I am so lost I don't even know who I am. It's like my thoughts are trapped inside my head and I cannot escape. I want to disappear so that I do not have to deal with anything....I always want to run away. I am never satisfied. Doctors do not help, I have been in and out of many facilities I have seen many doctors I have taken several prescriptions yet I feel like this is only something I can change or it is something that will never go away. I cannot keep a healthy relationship with anyone at all. I wanna give up I'm just afraid of trying to give up and failing. If anything good ever happens I always ruin it and fall in a dark hole and repeat the process all over again. Never ending cycle of misery.