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Mollyav

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About Mollyav

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  1. Thanks for telling me to quit the meds. I think they have effected my mood in a negative way. I still can't sleep but at least I have people that understand. Let me know how I can support you guys. You have helped save a life. Possibly from od-ing.
  2. Thank you so much. I am trying to get it together. I have reconciled with my family and they have shown me that the actually care. They have softened there hearts and are being forgiving! I am so grateful and overjoyed. We hugged amd made up and we are starting fresh! I made commitments to be and honest, honorable person that's focused on staying straight and narrow. I will do better. I'm officially off of my sleeping pills. I have not felt this optimistic in 6 months. Thank you guys for the support. My fight with depression is far from over but I feel a new hope in my life. You all are awesome. Much love.
  3. Thank you so much everyone for your support. I used to sketch when I was depressed the first time. Maybe I'll do that after I find work. I haven't had a good nights sledp in years. But you guys are right. The pills are done. You are saving lives do you know that? Karma right back to you all. Again let me know what posts you all have. I would love to support. How are you all doing?
  4. Thank you so much epictetus. My heart is so touched. I'm not used to this much support. Thank you and I will stop taking the sleeping pills. They aren't working anyway. Im going to try your suggestion about the internet physiatrist.
  5. Omg thank you so much ba3linga. Your words have helped so much. I'm already studying online classes now. I want to take some college courses and get back into computer science. I was in the middle of studying and just happened to check my email and see your post. Thank you so much for understanding. I hope you can heal also and your getting back into the work force turns put well. Let me know what I can to to support and let's win against depression together as a community
  6. I feel your pain. No one takes my depression seriously either. Here is my story. I believe you.
  7. I messed up my career. I had a fabulous high paying job. My family also respected me and I was on my way towards great things. However inside I was falling apart. I was suffering from depression anxiety and had dizzy spells that would randomly occur. I was secretly struggling with addiction to handle my feelings of depression and felt like I was losing control and It was like I was living two lives. One in which I was fulfilling expectations and the other a downward spiral into destruction. I have never been in a relationship or had a boyfriend or anything and I have no friends . I was going through depression and anxiety from three monthrs prior and I was getting zero support at home. My family doesn't believe in depression. I was suffering from vertigo attacts and had lost my appetite and had serious insomnia. And I was trying to reach out and there he was. He took notice of me and we began to talk. He did most of the talking actually. He seemed friendly and had a good sense of humor. I began to feel happy when I saw him at work. (He was a coworker). Then he gave me his telephone number. For work reasons. Then he text me hi and I text hi back and that was it. We began hanging out and then dating. My family that i live with are very strict and I knew they wouldn't like him because he was older than me and of a different religion. I tried to keep our relationship secret but we wound up having a love affair. My family found out about our relationship and also some things we had done together. (We had hung out one night and was talking for like three hours and he got in my car and I was driving him to his car after dinner and I just pulled over near a park and we started talking about our relationship and how it wouldn't work and we started talking about life and we looked at each other and we started kissing and then we made love) My family was p*****. They had told me to stay away and I tried but that made me feel more attached so we got back together. That week was hell. I got everything taken away from me. I was scared and I called him and they found out and were p***** and kicked me out so he picked me up but they wanted me back because he had a roommate and they didn't want me staying with him and the police got involved......and after that he broke up with me. So now I have to quit my job that I love and I'm so embarrassed and my father disowned me and my family won't talk to me and I know it's my fault but I am still so lonely and depressed again and I'm taking sleeping pills now and I took to many and my stomach hurts and also I have dermatillomania. I have felt alone for so many years and I think that though I wasn't looking to reach out subconsciously I was desperately looking for support and he just happened to be there and he befriended me and I him and then our relationship grew from there. We were both lonely and we were trying to find solace in each other. But it was not meant to be so now I'm still lonely with no job and no car and my family is ashamed of me and I'm taking to many sleeping pills and I still can't sleep. I'm very underweight and everytime I ask to see a doctor my dad gets mad at me because he doesn't believe that it would help me. My life is ruined.
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