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About emily_

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  • Birthday 06/12/2000

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    Binge watching shows and Anime, music(I have a weird taste in music), Sleeping, drawing/coloring(im a child honestly)

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  1. emily_


    Just :( That's it..
  2. emily_


    So, after doing research and compairing symptoms and stuff. Taking tests, doing more researching. according to the internet I could possibly/have a high risk of Borderline Personality Disoder. or I'm just a moody teenager. i am in no ways saying that this is what I have. I'm not self diagnosing, I am just saying that I show many symptoms of this and can relate to it. what I do know that I have(80% sure) is that's I have depression and anxiety since I know these two things run in my family and my mom had to take medication awhile back for depression. So after doing research I needed to vent since crying wasn't doing much.
  3. emily_

    I need to stop.

    I need to stop whom he and complaining. It's getting me no where and it also proves that no one cares. My friends don't give a crap. I'm literally just wasting away abd they don't care. So yeah. I need to stop whinnying and being a little b****.
  4. emily_

    Wanting to die

    I don't want to be here anymore...all I'm doing is making my boyfriend hurt with how I feel all the time...school sucks..I'm behind i have to force myself to do stuff and I physically can't.. my friends don't help. I can stay silent for days and they won't even ask why. They don't care.. no one really cares... i don't even think my boyfriend cares at this point... i wanted to die the other day so I hurt myself pretty bad... i dont knkw..
  5. I have no reason to be as messed up as I am. my family is good. I'm not bullied. I grew up in a good environment. People have it so much worse...I have no reason to have these stupid mood swings and this sad feeling and suicidal feelings. My feelings aren't valid...others are way more important... im always telling myself that it doesn't matter to anyone. I don't matter to anyone becaus eothers has it way worse...no matter how many times I hurt myself it won't matter.... i needed to vent this...sorry for attention seeking...I just havent the been doing well...
  6. I'm at the point where I can't keep it inside any longer and I've started to have two or more breakdowns a day at school...yay...everything is just so bad.. and thanks to the English teacher for pretty much saying and I don't care or that I should have an reason for why my work isn't done. Thanks.
  7. So yesterday my English teacher told us we would be doing some stuff in front of the class. I flat out told him no. I told him i can't. Like i physically cant. But now, i have to go in a lunch and "practice" presenting. Which honestly isnt going to help me once I get up in front of the class. practice isnt going to do anything for me and i know it. My body shuts down when it comes to those types of things. I shake and cry and can't breath, even if it's just a teacher in front of me. Im just hoping that he doesn't try and force me..I already have stuff to deal with..I just want him to leave me alone.. I don't want to tell my parents becasue my mom is always trying to make me do these kinds of things...but i dont think she understands how bad it is for me...
  8. I can't be bothered with school anymore. Even though after this year is over i only have one to go. I just cant take it. The people, the teachers. All the stupid work. I'm at the point where i've stopped doing most of my work and i just dont care. i want to drop out but then id be forced to get a job by my parents.. everyday when i get home i want to curl up and cry. All my energy is gone. I never get sleep so most of my days are just anxiety fueled. Im sick of it... im so tired of it...
  9. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months(It's a Long distance relationship). After about 3ish months in is when I started to get angry and take it out on him. He has put up with it this far into our relationship...But both me and him don;t know how to calm me down..A couple months back i fought with him over how i was ruining everything for him and making his life worse. He told me that was not what I was doing...If he wasnt so stubborn the angry part of me wouldve broken up with him..(Which when im angry i do say i dont want to be with him anymore..) I've been self destructive lately which makes him feel like he is the cause and i tell him hes not.. I feeling like my actions are tearing us apart slowly...
  10. emily_


    So lately, ive been getting really angry..I mean it happens a lot actually. A couple months ago i was straight up angry for two whole months. I try my best to control it but i end up taking it out on my boyfriend..which then makes me feel so crappy after i come out of the anger. But lately school has been the trigger. As soon as i get there, everything sets me off. The talking, the papers moving around, everything. I'll usually plugged in my earbuds and turn it out but it doesn't help much. I go into fits when i want to just punch and scream and cry, but i can't. I just don't know why i'm like this and it's starting to wear me out.. After i got home today i was so mentally tired and drained off all my energy..And it doesn't help that i'm always full of anxiety too.. I really need help with this...Anyone else go through something this?..
  11. Hello, I'm Emily, im 16 and i have been "depressed" for about 4 years. I say "depressed" bc i haven't been diagnosed and i know people get upset and say that people who haven't been diagnosed don't really have a mental illness until stated by a dr. So that's why... But anyways, i've been feeling really sad, angry and suicidal for the past month...everything is getting bad again and i can't seem to control my emotions. I'm behind in school becasue of this and im always tired. And i dont think it helps that i'm kind of limiting my calories intake.. I thought that this would be a nice place to figure myself out, get better and meet new some friends(since ive lost all of mine..)
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