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MCMG

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About MCMG

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  1. Not sure if this would be some sort of advertising but I'd recommend Lemmino who makes top 10 facts on a random topic and sometimes a documentary on a particular topic; this video is a personal favourite of mine (don't be shunned by it just because it's a video game, there's some really cool facts in it): [Top 10 Facts - Halo - YouTube]
  2. Commenting just so I can never forget this and it forever appears on my profile activity, yeah, I do not post much :/
  3. One word story?

    I don't know if this has been posted here before because I haven't seen it in a while but let's play one word story where after everybody 10 comments someone will make a sentence of the words and we will stop at 100 comments if this thread reaches that far. Here it goes: One
  4. Lets share jokes?

    My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking this decision pretty hard though. (Another one because it's the weekend where I am living) I got a vasectomy to prevent kids; I was disappointed to see they were still there when I got home.
  5. Lets share jokes?

    Dude... Classic :) What type of electronic device sings 'hello'? A Dell.
  6. Boys Vs Girls

    10
  7. Lets share jokes?

    I'll start first: The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
  8. Letter to my mommie

    This was hard to read and I'm sorry to say this but I have no words to describe or empathize with you because I just do not know how to, but all I can tell you is that if you need anybody to talk to, I'm here.
  9. On step forward. Two steps back.

