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lovingladyo4

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  1. lovingladyo4

    I don't want this life

    And now I am noticing neither of them are showing - sorry again.
  2. lovingladyo4

    I don't want this life

    I am so sorry for my double posts - there seems to be a little glitch when I post here.
  3. lovingladyo4

    I don't want this life

    I am so glad you took the time to unload these heavy concerns. Those who have experienced anything close to what you describe know full well these feelings are real and all-consuming. Having lived through mental illness myself, and also having been healed of just about all of it, I would like to encourage you to believe hope is out there for you, and may be closer than you think. I think the most important thing to consider is trying to identify and put your finger on the root cause of your condition; could it be disorders in certain regions of specific chromosomes? a genetic predisposition? lack of enough serotonin, dopamine, and nephineperine? grief? seasonal depression? situational depression? a melancholy personality type? nutrient deficiencies; like niacin and magnesium (which are scientifically known to contribute to depression)? chemical and hormonal imbalances? These are just a few of the physical factors that could be causing you to feel so low. Try setting up an appointment with a "functional doctor specializing in endocrinology" and ask to have some bloodwork done along with a saliva test. You will be utterly amazed at what these tests will reveal about what is going on inside you. Have you been to a counselor or therapist? Your emotional concerns need to be addressed, and you might some some serious relief from scheduling sessions with someone who understands how the mind, body, soul, and spirit all work in unison. Do not give up dear friend. Help is out there - it's just a matter of finding the right people. Praying hope comes back into your mind and that you are lead to the right people who can help the most.
  4. lovingladyo4

    Is situational depression a real thing?

    Animals do not have feelings but humans do. I don't believe it's humanly possible to prevent adverse reactions from occurring because heartache is a part of life and no one can escape it. Your body has a "fight-or-flight" mechanism in it for this very purpose, to assist you when adverse circumstances to try to take over. The body and the mind is capable of training itself to reduce the impact negative situations have on us. Some people, depending on their beliefs, will be problem free on the other side of eternity, but until then, we must work with what the creator has given us as tools to help us cope; we are designed and created with a way to cope with life's setbacks and disappointments. People do have choice in how they respond to negative circumstances though - deny them, avoid them, pretend they didn't happen, refuse to openly communicate about them, become oblivious to the reality they live in, OR, face them and use the body's capabilities to overcome them.
  5. lovingladyo4

    Is situational depression a real thing?

    Situational depression is real and must never be discarded just because others don't understand the complexities of it. Once a person thoroughly understands the make up of the human body, and how the brain, organs, hormones, cells, enzymes, glands, and gut, all work together, it's easy to see how this type of depression works, what exactly is happening inside the body, and what must be done to help the hurting individual. Situational depression indicates a person may not have always had depression or anxiety, and if that is the case, something had to change on a biochemical level, or physiological standpoint to make your body not be able to make enough dopamine, serotonin, or GABA. What a functional doctor will do in place of drugs, will uncover the cause of this through blood work and saliva testing. You will amazed at how much you can find out through these simple tests. Everything that happens to humans involves the brain, so if there is a block somewhere, as to why these hormones are not making it across the blood brain barrier, this type of doctor can look at all the pathways and determine why a person feels depressed. Vitamin B6 deficiency, caused by drinking alcohol, or take SSRIs on a regular basis, has been known to cause depression. Niacin deficiency has been known to cause depression. Iron deficiency, or if you were anemic, might be a culprit because you need iron to carry oxygen to the brain, and iron deficiency prevents this from happening. Blood sugar problems, stemming from someone eating sugar everyday, can cause a chain reaction leading to an imbalance in blood sugar levels, affecting a person's mental health. Sugar is poison. A fatty liver, caused by a poor diet of junk food has been known to cause depression. The list could go on, but the good news is that a person can recover from life's setbacks with the help of a the right kind of doctor and the right kind of therapist, or just from self help which includes, getting regular exercise (exercise helps in the production of dopamine and serotonin), eating a well balanced diet (some of the body's serotonin gets manufactured in the gut), good sleep (which sounds so overused, but the brain needs sleep to function properly), talking to loved ones, joining a formal support group, taking up a hobby or other recreation involvement. I sure hope and pray some of this helps.
  6. lovingladyo4

