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Ba3inga

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Everything posted by Ba3inga

  1. Ba3inga

    Things just keep getting worse

    Have you contacted them, to discuss your options? We have universal credit here, it's pittance and getting tighter or people. It's so unfair on people. You could try your local church, you don't have to be a member. They would know of anything local as well, as have their own ways of helping people in your situation. I know it's scary, l've been there, keep taking deep breaths, tackle each bit at a time. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Contact who you pay rent and bills to, keep them informed, they are more decent if you don't try and ignore it. Some suppliers actually have schemes to help people, but you have to ask.
  2. Ba3inga

    What Really Bugs You (7)

    People who gush over the top how much they care, when clearly they don't, it's extremely condescending and fake. They are usually the ones to ignore you when there is no audience, or you don't get them ahead in some capacity.
  3. Doctors in my country state that exercise is one of the best things to fight depression and anxiety, so if you can push yourself to do it, then l think that would be prudent, but there are times when it can seem like a losing battle just to get out of bed, so on those days don't beat yourself up, it's just a different battle that day :)
  4. Ba3inga

    I dont know what to do

    I'm not sure what country you're in, if able book an appointment with your doctor, if you have school councillors speak to them in confidence. I'm sorry you're going through so much, so young. No matter your age, sadly most people are cruel, uncaring, self absorbed and fake. Their behaviour is a reflection on them, they sadly see a weakness and because they are cowards, aim for it. It isn't easy being in this situation, and to know what the right action is. You can tell a lot about a person, by the people they are friends with, are you sure this person is so nice, if she hangs out with such bullies and does nothing? I know when finding a friend you want to hold on, as though it is a life line, but keep it in mind. I would recommend looking up self assertiveness, and practice. How we hold ourselves in public can go a long way in self protection. Standing tall, not looking at the floor, looking people in the eye, are small examples of what can all help.
  5. Ahh ok. Yeah, sadly it doesn't work like that. Iooking back l've suffered with depression and anxiety from a young child, though wasn't diagnosed until my 40's. It's swings and round abouts. Everyone is different, getting to know myself, confronting my fears and sheer stubbornness has helped no end for it, l forced myself to try different mindfulness techniques, relaxation, exercises, diet, to find the right fit for me. I can keep the worst at bay with it. Try not to lose hope, by thinking in terms of years, it's not that kind of goal, it is a serious illness.
  6. It takes time, patience and perseverance. Be gentle with yourself. Gaming can actually be a form of escapism, giving your brain and nervous system a break. Did you name yourself after a mazda?
  7. If anyone does experience this, apparently it can be due to flash backs.
  8. Hi, I haven't been officially diagnosed with PTSD, as l don't really want to go into my experiences with anyone too deeply, especially face to face. I have confronted a lot of things recently in a short matter of time, my anxiety has been very up and down, l have suffered lack of sleep and had a couple of panic attacks. This was however very different, l was faced with a few triggers regarding some nasty experiences in my life, it brought up a lot of memories and the emotions were crippling. I knew where l was, it wasn't like l was actually there, but emotionally l was, it felt like l was in it again, but in the present. Does this sound like flasbacks? Hope this finds you well
  9. Ba3inga

    What's On Your Mind Right Now?

    That it would be awesome if we could choose our sexual orentation.
  10. Ba3inga

    What did you dream last night?

    Dreams tend to reflect our hopes, desires, worries and fears. Your dream sounds very much like you don't feel in control of your life, like you feel unempowered and nothing you attempt to do really makes a difference, you fear the unknown and it's hurtling towards it, and it's kind of like wanting the world to stop, so you can catch your breath, read a map and figure what is going on.
  11. Hi LF, l found walking helped mine. Well done for being proactive. It might seem like anxiety, but could it be the effects from walking and possible low blood sugar? It can feel like anxiety, high blood pressure etc You might also want to check posture whilst you are walking, good foot wear can make a difference. Also looking at your breathing, keep taking slow deep breaths. It took me a few weeks to adjust. I'm doing countless stair climbing at work now, and feel great, just takes a little while. Good luck and happy birthday when ever that is, guessing it must be soon.
  12. You said ACT. Women want someone who is nice. I just recently had some player ACT nice. He was oh so understanding about what l'd been through, the second l was having doubts when he started talking sexual stuff, he stopped hardly contacting me, then l get told about these women he is dating. I wanted NICE not ACT nice.
  13. Yeah of course, what would l know l'm just a WOMAN. Tattoos have nothing to do with bad guys. I used to go to a biker rock pub every week, loads of tattoos nicest guys l ever met. Some of the worst men l've met have had none. You're making incorrect assumptions.
  14. Utter nonsense, when we land a bad boy it's usually because they are pretending to be someone they aren't, women aren't stupid, that is so insulting.
  15. Well said LF, l myself could be bitter at what life has thrown at me, and this includes rape, but l lick my wounds then l pick myself back up and l try again.
  16. Then don't state women have broken you. Well it's ok for you to not fancy certain types, but not ok for the women you fancy to not like you. I don't think it's your health issues that is holding you back, more your attitude. I don't mean to sound rude, but all you do is moan and feel sorry for yourself, you don't have a nice attitude towards women. You don't seem to take any action, that doesn't sound much fun to be around. If you came across someone like that you wouldn't be interested. They say be the type of person you want to attract. If you're not prepared to, then go back to playing games.
  17. At no point does it give you the right to state women have broken you. You don't want to do anything to get a date, you always have an excuse, you put every obstacle you can in its place, you clearly don't want to date, you just want to moan and blame women. At least be honest about it.
  18. A lot of women have posted on your threads trying to help you. You're just passing the buck, easier to blame women than confront your inner demons isn't it.
  19. Ba3inga

