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About June322

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    Music, Nature, Food, Anime , plants, over thinking

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  1. Also when you have such high levels of stress and anxiety its the brain way of coping with whats happening. its sort of in this sleep mode where it just shuts down so not all your senses are working properly because its retreated from the situation. it can also happend with a trauma event or just when theres been a lot of trauma built up. It freaked me out so bad when I first experienced it because its a part of anxiety that not a lot of people talk about but once you do your research you realize its not that uncommon :)
  2. It almost trips me out reading this because I fell the EXACT same way!!! I have thing too where all of a sudden peoples eyes freak me out and I just feel like im living inside a game and I feel so idconnected from my surroundings and the worst part is when I look at my mom and Shes the person I love most and I feel like im looking at a robot or something. But PoeticProse is right I was diagnosed with depersonalization and thats exactly how that makes you feel. Im still not recovered and Im in no pisition to say this fully but I have a friend who is in a better spot then me with the same concerns and theyve all told me that its part of accepting it for what it is. Its a freaky thing to go trough because it makes you look touch of reality and you cant think logically. But once you recognize that its a nomal thing that happens to a lot of people and you realize theres a name for it, it helps establish normalize again :) . I mean look at me I literally feel the exact same way and if some stranger you dont know has and is going trough the same thing it should say a lot! I couldnt afford it anymore but talking to a good theraphist if its in your power it would help! I had to go trough 2 theraphist to find the right one for me and talking to them about this helped me! :)
  3. I also suffer from constant migraines and I always thought they were simply hand and hand with my anxiety and depression. Since you already Went to the doctors what really helped me is eating more of a plant based diet and not drinking milk or eating meats and stuff like that and just having more vegetable and fruits. My favorites are blue berries and bananas and apples. Vegetables Ill just have any and Eating Beans lentils grains stuff like that. Also not drinking anything but water and getting some damn sleep. But when Im genuinely consistent wit this I notice myself feeling a lot better. Also I go to college full time and I used to work but not anymore. So I spend time inside quite a bit because of it so I would force myself to go on one hour walks and get some sun. CONSISTENT diet and exercise helps with my migraines. But rarely do people actually commit to these cliches long enough to see the great results but they really do help. I would also Puke a lot due to anxiety and stress so managing stress and realizing Im stressed and taking time to do what I have to do and take care of myself helps too. I like taking baths and that helps with relaxation :)
  4. Don't Question the Good

    Im so happy to hear that!! Definitely think you shouldnt be afraid to post both negative and positive things on here. its all about venting and getting it all out there. I really hope you continue to have more good days then bad ones! keep us posted :)
  5. I want to so bad.......

    Wow Im always impressed by parents that care so much for their children and have to battle mental illness all while having a life depending on their own. I hope you give yourself credit for that. Also I dont necessarily have an answer to the last part of your paragraph either as I wonder that myself. Its strange because its truly a viscous cycle. We all start of as innocent children and get molded by our parents and we somehow have to deal with their emotional baggage and trauma which transfer onto us that was give to them by their parents and it keeps passing on. That being said I honestly Do not think God hates you I dont think anyone hates you!! Its like when youre having a bad day and you dont want to talk to anyone and your daughter ask you something and you dont answer in a good tone does that mean you hate your daughter ? Noo of course not. You were a victim of bad parenting and Im so so sorry for that. Because its not your fault. You suffered a lot as a child and a lot was put on you as kid and you had to carry that your whole life! Of course youre going to be tired its a lot to handle but dont think its your fault its not. Its all that trauma and pain that weighs us down and makes us feel like crap. I dont think you sound crazy at all Its just a lot on your plate. Have you ever tried talking to anyone about how you feel and your past traumas ?? maybe getting it all out there and discussing your traumas with someone will help you feel better and move forward.
  6. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone.