    Zero Motivation

    I'm glad you felt courageous enough to join this forum to discover you are not alone, and that many other people in this world fight similar battles. No one wants to stay stuck, so sometimes it's a matter of talking to the right people to help you uncover the root cause of why you feel a certain way. A good starting point for what to do, might be to call around for some help, either from a pastor of a Bible believing church, or a Christian counselor, so they can walk you through every compartment of your life to help uncover exactly why you feel this way. There are physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional factors involved, so sitting with someone who is willing to listen to your story and offer suggestions will get you pointed in the right direction. The next step might be to get some blood work done and a saliva test done by a functional doctor specializing in endocrinology so you can see any hormone and chemical imbalances, along with nutrient deficiencies. You will be utterly amazed by knowing you can take simple steps to feel so much better. The human body is very complex and the body affects the mind and vice-versa. Sometimes getting educated and gaining knowledge about your problem can give you the momentum to move forward and find the help you need. I don't believe your situation is as much about where to live as it is about how you feel. Once your mind and your body feel better, these decisions won't be so huge and scary. I sure hope some of this helps, and don't be afraid to reach out to integrative doctors (not conventional doctors) and counselors for help too. Your life matters and I know once you feel better, you'll be in a better position to see things from a different vantage point.
  7. lovingladyo4

    Intro to cervical cancer

    Dear sweet precious friend, my heart breaks that you have to endure all these uncertainties. Even if you would have had your whole life to prepare for this moment in time, nothing could prevent you from plummeting and asking why. I don't know that we will ever have the answers on this side of eternity, and so for now, I hope and pray you get connected to some kind of a support group, either survivors through the hospital, or even a moms group in your area that will love you and encourage you. I honestly believe that our most meaningful relationships will be the one thing that can carry us through our dark days. Take one day at a time, and reach out for help the second you need it. I am so glad we had a chance to meet here. Praying for you and trusting God to show you how much He cares about your situation.
  8. Hi Nissala, I'm so glad you took a couple minutes of your time to unload your concerns on this forum. I can identify with some of what you experience, and thankfully, from years of hard work and trusting God for help, I am not buried under negativity anymore. As in many forms of mental illness, our minds automatically obsess over things unnecessarily, and as we all know, the outcome never changes. I am not a professional, and therefore cannot offer any clinical advice, but I can share from my own experience what helped me short-circuit interfering thoughts leading to anxiety. Remember to give yourself permission to cope from any past circumstances, with the goal of disarming them in your thought life and putting them in their proper place. This takes time, and involves the intervention of a therapist or counselor. Treating only the symptoms does not bring a person any closer curing the cause. Since I am a Christian, I exchanged the lies in my head for truths found in the Bible. There is a reference to this that goes, ".......whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Feeding my mind these truths is no different than feeding your stomach when you want food. Whenever a debilitating thought comes into my mind to ruin me, I exchange it for words that bring life. It is possible to rest your brain, because when you change the way you think, you actually chemically change the connections in your brain. Ask yourself if rumination will solve the problem. It won't, as you well know already, so you can take steps to interrupt the vicious cycle by wilfully choosing to replace those thoughts with ideas, suggestions, and activities that will build you up instead of tear you down. If you had a record playing in the room stuck on replay, you could only tolerate it for so long. After a short period of time you would go over to the record and take charge of the problem by unplugging it, and then finding something else that brought you pleasure. This step is where the toughest work is, because it's where behavior actually changes. You have to do another behavior instead of the old one. Try googling some research on resetting your brain and see what you can find. Starting off with some self-therapy can get yourself into the pattern of recognizing the opportunities to make some changes. I sure hope some of this helps, and thank you for letting me share my thoughts.
  9. lovingladyo4

