you are so happy to be virgin whole life, be happy with just being yourself, what for is to going out of the home if you can just sit and experience happiness by it’s own…What for enter relationship? What for start to have family? 5) Get therapy – Oh yes… this magicians, psychologists, CBT magic cure program, that will heal you. Total lie. I was having very long therapy of CBT and it does nothing. At best it will convince you that you don’t like something with in fact you do. It will lead you to not doing anything about problem because “it is all fine” nonsense. 6) Focus on school, job, love will find you when you are not looking for it – Well I did focus on job, did focus on studies and nothing happened besides focusing on it. 7) Do sport, hit the gym – I do 3 types of martial arts, play a lot of football, and it did not change my mood. Worst part of all is that “you did not lose anything”. That is pathetic. Oh yes I did lose a lot. - I lost teen love, innocent young love, when people are getting skills in dating, and communications. - I was playing football competition some time ago and every time we finished one game, to all my fiends from team girlfriend was waiting for them, support them, give them a drink, - All new year parties and all others, I spent them alone, while others had fun with their love… - Not talking about sex, and sexual experience. You may lie that it does not matter, but yes it does. It does to me. I will never be able to experience young sex as teenager, sex with young, end teens-early 20s old girl, (now I am waiting for name calls for me being stupid of wanting that by people who had it)… If you ever gave that kind of advice to anyone just remember, that you gave advice that lead people to be destroyed, and make him suicide. Thank you very much
  7. Hi. Thank you for respond. I don't thing about PUA tricks as empirical science anyway, rather psycholgical art, something like intterogating suspect, and tricks they use. What this PUA have is confidence with woman. They can deal with rejection, don't afreid to ask out etc. Maybe right that this man i am talking about has this "fake confidence"(at the same time i would like to understand what it means have true confidecne), actually i am pretty sure that if he would lose his looks and material goods he would get low, but you how can you tell that all of this PUA have this "fake confidence"? You are wrong when you are talking about "few young woman", because it was not few but hell lot of them, and their age was between 18-32, and again they were not all bimbos, but nice girls, who i truly wanted to meet them better. Suprice is that almost all the time it tourns out that this dude already "had" them. Myself and at the end I finished as a male friend... I know his present girfriend. Very nice, polite girl, we talk quite a lot at work, she even forgive him when he coutch him in their bed with other girl. She is well educaded and 27. Very good looking and she could easly find another men if not him. Relationships are harder nowadays anyway. They are a lot of honest, good people out there who can't find or build good partnership/relationship. Their relationships are not much different from those PUA hunters anyway. You confused prime with woman's one. Male is quite opposite. I tried to lie myself as well that prime years are befor me, but i need to be honest that for men prime ends at 25 at least from biological point of view. And in my case, I am quite older already and like i said, I aged badly... few familly dramas did not help in last 2 years... but still. Thanks for nice words about online. I truly believed in it, this was kind of my "last hope" and it burn out. I would like someone who is "down to earth", you can never know anyway untill you will meet her. Never wanted party girl...
