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uncertain1

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  1. Thanks
    uncertain1 reacted to samadhiSheol in Indecision   
    Sound advice. Thanks for that, @uncertain1.
  2. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to JessiesMom in Today 3   
    It seems like you have so much on your plate that you rarely have time to rest and recuperate and reset. When is the last time you took a vacation? If you are anything like me, the answer will be something like, "What is a vacation?"  I broke me leg a while back, had surgery on Thursday and was back at work on Monday. I am not sure if that is stupid or crazy - maybe both.
    I also have 3 kids, so I understand the constant pressure that they put you under. And the amount of homework, extra projects they have make me wonder if the schools understand that we parents have lives and jobs besides helping our kids with their school work. 
    Add to that the job stress and it no wonder you are close to a breakdown. I would recommend trying to take a vacation or a leave of absence of some sort to allow you the time you need to sleep and deal with what is going on. I don't know if you are currently seeing a therapist - but if not get one.
    I quoted you comment above - because something like this is a question I have asked myself for years. So many times I see people saying, you have to get back to your authentic self - and my question is - ok, can you tell me who the heck she is. Was there some person I was intended to be when I was concieved? If so, how does the nuture part of the equation come into play? Does that person even still exist - or has she been ground to powder by years of having to live in the world as it is? It is exhausting.
    Add to that the fact that I have gone from catholic to wicca to methodist - and from conservative to pretty darn liberal - was the catholic conservative my authentic self? Or the wicca conservative? Or the methodist conservative? or the current progressive christian liberal? Or something else entirely? Who the hell knows?
    Basically, for me, I have come to this place. Whoever the self that I was meant to be when I was concieved was - she is not here and is not really relevant. I am who I am today - but I may not be that person tomorrow or next week or next year. For me it is better to accept that change is a part of my self, as much as anything else. I mean - a few weeks ago I was the mother of one adult and two kids - then my son turned 18 - and now suddenly I have two adult male children and the Pink Princess of Langford Park (that is my daughter). 
    Make sure to take care of yourself - you are important and deserve your attention as much as your kids and you clients.
  3. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to gandolfication in Today 3   
    As much as I know JD (and everyone I know here), this is true.  No one here deserves the guilt, shame, and condemnation or the self loathing we feel and think toward ourselves.  We know that.  CBT tells us it is simple cognitive dissonance that can be corrected by careful (arduous) work...most of us have experienced that sometimes it can.
    Though it's not total, or permanent.  It keeps coming back, constantly, with vengeance.   One of the self-acceptance articles I read that I think is really great, recounts a French expression, tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner, which translates as, 'to understand all, is to forgive all.'  The author cites it to support the proposition that we can use that to remember that whatever we think we have done that is so terrible, is forgiven, if we ever needed forgiveness in the first place.
    But am I able to remember this moment by moment, and live by it?  no.  In fact, even now, I am destroying myself internally over the inability to manage anxiety and stop procrastinating...the same thing that has ruined every job and in many ways my life...
    It isn't what I don't know.  It's what I do and don't do.
    That puts me in despair. 
  4. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from JD4010 in Indecision   
    I'd say find a Jungian therapist. Agreed that it sucks to tell your story again, but it doesn't have to be all at once. Just see if you connect with the person (that's the most important anyway). Seems it could feed your interest, which also helps well being. My last therapist and I spent most of our sessions talking about nature of mind, science, and other shared interests. I asked for help when I  recognized that I needed to and he checked in when he saw something. It was wonderful. 
  5. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Sophy in Today 3   
    Same here. Hubby says I can find a way to blame myself for any event that hapens to anyone, anywhere. So, I am  sorry about all the bad things in the world 😉 I wonder if feeling some healthy level of anger is useful (for example, to motivate one to fight some injustice or to improve one's racquetball game)
     I'm thinking now of some earlier discussions of self-worth on one of gandolf's threads. From what I know, you *deserve* to feel good. To consider *your* needs. It doesn't seem your ex should control your life forever. Have you considered how you'd advise others? 
    Maybe I'm completely wrong. Just thinking of how much harm we've done to ourselves over the decades. But that's not entirely our fault, right?
  6. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Indecision   
    I'd say find a Jungian therapist. Agreed that it sucks to tell your story again, but it doesn't have to be all at once. Just see if you connect with the person (that's the most important anyway). Seems it could feed your interest, which also helps well being. My last therapist and I spent most of our sessions talking about nature of mind, science, and other shared interests. I asked for help when I  recognized that I needed to and he checked in when he saw something. It was wonderful. 
  7. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Sophy in Today 3   
    What's got you in the rut? I'm guessing work and finances are big contributors. When you talk about things that interest you, like sci-fi, it seems you light up. Whatever part of the "real you" that we see on DF is kind, compassionate, intelligent, and funny. How can we help? 
  8. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to samadhiSheol in Indecision   
    Nice one Oscar! 
    But seriously, better to be Jung at heart than having deep-Freud brains..
     