    Hopeless

    I'm glad you took the liberty of writing in here and sharing this heavy burden with those of us who understand. Sometimes people on the outside looking in cannot see the depths of what you experience, which is why I depend on only a certain few in my life to support me. They can't always fix my problem but knowing they are on my side side, rooting for me, makes all the difference in the world. Do you have someone in your life you are able to discuss this with? Perhaps, a trusted friend you respect, a pastor, a clergy member, a counselor, or therapist, hotline worker, or support group? Depending on where you live, you can make some phone calls, to hospitals and churches, and find out where groups meet together. We all need someone to lean on, I don't care what is going on in a person's life, we were never intended to stay isolated and cut off from meaningful relationships. Depression is very treatable through natural methods such as diet and supplementation. Perhaps your body has a deficiency, like magnesium or niacin, that contributes to your feelings. For starters, it might be a good idea to monitor what you put in your mouth: no sugar of any kind (read all labels and if the product contains sugar, do not buy it), no alcohol, no processed foods, no preservatives, no GMOs, and no caffeine. All of these disrupt the hormones that govern your ability to feel well. Exercise releases serotonin and dopamine into your bloodstream, making you feel better. Turkey contains tryptophan, a calming neurotransmitter, which will help you relax. Deep breathing, especially the exhale, triggers the vagus nerve (from the nervous system) to bring you into a state of relaxation. Relaxation is triggered from the parasympathetic nervous system, and deep breathing helps regulate it. I could name many more methods you can implement that don't cost a penny, and are extremely easy to do. I think it's a matter of getting educated on how a person's body works, and making some positive changes. Depression can originate from hundreds of different things, so it's important to uncover what is causing yours. Maybe you would like to keep a daily log and start writing some things down. I did that and it helped me zero in on what I needed to pay attention to the most. Don't be afraid to take that first step. Staying stuck is a horrible place to be, and once you believe changes can be made, you will begin to feel a new confidence seep its way into your life. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
  10. lovingladyo4

    my intro - hi!

    I can relate to what you share about generations ago where these types of illnesses never got any attention, and never had a name to them. I remember as a young person growing up that if you ever heard the word "mental-illness" horrid images flew through your mind making you believe the individuals trapped inside the illness were deranged rejects and undeserving of society's attention. Funny how those memories proved to be so untrue. In looking back, in the same way you did, I can see more clearly that all those nameless problems really did originate from chemical imbalances in the brain, but no one cared to address them, probably because they didn't know how. I'm curious, how far back can you trace mental illness in your family? I am now in my mid 60's and have sure learned a lot since treating myself. Since the mind, body, soul, and spirit of a man all work in unison, if one is hurting they all hurt. By divine plan, that's how interconnected we are as humans. So it's impossible to pay attention to just one aspect of our existence without probing into its influence on the other three. Take the body for example. A healthy lifestyle starts with balancing your hormones. Diet is the single most important factor influencing your hormones. Sugar, simple carbohydrates and processed foods cause blood glucose levels to spike, throwing off the body’s production of insulin. When pathways from the brain prevent neurotransmitters from either being produced, absorbed, or released, and are blocked, they cause many of the symptoms you are familiar with. These symptoms affect our moods, our outlook on life, and our ability to maintain good health. Poor diets of chemical laden foods are full of hormone disruptors which cause imbalances. Alcohol induces depression, and depression warps our view of ever becoming a whole person and robs us of hope. Caffeine ramps up the release of cortisol, throwing off the rhythm of adrenal glands. Monitoring and stabilizing blood sugar is paramount because it affects the release of cortisol. Too low of carbs signal the release of cortisol and adrenaline, which, upon building up within the bloodstream, can wreak havoc on the immune system and mental functioning. Exercise aids in the release of serotonin and dopamine. Natural supplements such as ashwagandha act as natural antidepressants. A proper diet is paramount to good mental health because 70% of serotonin in manufactured in the gut. These are just a few key factors to consider when trying to control the balance of hormones. When our hormones are so out of balance, they open the door for our emotions to dominate our outlook on life. In my own experience, talking with a Christian counselor helped me understand the complexities of my problems, where they originated from, what influenced them, and what my options were for eradicating depression from my life. The goal cannot be reached without considering the mind, body, soul, and spirit. We are created beings vulnerable to the generations that went before us. But the good news is - we don't have to stay stuck! I sure hope and pray you find the path you want to take to being made whole again. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts and I hope some of it helps.
  11. lovingladyo4

