S1mon3

Yes I can totally relate. It's just so frustrating because I want to be happy and social. I want the old me back. But every single day is a battle and unless you have experienced it you will never understand. Time seems to slips way becoz everything I do takes so much longer than it should. I just don't feel like being around people it's such a big effort for me to be social and then afterwords I'm exhausted for days.

Can anyone relate? Since relapsing into depression I have found that it has taken my personality. My ability to engage with people, to have deep meaningful connections with close friends and family. I feel so isolated. I used to love to socialise, to ring my friends, to keep connected. Now I'm too busy wrapped up in my own head that I can't relate to anyone. I literally feel like I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. In conversations I forget words. I forget memories. I have nothing to add. No strong opinions. Iv lost my humour. It's such a debilitating illness because you kind of feel like your just floating through life.. going through the motions. After six weeks of utter hell, waking up each morning with anxiety, crying my way through the day and generally not wanting to be here anymore, I finally had enough & decided to take myself to the doctored. Iv been put on citalopram 10mg- and three days in I could feel the difference. My mood had completely lifted. I had energy. And even one day I rang my friend as I wanted to speak - that's a massive breakthrough. I felt like a part of me was coming back... but eight days in and I have plummeted. Today Iv sobbed my way through the day & it's as though my depression is back with a vengeance. What I wanted to ask was have anyone found that they lose a part of their personality through the illness? Iv found my memory is shocking - it's never been the best in general- but lately I'm forgetting what im doing like making a brew or brushing my teeth, even taking a tablet... I won't be able to remember if Iv done it so il go to the kettle and make a fresh cup of tea only to find Iv just made one and it's waiting for me in the living room. Il wonder if I've brushed my teeth even tho I have only just done it five minutes ago without thinking. Has anybody else has similar experiences. I just feel like my brain isn't working properly. Like it's foggy. It's so frustrating