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Emmilyyy

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About Emmilyyy

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  1. almost everyone here has depression. you can go to DF Chat on the right corner if you want to talk to people online. you can also post topics and others will answer.
  2. Am I weird?

    how old are you? the way youre putting things come of as a little rude. This forum is filled with normal people who share their experiences and in turn give their opinions and advice how they cope with such experiences. No one owes anyone anything and we dont have a job to make anyone happy. we all have our own issues. this website is for us to vent and seek like minded people so we can feel less alone.
  3. The other two didnt seem to be saying anything wrong. they were diagnosing themselves saying they have those things when a doctor never said so. they were just making clear that thats not healthy. not sure why people insist on enabling stuff like that.
  4. Am I weird?

    this right here is weird..saying youre going to cut yourself because no one replied in 5 hours and then saying "Lol " when someone actually responded and gave you genuine respond and sympathy.
  5. hopefully today was a better day for u
  6. Dating advice?

    why do you keep putting emphasis on "gold digger" it makes it seem like you have something against women when your first assumption is to see if their a gold digger or not when you dont know them. Have you had bad experiences where you were used for money? That could be an insecurity that effects your relationship in the future. Anyways other then that I dont think you need to worry. You dont have to get anyone anything on the first date and if you have thats already a plus. The best first impression is to show up on time look fresh and be a good listener and ask questions and dont be afraid to open. hope it goes well
  7. Please i wanna hear your story if you have and how you felt I feel so alone in this 😩
  8. A few months a go I was feeling depresses like I usually do. Depression is nothing new for me ive always had it. Even as a child and a teen ive had depression and anxiety as well. However never in my life have ive felt like I do now. Never. This horrendous feelings I just cant. Ive never specified what happened but a few months a go when I was feeling really depressed my best friend invited me out they invited me basically to smoke garden shrub and drive around I had hesitation but I felt maybe it will help calm me down. By the way its not my first time smoking garden shrub. So my beatbfriend and her friend picked me up and we parked somewhere and started smoking. We were smoking when all of a sudden my heart started to race insanely and I startee to feep horrible I told them omg idk whats happening to me but I need to get out so I get out of the car and thats when all hell broke loose. i dont remember too much except that I remember feeling like I was dying and i remember sceeaming for help on the streets. After that night my body was in complete shock. i had continues panick attacks and was hospitalized 3 times just overnight. After that I would just shake a lot and I had just so much anxiety and didnt sleep at all for 3 nights and after that I would sleep for 3 hours a day. Fast foward to now ever since than I havent been the same. My peace has completely been ripped away from me. I costantly feel peranoid and I keep thinking about existence and how weird it is and how were here if were not here and what is here. i think about how were a dot in this massive infinite space and it just doesnt make sense to me. I keep thinking whos in charge of it all. When i try to keep busy I feel disconnected from my surroundings and my family and friends. I feel like im living in someone play house. Everything around me looks foreign. I just cant seem to feeo ok. I cant stop having existensial thoughts and idk how to snap out of it. Leaving my hosue is the worst I step outside and idk even now i feel like im barely typing this idk guys pleaseee I need help pleasee idk what to do anymore im freaking out. Is this really the rest of my life am i always going to feel like this. I jsut had a freak out moment before this too and I feel weird writing this. Idk my head always hurts too. Idk maybe im crazy or i just need to not be here anymore
  9. Im sobbing I just i dont know. I dont know anymore and I know none of us do. But im hanging by a thread. Im 23 and I feel like im just going to make it. Im trying so hard im getting all the required help and im not getting any better. Mentally and physically I feel absolutely broken. I feel like im never going to get out of this. Depersonalizatipn and Derealization is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Screw the sexual abuse and the physical and emotional abuse as a child is nothing compare to whats happening to me right now. If im always going to feel this way whats the point. I just want regular depreasion and anxiety this is too much I cant im not strong enough for this. And I keep writing this because I just wish I could find someone that has gone trough these crazy experiences to tell le their ok now. But I haven't. Im so sorry for being so selfish. So many people would want to have a roof over their head and here i am not knowing whats what questioning existence being peranoid aftaid feeling like everything is fake and like im in some sort of metrix and im going to be in this nightmare until I call it quits or I die of age or accident. My god this is the worst state to be in. Im so sorry to all the people in mental chaos im so sorry. i wish so badly we can ALL get better and if I dont I hope you do.
  10. Im trying so HARD every day is just another passing day every second i just wish and pray "God please let me get trough another day please" im sorry yo hear that you can relate to some of these bad feelings. You sound like a very strong person!! Hope that with every bad tought you get that you're able to somehow deflect it and get better each and every time. Thank you for sharing your strategies
  11. Thank you thank you!! It is so scary to feel like youre not here ect. But I know I am and so are you. I hope to God that We BOTH gett better. I hope your appointments go well and that we get the help we need.
  12. Diego I want nothing more but to have that warm feeling of having my feet on the ground. I try to go outside and instead of making me feel better I feel more disconnected to my surroundings. I look at the people around me and I feel so far away from them as if i see somethong they dont. Sleep definetly to get more and better sleep. Im getting worse and worse and its the kind of nad that makes me scared because I feel like I can easily slip into a psychosis. My gosh this almost males me miss my regular type of crippling depression.
  13. You see its comments like these that trigger me 😩 I know youre just trying to help and for that I thank you but it only makes me more confused. But ultimately I agree with what youre saying im just not strong enough for that stuff. I just want to desperately live in the presen so bad. I dont know why mind wont just let me be in peace. This is worst than the crippling depression I was feeling before. Thank you though when you have these "crazy" feelings and experiences you feel horrible becaus everyone around you seem to be living in a different world than you and just question why cab you live like that.
  14. Thank you so much. Today i went on a walk with my mom and it was an unpleasant experience i felt disconnected from my surroundings and the sky was freaking me out. Anyways they jusy want to give me more pills. Im saying a psychiatrist in a month. Thanks again i hope you find peace of mind soon and sorry for triggering you
  15. Turning in the towel at 22

    This made me freak out at first because truth be told God scares me. Idk what to think anymore. My head is pure chaotic. Thank you for your lovely words God bless you for taking the time to respond. Please pray for me