    I need help

    I think you did the right thing by writing down all these thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we just need to get them out in the open because in doing so, it helps release some of the pent up emotion. Knowing that someone will listen and understand can be uplifting. The worst part about carrying a heavy load is when we feel we are all alone and no one shows they care. You didn't make any mention if you are seeing a counselor, therapist, pastor, clergy member, friend, or family connection to discuss all this with. Is that something you would consider? We all reach a point in life when we need to lean on others, either for prayer or encouragement. Trying to fix a problem can be an overwhelming task, and lead to fear of failure or burnout. But when we are surrounded by those who can listen to our heart's cry for help, and lift us up in prayer, we begin to find that hope is real. This happened to me so I am speaking from experience. I wouldn't be where I am today had it not been for the love and grace of God sustaining me in my darkest hours. I personally am convinced one of the best effective methods for learning to cope with seemingly impossible situations is to talk about them with someone you trust. I hope and pray you are able to connect with someone who can love you and support you during this fragile time in your life. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I promise I will be praying for you.
  12. lovingladyo4

    Hi! New member with my story.

    I have been on this website long enough to say with confidence that the people here understand these kinds of situations and many can personally relate to your feelings of desperation. I was in that place one time too, and yes, medication did help me along with counseling, diet, and lifestyle changes. I implemented many time-proven methods to keep my symptoms under control, and even eliminated most of them. I think sometimes we can surprise ourselves by how much we overcome. The human spirit is designed that way I believe. Crossing hurdle after hurdle can be exhausting, which is all the more reason we need others to walk-the-walk with us. I have found solace confiding in just a certain few people when I face my darkest valleys or feel the most defeated. Kind encouraging words from a close friend builds us up and gives us a fresh perspective. I have spent many hours studying the brain and all its various components, in hopes of uncovering an explanation as to what I could personally do to help myself become a whole person. I'd like to share a few bits of that information if it's ok with you. On days when you are battling anxiety or depression, exercise not only helps eliminate toxins that can mess up your hormones levels, it releases copious amounts of serotonin into our bloodstream. I am 64 and my goal is to walk 30 minutes daily. I also jump on my rebounder because any vertical physical activity (like jumping rope) gives the lymphatic system a chance to detox. Synthetic lotions and body product will often contain ingredients that contribute to hormone disruption. Same thing with all processed foods; chemicals added to the food supply are responsible for staggering amounts of thyroid problems involving hormones. Panic attacks are rooted in fear. A Christian counselor helped me uncover my deepest fears, and explained why they were there and what I could do about them. This was biggest turning point and hope once again entered my life. If visiting with a trusted counselor isn't an option, then perhaps finding a church womens group for friendship and camaraderie. You don't have to belong to the church to attend many of these, but call around and have your list of questions ready. Hopefully you'll get a feel if it's something you want to get involved with. Stay busy with hobbies or activities that bring out the best in you. Everybody has an interest, and immersing yourself in something that is fulfilling and rewarding can be a type of therapy. Do you like cooking or crafts? Check out your local community classes and see what is available. The fall schedule is probably out by now, and maybe something will catch your eye. These are all very simple explanations of what a person can do to offset the extreme emotions they war against. I do believe medicine can solve some of the problems, but not all of them. My hope and prayer for you is that God will lead you and guide you and show you how you can find relief from the emotional pain you have suffered with. Feel free to write back if you'd like.
  13. lovingladyo4

    Stop mentally beating myself up.