    Thank you for responding to me quickly @Epictetus and I shall NEVER EVER judge you harshly, I can empathize you and your situation. And if you hadn't noticed, I messed up the title but eh, lower the expectations as you said. So ultimately, I have to accept the fact that my family is ****ed up beyond repair and I have to just do what? Like, I already have no expectations for myself or my family so what gives? As I type that maybe it's because my parents expect so highly of me, maybe that's why they're acting as pieces of ? What do you think? As of now my dad is forcing me to make a CV and just get a job albeit me having zero work experience with a 110% chance to fail if I ever apply anywhere This community, is like finding coffee beans in elephant dung, I read a newspaper article a long time ago where in Africa coffee beans are collected from a certain species of elephants who feed on coffee beans and the dung it produces has coffee beans in it and collected and these are full of energy because of the trophic level and thus are the most expensive coffee beans in the world (something about a thousand dollars per kilo) so the elephant dung represents the Internet and the coffee beans represent this website. It's like, I'm making fun of this community (I swear I'm not) but valuing it at the same time (I swear I am). For some reason I turned on the notify me of replies and haven't received any notifications, is this function working? Also adding to my first post, this insomnia and just in general, crappy choices like not eating food or taking too much stress from this bulls*** happening around has had an impact of my skin and I sort of look ugly now with my wrinkles and pimples ruining what was left of my self-esteem, so much for the power of **** it and people being in general attracted to good looks just makes me want to say **** it louder.
  10. Hello depression central, MCMG here with another thread after practically a bad night sleep and feel the need to talk about some thing. So lately my depression is apparently manifesting itself in the form of anger and irritation because day by day I have lesser and lesser patience for my family, like, something just ticks off in my head whenever any of them approach and try to talk to me, I try so hard to get out of the conversation and just leave. And the fact that I have Automatic Negative Thoughts firing off my head once in a while and it really puts me down, in addition to that I watched several motivational videos when I was young so the voices of those people telling me to basically hustle and that life is not fair just further fuels my anger and adds salt to the wound. In other news my mom and my little brother recently left the country to visit their relatives abroad and it was just for those blissful 25 minutes did we feel like a proper and caring family like the one's seen in movies and that of which society depicts of and I went with the flow and kissed my mom goodbye when she left, I do not understand though; I'm venting and having problems with them post of the time yet at that time I loved them like anything else, this kinda makes me feel like I'm a two-faced person and I just hate two-faced people, I hate myself for that and it's not computing with me and messing me up. As of now, I'm just bored and going through a daily cycle of waking up, eating food, surfing the Internet and/or reading a book, sleep and day by day the weather is getting hotter and hotter making it next to impossible to go out at all (our AC broke down again due to the immense heat and have to wait until Sunday for the repairmen to arrive leading to more sleepless nights) in fact, the way it works here is that you cannot just directly go and sit inside a car, you have to open all the doors and windows to allow the humid air to escape and set the AC to full to cool down that burning leather seats and hope that you do not have a broken AC or that your car stops working because technically UAE is a desert and you could find yourself stranded. One of the most annoying things is that I have to seek validation and support from others rather than being unable to to get it from myself and it's limiting me in a sense, that's what apparently happens when you've been taught (read: shoved down your throat) that you must make your parents and everybody else happy around you or you're just a disgrace and at this point I cannot make anyone happy and that's just making me unhappy no matter how hard I try and I've literally said **** this, I'm gonna treat myself how I want others to treat me but do not know how or where to start, I still find normal tasks difficult to do because of the lack of interest like taking a shower or reading a book, somewhere my mind just 'trips' making me re-read the same thing 4 or 5 times making me frustrated and just closing the book. In other news, Texas just defunct Planned Parenthood (again), what are your thoughts? What the **** is going through these people's minds? My results for A-level exams are coming out tomorrow, the thing my parents were mentally chickening me through screaming, dehumanization and verbal abuse, but hey, it's because they love me, right? (eye-roll) And the thing I nearly physically killed myself for. Just typing that is so ****ing ridiculous like, it's only 2 subjects (Psychology and Economics) and the third one being Mathematics which I quite frankly do not give a about (I literally threw away my login details to access the results for it). Yet these 3 things have the power to decide my future course at least where I'm from because of the mentality of grades=university=degrees=jobs=money, like, what the actual ****, I believe that if everybody follows this mentality, everybody going into a university and getting a degree, nobody will truly have a degree but then again our new prime minister is the brother of our previous prime minister which was shocking as the media put it (read: through bribery, intimidation and corruption) and treat women like currency (those blogs of people traveling to Egypt and being given the offer of 4 camels for your wife are true). But anything good coming out of this is that I can say that this isn't for me and that I have power to control my self-esteem, future and myself, how bad can it get now now that I have hit the lowest of low I had ever experienced and probably ever will?
  11. Thank you for the kind words, if anything good is coming out of this, I guess you can say I'm slowly getting used to/conditioned to the stuff my parents do daily, like, becoming hollow, I've read that's what long term depression can do. I actually read an article published by MIT students which stated that venting or getting things out of your chest affects you negatively no matter if it is short term or long term because you are recollecting those terrible memories, what do you think? Those are some strong words, unfortunately until I'm on my own, I cannot cherish that type of freedom and need to continue to follow the footsteps of other people otherwise it's no food and shelter for me, but one day' one day. Thank you everybody for your insight and help, I hope you all have a happy future ahead.
  12. Nope, not in therapy, most likely when I'm living on my own, parents don't believe in it and won't bother taking me to therapy but instead just tell me to get over it. By tough love I assume just like my parents who call me useless, waste of money, go **** yourself and secretly tell me that the reason we say all of this is because we love you and want you to be better? Hell no, that'd be REBT where the therapists have to be brash and honest instead of being warm and supportive. Depression for me, is making me take no path but to stay there and lament and the moment I take a path, it just shuts me down saying you'd never make it anyways, ****ing pressure and all this competition just ****ed me up beyond ****ing repair, I will get p***** and swing an aluminum bat whenever people just talk about pressure and competition being so important (it is but the extend to which they talk about is enough to bring back my suicidal thoughts again). As of now, I believe I should go into a university as drastic as it may sound because all this talk about vocational schools being in need is only applicable in the West rather than in Asia which is underdeveloped in terms of humanity and so. Thus the employers and people there still follow the degree=job mentality, I'm been taken down and beaten by it and have now accepted it.
  13. For now, my dad wants me to work for him in his company, of course I won't get paid no matter how much BS comes from the whole family guaranteeing me pay, it's just the fool me once shame on me thing. I'll be honest as to why I can't just do what you're telling me to do. Because I'm ****ing afraid of failing and ****ing up, I've been screwed too much to go on now. Everyday is the same monotonous for me with no plans of changing, waking up, eating food, procastinating by playing games or reading fictional books while wishing I could be doing more and I go to bed regretting everything I did and promise myself to a better tomorrow only to fall in the same cycle. I've searched for plumbers or electricians needing help or internships near me and got nothing, only results were from places a few kilometres away from me. Public transport is sort of s***ty here with the trains only taking you to shopping malls and not to different places where work usually happens, I'd go broke in a week just trying to use it because of how expensive is here. I got no friends to carpool with since I do not even have a job. Yes, it's a student visa. Hmm, I'll look into that chamber of commerce thing, thank you.
  14. I have no one to talk to.

    What matters is that you are here now and one thing you should know about this place is that you can talk to anyone at anytime and about anything, please take care, there are people who love and care for you, maybe they could be here in this website, maybe some place is, but mark my words, there are people who care for you no matter what others say.
  15. As I've mentioned before, I need to be able to do it under my parent's nose without them knowing because they would in general not allow me to do such type of work, I've searched for internships and there are often far away from where I live, adding the fact that I do not have a driver's license makes things harder since I'm so immobile, it's not that easy to just getting my foot out of the door and start making money. I think one more fact is that I'm living in another country, not my home country so if I start working my entire visa status would have to possibly change. What skills should I develop that can help me in the future? And which resources do you recommend?