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June322

Senior Member
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About June322

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    Senior Member

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    Female
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    existence, the universe, nutrition, plants, music, movies, anime, dreams , psychology and food.

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  1. June322

    Dave

    I feel for you so much! Many of us felt close to him as it is since he was such an active member that really took the time to hear others out and help us ease our pains anyway he could. I can only imagine how you feel since you were even closer to him. Hope that you feel better soon and just know he truly did a positive impact on many of us here. Hope it helps to know he is at peace now. So much love to you and everyone here struggling. We're a community that feels the pain together.
  2. glad to hear you were having a good day duck! sad that it turned sour after talking to your sister. what happened ?
  3. Grateful for the Internet ! you can do so much with it and I'm happy to be alive in a time it exist. I mean it made this website possible and made it possible for me to connect with many of you who have helped me through out my mental health journey. My Dog Movies and Shows being accessible through streaming
  4. I feel really broken. Financially, mentally, physically ..just broke. I genuinely just want some stability and some sort of peace present in me and my life
  5. I recently paid for this fitness program specifically for women and it's for 30 days and it started on the 28 of November and I sitll havent followed it 😥 my goal was to loose 15 pounds by christimasd but havent done the work to do so. But nonetheless I admire your pursuit! And I think this would be a good thread to start for the new year too!
  6. I think for one blaming it on fog is not a good thing. You should take personal responsibility for your actions. Saying that to someone can also be triggering to the person you told it too. I think you should respect the fact that she does not want to talk to you because thats her right. Take this chance to just realize its a mistake and tell your therapist about how you told her that and do stuff like that in heat of the moments and maybe they can give you tips on how to improve the impulses and not say those things again. Constantly contacting her and trying to get a response from her that you like is not good. If you already apologise and she got the message but doesn't want anything else that's it. I thinks time now for both of you to heal separately. I wish you the best
  7. Still just want a treadmill to get some exercise done at home
  8. I Just want to let got of the Fear and Anxiety that crimple me from moving forward with my life. Not just with my life but doing anything really. I wanna let go of that and just do things like a regular functional human being. I wanna experience life and not fear.
  9. I've been wanting to write about this for a while. This year has been my least active on here. Now that we are almost entering into a new year I wanted to write for the people that have been on here for years and others that are just singing up because I think it'll be helpful and put some stuff into perspective. 3 years a go I had a complete mental breakdown. I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life due to childhood traumas that I suffered. That said i learned to just deal with it. However 3 years a go I was hitting a low and one night I went out with friends and had a horrible drug reaction. That night really changed me for the worst. I had the worst panic attacks of my life and ended up in the hospital 3 times in the span of a week. After that incident I was not myself. I started to be in a constant state of dissociation. It was difficult for me to feel connected to reality and it was terrifying. I completely lost sense of who I was as a person. My love ones didn't know what to do with me anymore. I was not myself. I barely felt human. I remember my mom taking me to the store to get some tea and the lady there told her it seemed I was having a psychosis episode. I felt so Alone. I couldn't leave my house or be around others because I would all of a sudden just have these episodes. I remember just wanting to feel Human. I contemplated suicide and even wrote my love ones letters and thought about how I could take my life the painless way possible. Then one day i was googlin how I was feeling and searching for people that were going through the same thing I was. That's when I found this website. I immediately started to read other peoples stories and wrote about my own and I felt a sense of belonging. This website helped me feel grounded. In a sense You guys. Yes you reading this and this website save my life. I was drowning in my chaotic mind so when I found this website and started to see others go through the same thing it made me start to feel normal again. I guess the point of me writing this is because Ive been on this website for a while now and I've seen people come and go and seen how this website can help some people and other times people get frustrated saying whats the point because they sometimes expect to come here and get cured like therapy. But I dont see this as a place to solve all my problems. I see it as a place to connect with others and be reminded of how many people that we dont know about suffer in silence and we all just wanna feel ok and connected. Im happy to have found this website. A lot of people on here really helped me. Sad to see not everyone still logs on but yeah I just wanted to share my experience and Say thank you and I hope that I can help others on here the way some people have helped me. Truly wish you all peace ! I hope we all have more good days then bad and feel free to add to this thread with your own stories or whatever you're feeling!
  10. Don't drop the class ! Especially if your own therapist and teacher thinks that you're capable and its in your best interest you should definitely stay. When I was at my worst mentally and I was taking my depression and anxiety meds I honestly could barely stand even sitting in a classroom. I was that bad that I could barely be sitting in class without feeling like i was having a panic attack. I even puked during a presentation. Not in class luckily I made it to the bathroom but honestly im happy that I stayed in those classes during those episodes because they slowly got me to feel normal being around others. Its also a reminder that we all ultimately live in our own bubble of self awarness and no one is going to judge u as bad as yourself. A lot of the things you think others are doing/thinking about you are stuff their probably not even noticing because their too busy focusing on their own anxieties and issues. I was horrible in speech class. I was the worst one. Yet by the end of the semester i got The most improved student award for the class. If I can do it so can you! Give yourself the chance and let yourself go through the sea of bad emotions. Trust youll end up coming out feeling and doing better !
  11. A good pair of running shoes and a treadmill for my home
  12. That actually didnt seem long at all! Your feelings are understandable. Most people would have fallen in love with someone like her if they were in your situation. As finding someone that makes you feel like your depression is not abnormal or a burden can be comforting and rare. That said its not impossible. Its important to have people in our lives in general but if you really think that at this point in your life her presence hinders your growth then help then probably better not to talk to her as often and try to deal with the trauma yourself in the sense where you face it head on and dont let anything or anyone shield you from confronting your trauma and treating it so you can get better. It sounds like you're still struggling and it's easy to depend on her but dont let her be your life line. You gotta be your own lif line and work on feeling better without her . easier said then done but also easier to just not confront it and go through the uncomfortable change and just stay put. I feel for you because you sound like you're suffering in silence so I wish you all the best! And keep us posted with everything
  13. Today I had a mental Breakdown at in the school bathroom. I felt it coming too.. the aching pain in my chest , the pounding in my head..my mouth going dry. I started to dissociate and panic in class and then finally broke down in the bathroom. Afterwards when I came home I felt so exhausted and not just the exhaustion you feel after a good cry but my body just felt so worn out. I also felt a lot of physical pain. I took a nap and woke up feeling like a truck ran over me and my mind felt drunk. I realized my body has been feeling worn out this entire week and after watching my mom have a breakdown last night and then going to school and watching an emotional psychological movie it just broke me. Thats just a little background of what happened that lead me to this thought but ...man mental illness really just wrecks your body. Its not just your brain not being in good condition but it really starts to manifest itself physically as well. Your Health start to deteriorate and it makes it harder to get better because not only is it just your FEELINGS of feeling down but its Physical as well. Its crazy. People that dont struggle with this stuff dont realize how sick it can really make you. Anyways I havent been posting much because ironically enough I dont wanna bother people here with my problems lol But I wnated to share this as a reminder to take a step back and try to recognize when our mental illness gets to the point where it starts to break us down as a whole and its important to take care of ourselves and distress whenver possible. we need it . take care folks.
  14. its my birthday today and Ive been thinking how its been years now where I kind of just stopped looking forward to the reminder of my date of my birth. so I just have a question for you all. how do you feel about your birthday ? did you stop counting after a while ? and just not cared. How do yall feel about birthdays In general thoughts on this topic ? thanks 🙂
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