Ok, so here is goes. I am a 34YO married man with an amazing wife and three great kids. When my oldest was born (he just turned 10) I had a panic attack (my only legitimate one ever) and started having general anxiety (with some intrusive OCD type thoughts) due to becoming a Father, starting MBA school, and starting a new business all at the same time. I REALLY didn't want to go the med route, so I toughed it out for a year and a half. It was hard, there were good times in that year, but overall it was a struggle. I decided to try medication, I took Zoloft and I remember it took a little while to kick in, maybe increased my anxiety a bit, but overall felt much better and started enjoying life fairly quickly. I was on Zoloft for 8 years, I went all the way up to 150mgs (only for a couple of weeks as it made me keyed up) at one point, but after getting on a vitamin and fish oil supplement and losing some weight (6'2") went from 225lbs to about 210lbs, I lowered my Zoloft dose to 50mgs for the last 5 years. There were times I would have 1-2 week anxiety blips (usually once or twice a year when I was eating poorly, or not exercising) but overall I was back to my normal self and LOVING LIFE and my Family. Last October the business I started was successful, I have a perfect, amazingly beautiful wife and 3 healthy thriving kids, I decided when my Zoloft dose ran out, I simply wouldn't refill it. So I went from 50mgs to nothing overnight (I know, probably not smart). I went through some withdrawal effects (dizzy spells, muscles cramps, nothing major) for about 3 weeks (got through it with LOTS of exercise and drinking lots of water), then...I felt great. Went through the holidays and start of winter just fine, I didn't even think about anxiety. Only downside was I did start having some pretty frustrating PE. At the end of January I started feeling kinda down (not really depressed, any of my depression has been related to living with anxiety) and felt my anxiety creeping in. After a week of this, I decided I was going to be proactive and not let it get worse, and I was worried it would get as bad as 10 years ago (plus I was kind of looking for an excuse to restart the Zoloft due to PE) so I restarted the Zoloft 50MGs (maybe the worst decision of my life...except for maybe quitting in the first place). Well my anxiety quickly went from about a 4-5 to an 11, I couldn't sleep past 4AM (sleeping fine before) and would wake with terrible anxiety that would pretty much last all day. I gave it three weeks on this and didn't get much relief (if any) so I tried to go down to 25mgs (that probably helped a bit, but i kept focusing on it wasn't therapeutic so I went back up to 50 after a week). After the week on 50, it felt like too much so I went back to 25mgs and didn't feel better (probably all the stupid up and down I did to myself). My P-Doc had mentioned that although Zoloft had worked in the past, it is quite stimulating and not the best for anxiety, so we decided to switch to Lexapro. I was on 5MGs for a week, and then 10MGs for 5 and a half weeks now. I have pretty much been the same the whole time on Lexapro as I was on Zoloft, maybe at times I feel my mood is better and I can concentrate on my family and things and not the anxiety so much, but sometimes I think I am just REALLY struggling to find positives where they don't exist. So I guess my question is, where does this leave me? Should I continue on the Lexapro 10mgs? I am REALLY scared to move up as I don't think I am over any side effects of the 10MGS, still have crazy anxiety upon waking (anywhere from 4-5:30AM) that may be actually worse the last two weeks (I took my 1st klonopin last night as I felt I could no longer handle the morning anxiety, which wasn't always the case). The anxiety does lesson fairly quickly after I work out every morning (usually a 3-4 mile run with my dog) to a manageable level, but it is always there and I am never "normal." Night right before bed and I take my nightly Lexapro is usually my best time. I know some people have taken longer than 6 1/2 weeks on Lexapro, but shouldn't I be feeling something positive, not reaching for the Klonopin for the 1st time? Am I experiencing a low level serotonin syndrome (Side effects include anxiety, insomnia (early waking), shaking in legs, arms and hands, dry/tired eyes, burning sensation on skin, loose stools. None have gone away, except for maybe recently the loose stools, but I have thought that before and they come back...TMI)? It is hard to persevere cause I feel maybe if I would have just exercised more (I had let this slip, and was on a weird Keto Diet), and let summer come, I would have been fine. I wasn't THAT bad before and it is just not getting better. My wife and my kids need their Husband/Dad back! I meet with my P-Doc on Friday, what should I do? Stick with the 10mgs with Klonopin? Try to go down to 5 as maybe 10 is too much (I only weigh 185lbs now so maybe i don't need a "therapeutic dose")? Go up to 15 or 20mgs? Titerate off and get a new baseline for a few months to see where I really am? Try something else (why are the SSRIs doing this to me when Zoloft worked so great for so long)? I would desperately welcome any advice! These last 3 months have been the most anxiety ridden, worst of my life (WAY worse than my 1st episode that I struggled through for a year and a half) and have made it really hard to see the end and a bright future again. THANKS IN ADVANCE TO ANYONE WHO TAKES THE TIME TO READ THIS NOVEL AND REPLY!!!