    Self criticism and self condemnation are ugly enemies and seem like a universal struggle. I think it's common for people to get down on themselves for doing silly or stupid things, but when it grips a person in the way you describe, I would have reason for concern too. I have heard psychologists refer to a what is called "healthy self-appraisal" which is associated with reducing these negative thought patterns. What's interesting to keep in mind is that the brain remembers negative thoughts and stores them to be repeated over and over. Once I studied how the brain is so intrinsically involved with emotions, I was better able to believe I could retrain my own and reverse the destructive patterns. Even though therapy is helpful and useful, I am still convinced that knowing how these horrific negative feelings enter our life in the first place helps us better understand what factors came into play that explain why we feel the way we do. Some people are born with chemical imbalances in their brain and others experience a traumatic events that leave them emotionally paralyzed. In my own situation, it came from my parents. They were both miserable people and I inherited their genes making me predisposed toward depression. It wasn't until I was well into adulthood that I learned about how to retrain my brain, how to release the feel good hormones into my bloodstream, which natural supplements balance out hormone levels, and why speaking with the right counselor is crucial in the mental healing process. My progress did not happen overnight, but I was determined to think more highly of myself than my parents ever did. It might be that past events in your life resulted in you having a very low self-esteem. And, if others along the way contributed to your feelings of low self-worth, it's no wonder that you have lost sight of how precious and valuable your life really is. Find one thing in your life you do well. Find one thing in your life you like more than anything. Make a list of all your strengths. Try to focus on the good instead of the bad. Believe in your heart your life matters. Believe you were created with a purpose. Start slow and grow. I hope some of this helps, and thank you for letting me share my thoughts.
  14. I became aware that I never introduced myself on this forum. I thought it would be a good idea to "meet" all of you, since we all come to this same location to either give support or receive it. I use the name lovingladyo, I'm married, have four children, and have been through seasons of life where I struggled desperately with anxiety and depression. I am seeing that this forum is a safe place for people to share their concerns while being open for ideas and suggestions from others. That spells out "community" to me, and I am happy to be a part of it. Right now I am in a very stable place, and I am so thankful for that. I am already noticing how people's lives overlap in a variety of ways, and I truly hope everyone gets some encouragement here. I will talk to you soon!
  15. lovingladyo4

    First Post

    I'm glad you felt the freedom to write in and unload your concerns. I think reaching out in times like this is always a good idea, as it tends to interrupt the intensity of what we carry around on the inside. Sometimes just talking about our concerns is a type of therapy, and helps release the pent up emotions that become so overbearing. I have been in situations where I thought I would lose my mind from accumulated worry or fear, but when I had a chance to engage in meaningful conversation with someone who cared, I felt the tension lift. Maybe you are just the type of person who is sensitive and has a personality that tends to feel things at a deep level. Those are beautiful qualities to have and can certainly be your strengths in many situations. Sensitive and caring people break easily I have noticed, so special precautions need to be set in place to safeguard their hearts.Perhaps this is why you internalize the weight of all that is happening in your life. Anxiety is no small thing and neither is getting married and moving into a house! Getting to the bottom of why you are depressed is paramount to your getting healed from it. Have you been able to have meaningful conversations with a counselor, therapist, clergy member or someone else who can help you uncover what is causing this? Sometimes people are born with chemical imbalances, and sometimes an event can trigger the onset of anxiety and depression. Something is bothering you and I hope and pray you can figure out what it is. Also, hormonal disruption or the wrong meds can be the culprit. Drugs can only accomplish so much, and there are other methods to treat your condition. Simple things like enough sleep, the right diet, plenty of exercise, enough sunshine, giving your attention to your favorite craft or hobby, interacting with people on a regular basis, and things like that. Once a person fully understands what biological processes kicks into gear when these things are done, they tend to have more motivation to continue. If you would like to explore another option, try googling functional doctors in your area and check out their profiles. They can have you take a simple saliva test that will reveal where any hormonal imbalances are and provide natural supplements to bring the levels back to where they need to be. Myself and my two daughters used this approach and had tremendous success! Exercise helps release serotonin into your bloodstream. Check out the article and see if it helps. Please feel free to write back! We can talk more if you'd like.
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