gabbykitty

I finally got some decent sleep and was starting to feel better. I was looking forward to the first family picnic of the summer season especially since I missed all of them last year. I pick at my skin and have a new large scar on my face. In front of several people my cousin and then my mom pointed it out and then asked me about it. I tried to brush them off and ended up waving my hand at them, turning around and walking away because in the moment I couldn't think of anything to say. I still can't find the words to say what I feel now. Obviously I'm aware of the large dark scar so why point it out to me in front of other people. It brings back painful flashbacks of other times people pointed out my scars and the feelings of shame and embarrassment are as strong as ever.... The thing is I've talked with my mom at length in the past about the skin picking and she knows how sensitive of a topic it is. And she wonders why I don't tell her stuff.....

A recent job change just created the need for an entirely new schedule for me. I have no idea of what to do to fill my days since I'll only be working every other weekend. New habits are hard to develop and maintain!!! One thing I'm going to do is volunteer at the animal shelter, the kitties and doggies need humans to play with them. Perhaps volunteering somewhere will help boost those good feelings for you.

I walked around the mall

Although it hurts me to keep such a big part of my life from some people I purposely don't tell some people about my mental health issues because they have a history of minimizing problems. I know it would hurt worse to have them say what they've said in the past than to keep my feelings bottled up around them. I had a job that I would have panic attacks at the thought of going into work. After who knows how many no call/no shows and last minute call-ins I finally had to quit.

I had an episode of situational depression that I think is morphing into something more. it sucks. I'm changing jobs so that doesn't help the anxiety. I was tossing and turning in bed and just generally feeling restless so I got up and am currently at a 24 hour diner for half priced aps. I hoping some thinking away from home will help wear me out. I just started with a new therapist so that stirred some stuff up. I'm also starting a new job so there is the natural anxiety that goes with it. Plus, with this new job there is a whole new schedule for me and I've been having trouble adjusting. I feel so overwhelmed at home due to all the clutter but the depression and anxiety are making it hard to deal with. In general I'm having a hard time right now.

I've been depressed for all of my working life so I'm not really sure how it would be to work without it. I have to come up with a list of ways depression affects work and am having trouble starting. I was wondering if all of you could help me out by telling me how your depression affects work for you. Go ahead and tell me how anxiety affects work too if you have anxiety.