    I suppose I am fairing better, though in a cynical and pessimistic sense.. still misanthropic though. I just see us humans as crass and impossible as a collective.
    I have come to believe that the notion of a “core-self”, a “self” beyond thinking, feeling and sensing, is as much fabrication as anything else. Doesn’t perhaps sit very well with the Jungian definition of Self vs. ego..or perhaps it does. Go figure. I think it’s in our nature to have a multitude of “me”s.
     
     
     
  9. Thanks
    uncertain1 reacted to gandolfication in Today 3   
    Oh, I found out why the Today 2 page was suspended...it was that the pictures I'd been posting in line slow down and goof up the servers.
    So I read the TOS and figured out how to use the gallery, and am doing that now.  I just wanted to pass on in case anyone else is like me, and technologically stubborn to change.
  10. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to Sophy in Today 3   
    I would say the process of becoming your true self is every bit as scary, challenging, difficult, intimidating as coming out is, if you are gay.
    It's the same process, IMO.
    Your real self is what people don't want to see/ hear/ know.
    (Except for the tiny handful of people that truly like you as you are.)
    Most people are like "OMG please no"
    So being your true self takes the same kind of courage and willingness to sacrifice things like comfort/ superficial acceptance... to follow your own, true journey, as coming out does.
  11. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to Sophy in Today 3   
    Well, you'd better not inconvenience other people, right...? 😉
    Course it's a huuuuuuuuuuge f*cking inconvenience for others 😄
    I've never copped more flack for anything, in my entire life.
    Was it still worth it?
    YES
    Huge f*cking yes
    Makes life worth living 😉
  12. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to Sophy in Today 3   
    Check out the youtube videos "Introduction to Carl Jung - The Psyche, Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious" and "Introduction to Carl Jung - Individuation, the Persona, the Shadow, and the Self" by Academy of Ideas for a good summary/ reminder of Jungian first principles... The process of individuation/ self-realisation is what your question refers to... It's a deeply valuable, rewarding but also complex, challenging and confronting process. (Most people are stuck in their (societal) persona... It's a huge impediment to being/ becoming/ regaining your true self)
  13. Like
    uncertain1 reacted to Tears_Always in Today 3   
    @gandolfication even if you don't care about your health for yourself please care for your children. You posted that you were able to care for and help them that is huge. Get tested for sleep apnea then you can wear the "cool" mask. 
  14. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Tears_Always in Today 3   
    Watched the sunrise come up over the heavily wooded hills. I've slept until almost 6:00 a.m. 2 days in a row. I seriously doubt I'd ever be a country gal, but maybe nature (and no blue light from electronics) is good for helping one sleep. Miss the cats though. Hugs to all of you. 
  15. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Tears_Always in Today 3   
    Argh...woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Did any of you get a message from new member Honeyflower inviting you to click a link to some site? (I'm going to delete it). 
    Hope everyone is doing ok. Taking a road trip to see friends for a few days. First time to take the dog. Cat sitter comes twice a day for my Marvin and the alley cats, but Marvin is such a love junky it's hard to leave him. I guess they have Internet in Arkansas (I'm joking, but I  am packing some vegan food).
     