    You are sooo Young !!! Belive me 100% that I almost know for a fact that someone in your circle feels the exact same way. In 9th Grade Its so easy to feel especially alone when youre surrounded by so many people but feel separated by them. Its honestly very rare to meet anyone in 9th grade that doesnt feel like they dont secretly fit in. I mean think about it you feel this way but none of your friends know and probably dont suspect it. That means that theres probably a lot of people that feel the exact same way but are too afraid to say out loud. Dont be afraid to express how you feel. Its good to let it all out to your love ones. Its also super ok and normal too feel like you want to fall in love lol If you want a relationship go for it just dont feel pressure to have one or for it to be perfect. At your age it sucks because theres so many good opportunities but its all ruined because thats the age where we literally over think our every move and word and dont realize that everyone around is just as afraid, nervous and lost as you are. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT you arent the only one so dont feel singled out by your feelings. Talk to people and talk to yourself explore what you want and who you like and dont be afraid to make healthy mistakes.
  7. All of that sounds like Anxiety. I know anxiety is a word that gets thrown around a lot so it makes it sound like nothing sometimes. But Anxiety can really set off a disturbance in your body that just makes everything unbalanced! I have major anxiety and I get bad migraines and I get stressed and sometimes puke and it I get upset stomach and cant keep my food down, insomnia ect Its all just anxiety and stressed just weighing you down at least thats what it sounds like to me based on what you wrote. Especially since you say you're not sleeping right. You have all this stress and anxiety and to top it off the lack of sleep is not giving you time to recuperate. I would say From your own accord genuinely try relaxing methods like taking a bath doing proper breathing exercises taking time to unwind and just give yourself time to relax can help. But also I would say see a therapist. Not to alarm you because I dont think it sounds like omg something wrong but a therapist can definitely help you ease your racing thoughts and help with the stress and better diagnose you, Good luck hope you feel better soon!
  8. Very true the waiting is killer emotionally and wallet wise it makes a dent lol BUT also the longer its put off the longer the hiring process becomes. Theres a youtuber called "Melecia At Home" and she makes a ton of videos about working from home and online jobs ect you should check out and its free info.
  9. What would you like to buy

    A new personality and mental clarity
  10. Everyone here is btteling similar or different battles ! some smaller and bigger from one another but the feelings are almost all the same. Most people here are very kind and understanding ! do not let your problems make you feel as if they are not relevant and feel guilty for how you feel. Anxiety itself is such an odd thing to deal with. I have severe anxiety and it makes dissociate a lot . But anyways honestly one year is still very short so youre probably still adjusting to your new circumstances and you feel anxious about it but with time youll learn to deal with your new circumstances and maybe youll start to feel and see more joy in things.
  11. Wow im sorry to hear that. I havent had a job in a while too. Almost two years I wanna say or a year and a half and its rough because you really cant do anything without money. Basic necessities are all bought with money. Ive recently started looking for jobs online and you actually dont need a college education to work with customer service or other stuff online. You should look into it!
  12. What would you like to buy

    Movie projector
  13. Weight is such a tricky thing to deal with. Food is all around us and I think most of us have an unhealthy mindset when it comes to food its used to celebrate happiness and deal with sadness lol theres no going around with! Ive struggled with food my whole life I never had a healthy relationship with either. I just hate people that call others too fat or too skinny without knowing the story.Thats nice to hear youre starting work!! I wanna get a job so bad its been a while but my stomach gets in a knot just thinking about working when I can barely handles school with mental illness. Omg he has dementia! :( im sorry to hear that! Im glad you at least feel more at peace and are dont hold anger against him. In the end I know anger do us more harm then it does to the person were angry against
  14. You are so right ! I hope maybe with time it will bring some sort of clarity for all of us I know i am not perfect at all and I did not handle that situation well at all. My nephew was sick and it was not the time for me to bring that up and react that way :( based on her reaction though I doubt it brought any clarity. Thank you so much! You always have the right thing to see you should be a therapist! :)
  15. It didnt matter to her at all! she told me that I was the one with issues because im out doing drugs which I DO NOT DO DRUGS I dont even really drink Alcohol I tried using garden shrub to help me sleep and the pan didnt work and instead gave me major anxiety and I kept getting panic attacks for 2 weeks straight it was the worst experience of my life and she knows that and she decided to use it against me and somehow decided that me getting high once was suddenly me being a druggy ?? and then she said "EVERYONE HATES YOU!!! I do take care of my kids and blah blah " so really it did nothing but cause my mother pain and frankly myself pain. My chest has been hurting all day from the anxiety. Right now I dont know what the outcome will be from this :( like you said I have to see how this pans out thanks for listening to me and responding ! I appreciate it :)