  8. I don't think I am total looser, In fact i was able to achive almost everything i wanted, and still keep going. Decend car, motorcyle, second citzenship are on the way, but I am an absolut looser if it comes for confidence with woman, being atractive to girls... I have some female friends, but i that's all who I am. A friend, nothing more. Always end up in friendzone :/ If it comes for PUA from my expirience and observation I can tell with absolutle conficence that all girls will tell that they don't like PUA or hate this type of men, and then they do differently. I work with man who is very good looking, confident with girls, quite silly if comes for education/knowlage, drive black BMW, and slept almost with all girls he was hitting on. I know most of that girls and they all were saying they hate this type of men, but yet he slep with them. And don't ask me, from where I know... Like i said, i know most of them. Yehh... Even when i was focus on work, saveing money for apartment, on back of my head i remembered advices and words like, "you are still young", "focus on work and love will find you"... and end up with "accept" being lonely, and lie myself that i am happy about it. Lonely days, lonely weekends, christmas, no family, no kids, no even sex. And i lost my prime years, youth... Don't get my wrong i do find a lot of positive things in not being in relatioship, hovever it is all vain. Seeing younger couples, much more confident in that area... being not expirience in sex, that all rubish :/ SO painfull only increse my sucide thougs... Online dating... i tried that too. Maybe it was not in best time in my life, but still it was more fail then succses. Ehh rubish :/
  9. Ehh... Sucide thougs came back and are stronger and stronger. When i was 18 i knew that dating will be hard :( Low self estern, very low confidence... I cried for help for years, medication, psychotherapy(total BS - imo), hypnotherapy, typong on boards. Most of respnse were like: - you are still young love will find you, - focus on yourself, - get a job, focus on carrier, you will find love when you are not looking for it, - get a hobby, - if you don't love yourself, no one will etc, etc... guess what? Years passed and nothing really happened. Yes i did focus on carrier, and i achiverd quite well. 2 decend apartments, i have hobby - 2 types of martial arts + boxing... I am still going to have second citinzenship in few years, black belt in Taekwondo and Karate will achive probably in this year at least i will have an exams. My confidcence?? I am confindente almost in every aspect of life. I don't do clubbing(i have no friends to go out anyway), don't drink, smoke, never any drugs... Yet, if it comes for woman, I am total looser. No aproach skills, fear of rejection, and end up being alone in almost 30... No that time I aged badly, get grey and my hair have no more teen density, so look as it was no great but decend is no more helpful... I think i like myself anyway I did good in a lot of area, but yet i have this emptiness and no point of living. I was telling myself i will never use escort, but now i am not so sure. Since i can;t have relationship at least i will have sex. When i was 24 maybe BS like "you are still young" or "love will find you" was alright to hear... but not when I am almost 30. My sucide thougs came back :/ And that's not good. They are stronger then ever. I feel hopless and desperate for being such a looser if it comes for girls.
  10. Thing is that I noticed also that I am getting weaker and weaker if it comes to being able to cope with that. Suicide thoughts came back and as long as I never had problem with reject drinking, smoking or taking drugs, I catch myself on thinking like “why not to try”… I know that’s something is wrong happening :/
  11. It still looks like to me, that he felt pressure about it. Let's face it you are getting in age when woman wants to have children. However it does not sounds like non saving situation, where you can’t go back to each other.
  12. I think that your already ex is not finding himself as father and he feels like he is not going to for long time yet. And because you already thinking about being mom that information overwhelmed him and he believe deeply that this is not kind of life he wants to have soon.
  13. At age 13 I would not even consider this as relationship/girlfriend. Sorry for being honest. I don’t know if I have so called “romantic image of love” I am fully aware that it is not that. I enjoy my freedom and I need some space for myself as well. At the moment season is coming so I will be busy at work, with sucks but I can’t help it much. I am not saying that girlfriend is going to fix all my problems, it is not like that. It is more about the fact that I failed in that area totally. Best years of my life if it comes for sex or even relationship are over and I will never get them back. I can’t cope being aware of that failure and that makes my thoughts. It is this part of life with does not exist and I miss that. I agree about what you said about girls at some point in life(age). One thing you missed that even if there is girl at that age, she will be focused more about having kids quick rather then having full long relationship before with you. Planty of happy(as f***) stories where someone finaly find girlfriend at old age and not even a year after they are marriage and parents. That is desperation not love. I don’t buy this crap. When girl who is in sexual relationship reject you because you are too old and yet you are less experience then her it is total failure. About your philosophy of knowing things, it is common in fact. I don't know what you mean by "fixing myself" but thank you. Apathic sounds quite right btw, yet i used to be polite, now I am rude.
  14. Thank you. I don't think it is placebo anyway. I did some research and it turns out that I was taking for long time original one when I was in my country. When I was perscripted in UK I had as I written Venlalic and something changed... for worse. Will see how this one will work.
  15. I am sorry but I am total puzzeld with this. How to spot with one is generic and with one is brand one?? I use to take drug named Venlalic XR and today i was given Effexor XR by Pfizer. Is this by Pfizer oryginal brand Effexor?
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