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About uncertain1

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    Senior Member

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  • Interests
    animal welfare, cosmology, classic rock and new age music

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  1. Watched the sunrise come up over the heavily wooded hills. I've slept until almost 6:00 a.m. 2 days in a row. I seriously doubt I'd ever be a country gal, but maybe nature (and no blue light from electronics) is good for helping one sleep. Miss the cats though. Hugs to all of you.
  2. Argh...woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Did any of you get a message from new member Honeyflower inviting you to click a link to some site? (I'm going to delete it). Hope everyone is doing ok. Taking a road trip to see friends for a few days. First time to take the dog. Cat sitter comes twice a day for my Marvin and the alley cats, but Marvin is such a love junky it's hard to leave him. I guess they have Internet in Arkansas (I'm joking, but I am packing some vegan food).
  3. I completely understand the feeling. However, you have a fan club to consider ;) I'm reading " Why We Sleep" by neuroscientist Matthew Walker. (There are YouTube videos too). Meds, mental illness, and sleep interweave in complex ways, as you know. I just want you to feel better. (Didn't mean to imply apnea could be detected by bloodwork; 2 separate thoughts. Tried to take shortcut ... I'm slow on the phone)
  4. @gandolfication, when's the last time you had a physical with blood work? I recall @Sophy suggesting some tests, e.g. thyroid function. You're young, but is there any chance you could have sleep apnea? I just has a temporary crown "sanded down" and slept past 4:00 a.m. for the 1st time in over a month.
  5. Very glad you got a bit of relief. I hope it goes well today and that you don't push yourself too hard. (((hugs)))
  6. @gandolfication glad you're here.
  7. How frustrating. .. as if you don't have enough to do. On a better note...what a sweet letter to daddy from your eldest!
  8. I'm not sure there can be, will be, or needs to be an insight to make the relationship better. By writing that letter to your wife, you changed your *behavior* and maybe that's the right way to start. On the Cymbalta debate...please don't stop or start these cold turkey. I seem to recall you did that with Lamictal, risking the possibility of seizures. ( please don't get upset with me if I sound like I'm in "mom" mode...it's related to "friend" mode. Sinus headache is wearing on me) Can I wrap love in a hug? (love)
  9. Most wonderful therapist I had left a successful tech career to get his LPC. But as you know the most meaningful criterion is how you and the therapist connect. Google "Psychology Today find a therapist" - I found it helpful. I bookmarked a couple of possibilities in case I go back into therapy (my guy retired). I suspect that you are not interested at looking into free support groups right now. Supposedly these groups are a reasonable way to get recommendations for therapists.
  10. I like your thinking and hope this leads to some real healing and a stronger relationship. Hubby and I had the problem of not talking about anything difficult. Avoiding confrontation. I would sometimes raise concerns, but backed down when met with silence or "I'm too busy with work". It wasn't healthy. I left in 2004, for 2 years, and it was very bad. (I'm trying to keep 30+ years of my relationship history short). Since we reunited in 2006, and got married, it has been wonderful. I feel loved, and I feel safe within the relationship (now it's just the battles in my head that I deal with). You are doing so much in such a short period of time. Please stay mindful ... and we will watch too ... that you don't push yourself too hard. love and hugs to everyone
  11. You're a good man @gandolfication.
  12. (I feel mentally fuzzy right, so this post is "off". ) I'm glad you were able to identify what was happening ....that's *huge*. It does seem we feed off others' moods and behaviors. For better or worse. Do you think talking with her is worth a try? My mom and grandmother raised me. They fought so much. Both would say awful, hurtful things. Once I grew up, I could tell them I was going to leave if they started. My only strategy is removing myself from uncomfortable situations. Argh...I keep deleting and rewriting this post. Hopefully someone will have some helpful ideas.
  13. Having troubles with physical symptoms of anxiety, including feeling lightheaded often. I don't know if the lightheaded feeling is from the Lamictal withdrawal (took my last one Dec 9th!), hay fever that's been worse than usual the last couple of months, or something else. Klonopin didn't help this morning, but another one at mid-afternoon at least allowed me to relax enough to watch an episode of The Great British Baking show and to get a nap I also watched several YouTube videos from "Anxiety United" that I liked. I think I'll check out more of his channel.
  14. I commend you for examining your beliefs. Religion offers many a sense of comfort and community. But some of us reach a point that the beliefs we are expected to hold are are too problematic. We then either abandon or seek other paths. As social animals, we do need community and I think we suffer when we don't have that (DF certainly is a wonderful community, though I do think being in the physical presence of people who care about each other brings additional benefits). Some people do not seem to need to seek answers to existential questions (meaning purpose, etc.). I think most of us here DO. When I hit my late 30's, I went through a crisis that led me to study Buddhism and Wicca. I believe it was helpful. "Buddhism without Beliefs" is my favorite book ("The Zen Path through Depression" is good too). The original appeal of Wicca was it's reverence for nature and celebration of life. But literal belief in the supernatural is not something I can embrace (I *am* just speaking for myself here). The closest I've found to Wicca without the supernatural is called spiritual naturalism (which I have only taken a brief look at). I haven't consistently studied/practiced in a long time and your post is helping me realize that I'd like to pick back up. So thank you @Jamark8
  15. Definitely. Sometimes, it's sadness; other times it's anxiety. I don't know, but I think there is usually some trigger that I don't notice. It might be as simple as noticing the date (like someone's birthday) or something I read earlier in the day. I suppose part of why mindfulness meditation is so helpful is that it helps train you to pay attention to your thoughts and let them go.
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