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Afterglow1978

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Afterglow1978 last won the day on March 7

Afterglow1978 had the most liked content!

About Afterglow1978

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday July 22

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Central KY
  • Interests
    History, reading, hunting, fishing, church, trying to be a good dad and husband

Recent Profile Visitors

967 profile views
  1. Afterglow1978

    Lost

    No prob. I will say from experience, if you don't like the place right now that is never going to change. Only way to fix it is find a new employer.
  2. Afterglow1978

    I have a crush but i suffer from depression

    You did the right thing 100%. Now, you know what the deal is with her and you can slowly get on with your life. Avoiding her will be the best thing possible you can do. This may sound strange, but you might want to consider trying an online dating service or something like that. Not necessarily to find a rebound relationship, but to bring yourself back into reality by understanding that there are other women out there that you could have a relationship with and that this previous girl isn't the be all and end all.
  3. Afterglow1978

    Depression & Work Forum?

    Friend, I think you have an absolute right to "quit". In the sense that, what you have been doing previously is not working and you are not going to do it anymore. There is no reason to keep doing something that doesn't work, and all the jobs you have had at least since I have been on this forum meet that criteria. Before hunting for another job again, you may want to sit down with your family and tell them that the present course isn't working and you need to make a big change. I would tell them straight up it is a life and death issue, make a change or die. Let the dominoes fall where they may. There is nothing you can do to change the outcome remaining in your present course.
  4. Afterglow1978

    Lost

    Well, you have 3-4 months to think about it. When a department got shut down at my work last month, the people only had like two weeks to figure out where they were going to move. I would start looking at other places you could work. It's certainly possible you could find something even better than what you have now. Maybe there is another employer out there who has a job available like what you were doing.
  5. Afterglow1978

    Whining

    Hmm, sounds like you knowingly married into this situation. I suppose the best advice I can give is, recognize the fact that the mother in law is not going away until she dies. There is almost no chance her irritating behaviors and co-dependency are ever going to get better. Nor is it likely your husband will ever stop making excuses for her. A question: who is the primary breadwinner in the house? If it is your husband, then you have even less potential leverage over him and the mother in law. The best thing for you to do, and probably the only thing you can do, is seriously consider whether continuing to be married to your husband is worth the burden of having an older adult live with you like an adopted child. Maybe you will decide that it is, or maybe not. I would take some time to make this decision, perhaps enlist a professional counsellor or social worker to help you. As an aside, I think adult children living with their parents is nearly always a very unhealthy and self-defeating thing for all involved, whether it is parents who move in with adult children or adult children who never leave the house or move back at some point.
  6. Afterglow1978

    I have a crush but i suffer from depression

    Sounds like a plan. Mixed signals may simply mean that she is not good at dropping hints about how she really feels about you. Or, she really may be confused about how she feels. You need to lay out how you feel to her and ask her out sooner rather than later. The longer it goes on, the more it is going to hurt both of you. Not to mention the fact that, if she really is interested in you, you don't want to delay to the point that she concludes you don't feel the same way. Keep us posted!
  7. Afterglow1978

    Stories of recovery?

    That is progress, keep moving forward!
  8. Afterglow1978

    Sexual frustrations in my marriage

    I have concluded that the best thing to do is to wait until the wife asks for sex. This can take a couple of weeks but it's worth it because she is actually interested and eager for it. As far as her just doing it to help me out, I may as well just take care of the matter myself. Maybe this sounds crass, but an uninterested partner just doesn't feel good and I'd rather not bother her. Even having sex twice a month or so (average of how much she wants it) is way, way more than I had as a single man (try like once every five years or so). This is fine, I can totally live with it. We are just different in this regard, no one is right and no one is wrong, and it's certainly not the worst incompatibility you can have in a marriage.
  9. Afterglow1978

    Starting again at 42

    The only thing I can think of to say, is starting over can happen to anyone at any time. We don't "own" anything, no matter how much we feel we have earned it and deserved it. Our lives can come down like a house of cards at any time. I love my wife and daughter, our home, and my job. People lose those things without warning every day. The only advice I can think of is, try to live in the moment and focus on meeting immediate needs. That's what I would try to do in that situation, if I could hold myself together well enough.
  10. Afterglow1978

    Stories of recovery?

    That's how I feel hanging out in the living room with my wife and daughter. If I could just freeze time in that moment forever I would do it!
  11. Afterglow1978

    Spending my day in a cemetery

    Glad to do it. I visited the cemetery yesterday as a matter of fact, always something I enjoy. You may want to sign up with one of the various cemetery websites such as Find a Grave. You can add photos and descriptions of graves and the people who inhabit them. I am currently adding photos of the graves of my ancestors.
  12. Afterglow1978

    I have a crush but i suffer from depression

    This, 100%. I've been there more times than I can count, and the only way you are going to gain closure on this is to ask her out. Remember, not everyone is interested in looks primarily. A lot of women go more for personality than anything else. You may have a better chance with her than you think. If she says no, it's gonna hurt like hell but you can start moving on. If she still talks to you even after, and it causes problems, you may want to write her a polite e-mail explaining your situation and telling her that it is not healthy for either one of you to continue seeing or talking to each other. Crushes are an awful thing, and are not "love" or an indication that someone is right for you. I don't think they serve any good purpose at all, but they still happen. I have never had a crush on my wife, and I am glad for that fact. I love her for who she really is, which is much stronger and realistic.
  13. Afterglow1978

    5 hour energy drink

    I took the store brand of it for awhile. I found the effect to be very similar to a low dose of pharmacy amphetamine (10 mg). I am a big coffee drinker and have a legal prescription for amphetamine, and can definitely say that is the effect it had on me. My coffee is really weak, I drink it more for the taste than anything else.
  14. Afterglow1978

    Stories of recovery?

    Well spoken, friend.
  15. Afterglow1978

    Stories of recovery?

    Recovery? As in, cured? Nope, ain't gonna happen. Honestly, depression is part of who I am whether I like it or not. The meds help with the chemical imbalance and make the symptoms a little less painful. But, the condition/disorder/illness/whatever of depression is part of how I was made, I rolled off the line with it. That being said, there is no reason why I can't live a good life even as a depressed person. The biggest thing that helps me is forcing myself to believe that the only control I have in life is the decisions that I make. If I make the best possible decisions that I myself am capable of making, I have done all that I am capable of doing. I have no control over the consequences of my decisions, over the decisions other people make, things that happen in the natural world, and so on. Good things will happen and bad things will happen. I can decide how I react to things that happen, and thereby attempt to make those decisions as well as I possibly can, but that is all. For example, I have told the story of my work life here. In a nutshell, I love my job but there is no prospect of advancement or more pay here. Those opportunities happened, I did the best I was capable of, and they didn't go my way. So, my choice is to play the career slot machine and attempt to advance by going somewhere else, or stay here in a job that I love and accept the fact that this is as good as it will get. I have decided things here would have to get much worse for me to play the career slot machine again as this is the only job it has ever paid off on. So, unless something changes the best possible choice I can make is to stay here and that is all I can do. There is a guy I work with who I suspect is depressed. He is artificially happy and exuberant all of the time to the point of being irritating. I think his medication works too well, or he is self-medicating with alcohol and/or street drugs. Maybe he thinks he has "recovered", but I would not call that healthy by any means. I would much rather be an essentially depressed person who has good coping skills and appreciation for the people and things in their life.
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