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About justthinking

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  1. Welcome to the forum. I'm so glad you are reaching out for help. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I will share with you some of the things that have helped get me out of the pit in the past. 1. Changing my thinking. I have read several books on the brain (Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen; Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop, etc.) From these I learned that you can't focus your thoughts on two opposite things at the same time. I also learned that emotions follow thoughts. i am learning to discipline my thinking and my emotions follow. Also, I read Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. 2. Related to that book, I have realized that I have to get out of my own head and listen to what others are saying. I discovered Ravi Zaccharias on You Tube. What a fascinating man. He survived an attempt to end his own life several decades ago. Now he is an author and speaker. I have read several of his books and my favorite You Tube video is The Meaning of life. I have read several of his books and am reading the Grand Weaver right now. 3. And of course, eating healthy. Avoid caffeine, and alcohol, processed foods, gluten and sugary foods and drinks. Take probiotics, vitamin D and magnesium. Eat yogurt, lots of lean protein and fruits and vegetable. I heard recently that people who eat a Mediterranean diet have less anxiety and depression. 4. Avoid stress. Take hot relaxing baths in Epsom salt and lavender. Drink chamomile tea. And read good self help books - Take Your Life Back by David Stoop; The Lies We Believe by Chris Thirmin and Stronger by Clayton King. I hope you are able to find some reason to hope again.
  2. Maybe that's how work got the title "The Rat Race". Is there something you could on the side to educate, train or prepare you for a different job? Taking some classes? Doing some volunteer work, etc. Even doing some online training?
  3. @Help mom 13, Sorry your daughter is having a hard time. Has she been to the dr. for a checkup recently? And is she going through puberty? I had a really hard time between the ages of 12 and 14. Her hormones may be out of whack, especially progesterone. Also, has she had issues with bullying? Kids that age can be very cruel.
  4. @SociallyUNfit, Sorry you're having a hard time with your family. I don't know if there is such a thing as a "normal" family. I guess some families can put on an act in public or on social media, but I think every family has issues. Sorry about your health issues. I imagine the family stress is not good for your health. I can only say, that since you recognize that there are problems, you can at least work on yourself and your own emotional health and well being. I read a book several years ago - Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It taught me that I had to set the boundaries or others would just take advantage of my easy going personality. My Mom told me one time that I just go along to get along. Yep. That's pretty much me. I saw so much anger and fighting and I just wanted it to stop. I learned to just step away and avoid the chaos. I guess it was an attempt to protect myself. Anyway, I have spent the past 10-15 years reading self help books that I hear recommended on New Life radio call in program with Steve Arterburn. I can honestly say I am not the same person I was 15 years ago. Most of my family situations haven't changed, but I had to make the decision to do what I could to have an emotionally healthy life. I can say I am happy. I don't suffer as much with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. I think you might also enjoy the book The Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris Thirmin.
  5. Are you asking, "Will I always be like this (negative)? Is there no hope for change or improvement?" If those are the questions, I believe, based on my reading and study, that you can change and you can get rid of negative thought patterns. In the book Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop, he explains that your brain becomes what you think about. If you constantly think about negative things, you will have a negative brain. Also, look into the other books I suggested. I guess the question is do you really want to change? and what are you willing to do to change?
  6. Hi @Stand_alone, sorry you're having a hard time. Thanks for sharing with us, and no need to apologize for feeling like your story is a broken record. That's why most of us are on here. We are looking for something, anything that might push us in a new direction and put us on a new path in our lives. I have been greatly helped by this site. Why do you think you have a lack of confidence? In reading your post, I notice that you do tend to have a negative outlook on life. I heard recently that thinking negatively actually rewires the brain. The more we think negative thoughts, the worse we feel. I have battled anxiety and depression for a long time, but several years ago, I realized my life seemed to be in a downward spiral. I began to look for help and answers. I listen to New Life radio call in program with Steve Arterburn. I also, make it my goal to always be reading a self help book. It has changed my thinking so much. Some of my favorites are Blue Genes by Paul Meier MD; Dark Clouds, Silver Linings by Dr. Archibald Hart; Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth and Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel G. Amen. If you are willing to do a little work and commit yourself to getting well, I believe there is hope.
  7. So sorry you're not being heard. People can be very selfish. Anyone who writes about making friends, tells you to let the other person talk about themselves, because that's what people like to do. But what do you do when you're the one who needs a friend? I have realized very often that I have been a better friend than others have been to me. Sometimes I get tired of being the one to always carry the relationship. Having said that, I am so glad you have joined this group. I have found such caring and considerate people on here. Also, I discovered a call in radio program New Life with Steve Arterburn. They answer questions and offer advice and suggest resources. I have learned so much and been helped with my issues by listening to other people call in. And the best part is that it's free.
