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  1. I have made some really dumb and bad choices this year. 2020 has been full of ups and downs for me. I woke up feeling guilt, regret, and anxiety over the past. I have the hardest time letting go of the past. I struggle to even let go of embarrassing memories. I wish I could take back some of my choices. Sometimes the guilt can strike when I'm having a good time. When I wake up, the guilt and regret are hard not to dwell on. I have a very time not beating myself up Does anyone else struggle with self forgiveness? Advice?
  2. I recently felt ignored and ostracized by someone. I don't want to give all the details. But I'm wondering: how do you mentally and psychologically cope with being (or feeling) ostracized? Ignored?
  3. I'm glad you replied. I appreciate the compliment of my effort. It really means a lot to me that someone recognizes my effort and is willing to assist when they can. Speaking of what you wrote, I always use to think that once you gain confidence that all your mental challenges (seeking approval, feeling hurt by others' criticism, comparing yourself to others, feeling shy, etc.) will "vanish". But I realize that is just a misconception. Even the most confident person in the world can feel insecure from time to time. But your insight was helpful.
  4. I can relate to what you wrote, in a different way. I have made myself look like a fool in front of certain people. When they gave me a certain reaction, I ended up taking it personally and mentally reviewing it in my head for the remainder of the day. I have a pretty bad habit of beating myself up. Sometimes, I can be my own worst critic. What helps is reminding myself that I am a human being and I am INCAPABLE of being perfect. Humans are not designed to be perfect and will make mistakes throughout life. That usually helps me to be a lot easier on myself.
  5. I'm glad you replied. I'm glad you were able to relate to this post that I wrote. I (somewhat) have the misconception that confidence issues are usually issues that young people deal with. But it can affect people of all ages and from all walks of life. I try to stay positive about my confidence issues. Each day is a new day and an opportunity to work on yourself. The fact that you said you failed at gaining confidence shows that you put some effort into this. It's good that the effort is there.
  6. Thanks for this. I'm glad you can relate. I try to give myself reminders when I experience any kind of negativity. I have to remind myself to stop being so hard on myself, which is one of my worst habits.
  7. Thanks for your reply. I'm glad this post has resonated with you. I am still using the skills I learned but I need to be more consistent at doing them. I definitely relate to the self-improvement and progress part. I have made efforts to improve my situation in terms of confidence and self-esteem but still feel like I haven't made progress. I am going to use your advice of radical acceptance and compassion. I am not always compassionate towards myself and I will find a way to break this habit. Visualization sounds very helpful, so I will try to put that in my routine. You are right about self-improvement. It is not a smooth road. It comes with bumps along the way. Aspects of my confidence that I want to change are: social skills, assertiveness, and possibly approaching women. Ways that I can treat myself with more love and compassion is to meditate, do deep breathing exercises, read self-help books, journaling, and working out (realistically).
  8. Thanks for your reply. I'm glad you responded to this. I've been having a pretty bad day in regards to my confidence and needed some comforting words. I'm glad you can relate to my situation. I am 22, if that helps. I am glad that old age has lessened them for you. But thanks again. If my words in this post can resonate with anyone here or help anyone to feel better, then I'm glad I've helped others feel (at least, slightly) better about having confidence issues. I appreciate it, once again.
  9. I have some confidence issues. For about over a year, I've been working on improving myself but I've come across some setbacks. I've done things such as improving my body language, socially engaging with others (to the best of my ability), deep breathing in negative situations, giving eye contact, and other things. I have other issues such as taking things personally, being sensitive, and uncomfortable in social situations. Even though I've done these things, I will admit that I've been inconsistent at doing them. I'm sick and tired of being shy, unassertive, and not confident. Plus, my issues with anxiety make it hard for me to be confident. My confidence issues cause me to feel depressed because I feel like it is hindering me. Sometimes I fear that I will always be this way, despite my BEST efforts. Insight? Can anyone relate to my situation?
  10. I'm glad you can relate as well. I am struggling to be assertive too. I have tried to take deep breaths when I feel angry but it usually doesn't work for me. When I feel angry, I tend to write my feelings down, listen to music, watch YouTube, or surf the web to let go of these feelings.
  11. I'm glad you can relate. It is something that I've struggled with that I am currently trying to break out of. I have been assertive before but only a few times. I feel that once I start to start work more on my confidence then it'll become easier. I am still trying to deal with the anger and resentment from not speaking my mind ad standing up for myself when I should.
  12. I have a hard time being assertive and speaking my mind. This is a issue that I've been dealing with my whole life. I have a moderate level of self-esteem. My self-esteem is not high or low, but in the middle. I am currently working on my self-esteem. But one of the biggest problems I struggle with is assertiveness and speaking my mind. There are times when I have been assertive before but it is still something that I struggle with. If a person does something that makes me angry, I tend to hold it in instead of communicating to them about it. I feel afraid of their reaction but it still consumes me. In the end I pay the price for it by being eaten up by my anger and resentment. I tend to be shy, quiet, and socially reserved which doesn't help. I want to stop being shy and get over my social anxiety. I have held a lot of grudges because of this. I have a hard time speaking my mind and making myself understood. I really need help with this part of my life. I'm a 22 yr old male, if that helps. Does anyone else struggle with assertiveness? What has helped you? Insight?
  13. I am having guilt and anxiety over some past mistakes. OCD has managed to grab a hold of it and distort it. It is making me question if I really did something or not. I am very sure what happened but OCD is making me doubt it. I know that doesn't make sense but it is starting to really bother me. This guilt and anxiety won't go away. They are eating me up. It just recently started bothering me yesterday. I haven't been able to think about anything else. I want to talk to a counselor but I can't at the moment. What is the solution to false memory/real event OCD? While waiting for professional help? How long will it take to feel better if I apply certain techniques? Have you been through something similar?
  14. I am dealing with severe anxiety that makes me feel like I can't move on. I have a constant fear of the unknown. I have so many fears about everything that could go wrong in my life. It is making me feel sick to my stomach. Plus, I am struggling to forgive myself for the past. I have been going to sleep to escape from my feelings. I had a counseling session with someone at my school that was very horrible. I am DESPERATE for relief. I can't concentrate or focus in a normal way.
  15. Thank you for replying to this. My OCD has definitely worsened over these past few weeks and I am feeling like I'm going through a downward spiral. I am definitely going to seek therapy. This is a MUST for me at this point. I've been suffering from anxiety and other mental health challenges for longer than warranted. I just want the peace of mind that I desperately seek every single day. I am in a constant war with my mind. Thank you for the OCD advice of observing my thoughts. I will try to utilize this information to the best of my ability. I will probably spend more time on this site since I've been going mental hell these past few weeks. Thank you for replying.
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