  16. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Tears_Always in Today 3   
    I completely understand the feeling. However, you have a fan club to consider ;) I'm reading " Why We Sleep" by neuroscientist  Matthew Walker. (There are YouTube videos too). Meds, mental illness, and sleep interweave in complex ways, as you know. I just want you to feel better. 
    (Didn't mean to imply apnea could be detected by bloodwork; 2 separate thoughts. Tried to take shortcut ... I'm slow on the phone)
  17. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Tears_Always in Today 3   
    @gandolfication,  when's the last time you had a physical with blood work? I recall  @Sophy suggesting some tests, e.g. thyroid function. You're young, but is there any chance you could have sleep apnea? I just has a temporary  crown "sanded down" and slept past 4:00 a.m. for the 1st time in over a month. 
  18. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from gandolfication in Today 3   
    Watched the sunrise come up over the heavily wooded hills. I've slept until almost 6:00 a.m. 2 days in a row. I seriously doubt I'd ever be a country gal, but maybe nature (and no blue light from electronics) is good for helping one sleep. Miss the cats though. Hugs to all of you. 
  19. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from nojoy in Today 3   
    Argh...woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Did any of you get a message from new member Honeyflower inviting you to click a link to some site? (I'm going to delete it). 
    Hope everyone is doing ok. Taking a road trip to see friends for a few days. First time to take the dog. Cat sitter comes twice a day for my Marvin and the alley cats, but Marvin is such a love junky it's hard to leave him. I guess they have Internet in Arkansas (I'm joking, but I  am packing some vegan food).
     
  20. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from nojoy in Today 3   
    Watched the sunrise come up over the heavily wooded hills. I've slept until almost 6:00 a.m. 2 days in a row. I seriously doubt I'd ever be a country gal, but maybe nature (and no blue light from electronics) is good for helping one sleep. Miss the cats though. Hugs to all of you. 
  21. Haha
    uncertain1 reacted to gandolfication in Today 3   
    didn't see the spammy message.  Have fun on the trip, even though it's to Arkansas.  
  22. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from gandolfication in Today 3   
    Argh...woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Did any of you get a message from new member Honeyflower inviting you to click a link to some site? (I'm going to delete it). 
    Hope everyone is doing ok. Taking a road trip to see friends for a few days. First time to take the dog. Cat sitter comes twice a day for my Marvin and the alley cats, but Marvin is such a love junky it's hard to leave him. I guess they have Internet in Arkansas (I'm joking, but I  am packing some vegan food).
     
  23. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from Sophy in Today 3   
    Argh...woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Did any of you get a message from new member Honeyflower inviting you to click a link to some site? (I'm going to delete it). 
    Hope everyone is doing ok. Taking a road trip to see friends for a few days. First time to take the dog. Cat sitter comes twice a day for my Marvin and the alley cats, but Marvin is such a love junky it's hard to leave him. I guess they have Internet in Arkansas (I'm joking, but I  am packing some vegan food).
     
  24. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from LonelyHiker in Today 3   
    I completely understand the feeling. However, you have a fan club to consider ;) I'm reading " Why We Sleep" by neuroscientist  Matthew Walker. (There are YouTube videos too). Meds, mental illness, and sleep interweave in complex ways, as you know. I just want you to feel better. 
    (Didn't mean to imply apnea could be detected by bloodwork; 2 separate thoughts. Tried to take shortcut ... I'm slow on the phone)
  25. Like
    uncertain1 got a reaction from gandolfication in Today 3   
    I completely understand the feeling. However, you have a fan club to consider ;) I'm reading " Why We Sleep" by neuroscientist  Matthew Walker. (There are YouTube videos too). Meds, mental illness, and sleep interweave in complex ways, as you know. I just want you to feel better. 
    (Didn't mean to imply apnea could be detected by bloodwork; 2 separate thoughts. Tried to take shortcut ... I'm slow on the phone)
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