  8. @Annafairlady, Sorry you're having such a hard time. Is it possible there is a physical reason for your depression? Low Thyroid and also hormone imbalance can cause depression. Unfortunately traditional doctors aren't really trained to look at hormones and causes. I had to go to a wholistic doctor who checked my hormone levels. I now take Armour Thyroid and use a progesterone cream. It has made a huge difference. Also I agree with Chopinlover about finding things to be grateful for. I recently read two books that have helped me in managing my depression: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel G. Amen and Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop. I learned that it is possible to retrain my brain and that emotions follow thinking and actions. I won't give you meaningless platitudes, but I know what it is like to be so low you can't even look up. And I also know that there is hope that it will not always be this way. Do you belong to any groups? Being around people keeps me from slipping into depression. Also, journaling and volunteering my time.
  9. I live in the north and definitely suffer from SAD. I notice it creeping in every year about this time. But in the past couple years I have been getting better at learning to combat it and not allow myself to sink into the deep depression I used to experience. I started reading self help books about depression and about the brain. It has been very helpful. One of my favorite books is Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop. I learned how our emotions actually follow our thoughts and that if we think differently, we will feel differently. Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth was a good one also. I try to plan new projects and fun things to learn and do through the winter months. I don't work outside the house, and my husband works long hours. My kids are raised so I have to find things to keep my mind occupied.
  10. Sorry you feel this way. I try to tell myself that as long as there is breath in me, I still have at least one more chance. I am currently reading the book By Chance Alone by Max Eisen. He was a survivor of a concentration camp. As I read his story I feel so many emotions. Such sadness that people were treated that way. Anger that people can be so cruel. Also amazement at the fortitude of some people. How they can survive against all odds. I don't know all the answers but I know my life isn't as horrible as his was and like I said earlier, each new day gives me an opportunity to take a new path, make a different decision. i won't quit. When Max was in the concentration camp he had no choices, no options. There are a million opportunities and options at my disposal every day.
  11. Welcome to the group cherry. You are not alone. i recently heard that one out of every six humans is on medication for anxiety and depression. Are you getting enough sleep and do you have a regular bedtime? Sleep deprivation and disturbance can cause anxiety. Also, what is your diet like? Being in school, I imagine you eat a lot on the run. But I just heard on the radio last week that people who eat a Mediterranean diet are less likely to get depression and anxiety. And that the more junk food you eat the more likely you are to experience depression and anxiety. I have found this to be true for me. To feel my best, i have to avoid caffeine and processed or fast foods. I also limit sugar intake and white breads and pastas. Stress also causes anxiety. What are you doing to manage the stress of being in school? When I'm going through a stressful time I have to get out of my own head. If I just allow my thoughts to run around in my brain, I drive myself crazy. I found this guy on YouTube, Ravi Zaccharias. He is a speaker who survived an attempt to take his own life as a young man. His messages are very thought provoking, especially the one called "The Meaning of Life."
  12. Welcome to the forum. Sorry you're having a hard time. I know exactly what you are going through. I have experienced the same thing many times. Fortunately, I have been able to see that I am human - we all are. I am not perfect - there are no perfect human beings. Only God is perfect. I have made many mistakes and I will continue to make mistakes until the day I take my last breath. There are a lot of things that I have done that I can never go back and change. But I found that dwelling on them and being so hard on myself was ******* my soul. I have learned to allow myself to be imperfect. Imperfect doesn't mean bad. It means I am human. I realized that as long as I have breath in me I can turn the page, start a new chapter and move on. And failure isn't bad either. When Edison was inventing the light bulb he made 1000 unsuccessful attempts. When someone asked him how it felt to fail 1000 times he said, "I didn't fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps." What an amazing outlook to have on life. I am trying to evaluate every "Failure" in my life and look at it as a learning and growing opportunity. It's all in how I perceive the failure. Have you read Victor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning? I think you would enjoy it. Also, I heard last week that the only way you can move forward is by looking through the windshield - not the rearview mirror. When you constantly look behind you, you can't see the possibilities in front of you. Also, the rearview mirror is a lot smaller than the windshield for a reason. We are only to glance at it, to learn something, then look through the windshield and keep moving forward.
  13. Yes, I know what you mean. When I was younger I could skip a couple meals and lose weight. Now it seems like the weight is a lot harder to take off. But trust me it is not impossible. I also have a nordic track in my basement. I jump on it several times a day for a few minutes. I hate to exercise and it's hard for me to exercise for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. But I heard that doing brief bursts of cardio exercise through out the day is just as effective. My body does not look like it did when I was 21, but it looks pretty good for my age I think.
  14. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Your hormones may be unbalanced because of the baby and the birth control. I recently started using a progesterone cream which is really helping me maintain my weight. Also, have your had your thyroid checked? Low thyroid caused weight gain. I know how you feel because I have always been thin. It killed me when I gained 40 pounds with each baby. But it eventually came off. Just be patient with yourself. Keep doing the right things. I have found that just doing small things on a regular basis are more important than "being on a diet". For instance. I drink a lot of water, I keep fresh fruits and vegetables on hand so I can grab them easily instead of an unhealthy snack. I eat yogurt every day and stay away from processed foods and fast foods. Also, getting enough sleep is very important. I heard recently that you should fast 12 -13 hours during every 24 hour period. So, for instance, if you eat dinner at 5:00, don't eat any snacks in the evening and don't eat breakfast until 6:00 or 7:00 the next morning. And as soon as you get up drink a big glass of water with lemon. This has really helped me.
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