    What's On Your Mind Right Now?

    Thank you. You're always so thoughtful
  20. Ba3inga

    What's On Your Mind Right Now?

    Feels like people get rewarded if they play with my feelings. It doesn't seem to pay being kind.
  21. I always feel happier alone, being around people can feel extremely lonely. I notice l am good around people who are honest, consistent, their words and actions are in balance. I notice when someone blows hot and cold, or says something like, 'l avoid talking to people that bore/annoy me', then you suddenly don't hear from them for ages somewhere down the line, really brings out my issues, you just don't know where you stand with people like that. I of course always get the blame, but l know l wouldn't want to be treated like that if l didn't have issues, it is just more noticeable.
  22. Ba3inga

    What Are You Listening To Right Now?

    "Beautiful" [Sample - Rock Therapy "Reaching Out":] Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world where they can be alone Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you? [Eminem:] I'm just so ****in' depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump If I could just get over this hump But I need something to pull me out this dump, I took my bruises, took my lumps Fell down and I got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up In order for me to pick the mic back up I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in I'm starting to feel distant again So I decided just to pick this pen Up and try to make an attempt to vent But I just can't admit Or come to grips with the fact that I may be done with rap I need a new outlet, and I know some 's so hard to swallow But I just can't sit back and wallow In my own sorrow But I know one fact I'll be one tough act to follow One tough act to follow I'll be one tough act to follow Here today, gone tomorrow But you'd have to walk a thousand miles In my shoes, just to see What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like to Feel your pain, you feel mine Go inside each other's minds Just to see what we find Look at through each other's eyes But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh They can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful Oh, they can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you, yeah, so... I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor Everything is so tense and gloom I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room Just as soon as I walk in It's like all eyes on me So I try to avoid any eye contact 'Cause if I do that then it opens the door for conversation Like I want that... I'm not looking for extra attention I just want to be just like you Blend in with the rest of the room Maybe just point me to the closest restroom I don't need no ****ing man servant Trying to follow me around and wipe my ass Laugh at every single joke I crack And half of them ain't even funny like "Ha!, Marshall you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, God damn" Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown So why don't you all sit down? Listen to the tale I'm about to tell Hell, we don't gotta trade our shoes And you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles In my shoes, just to see What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like to Feel your pain, you feel mine Go inside each other's minds Just to see what we find Look at through each other's eyes But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful Oh they can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you so Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful Oh they can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you so Nobody asked for life to deal us With these bulls*** hands we're dealt We gotta take these cards ourselves And flip them, don't expect no help Now I could have either just Sat on my ass and p***** and moaned Or take this situation in which I'm placed in And get up and get my own I was never the type of kid To wait by the door and pack his bags Who sat on the porch and hoped and prayed For a dad to show up who never did I just wanted to fit in In every single place Every school I went I dreamed of being that cool kid Even if it meant acting stupid Aunt Edna always told me "Keep makin' that face it'll get stuck like that" Meanwhile I'm just standin' there Holdin' my tongue tryna talk like this 'Til I stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign pole at 8 years old I learned my lesson then cause I wasn't tryna impress my friends no more But I already told you my whole life story Not just based on my description 'Cause where you see it from where you're sitting It's probably 110% different I guess we would have to walk a mile In each other's shoes, at least What size you wear? I wear tens Let's see if you can fit your feet In my shoes, just to see What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like to Feel your pain, you feel mine Go inside each other's minds Just to see what we find Look at through each other's eyes But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh They can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful Oh, they can all get ****ed. Just stay true to you, yeah, so... [Sample - Rock Therapy "Reaching Out":] Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world where they can be alone... So are you calling me, are you trying to get through, oh? Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you? So oh oh [Eminem:] Yeah... To my babies. Stay strong. Daddy will be home soon And to the rest of the world, God gave you them shoes To fit you, so put 'em on and wear 'em Be yourself, man, be proud of who you are Even if it sounds corny, Don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful So...
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