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June322

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About June322

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    Female
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    existence, the universe, nutrition, plants, music, movies, anime, dreams , psychology and food.

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  1. Today I had a mental Breakdown at in the school bathroom. I felt it coming too.. the aching pain in my chest , the pounding in my head..my mouth going dry. I started to dissociate and panic in class and then finally broke down in the bathroom. Afterwards when I came home I felt so exhausted and not just the exhaustion you feel after a good cry but my body just felt so worn out. I also felt a lot of physical pain. I took a nap and woke up feeling like a truck ran over me and my mind felt drunk. I realized my body has been feeling worn out this entire week and after watching my mom have a breakdown last night and then going to school and watching an emotional psychological movie it just broke me. Thats just a little background of what happened that lead me to this thought but ...man mental illness really just wrecks your body. Its not just your brain not being in good condition but it really starts to manifest itself physically as well. Your Health start to deteriorate and it makes it harder to get better because not only is it just your FEELINGS of feeling down but its Physical as well. Its crazy. People that dont struggle with this stuff dont realize how sick it can really make you. Anyways I havent been posting much because ironically enough I dont wanna bother people here with my problems lol But I wnated to share this as a reminder to take a step back and try to recognize when our mental illness gets to the point where it starts to break us down as a whole and its important to take care of ourselves and distress whenver possible. we need it . take care folks.
  2. its my birthday today and Ive been thinking how its been years now where I kind of just stopped looking forward to the reminder of my date of my birth. so I just have a question for you all. how do you feel about your birthday ? did you stop counting after a while ? and just not cared. How do yall feel about birthdays In general thoughts on this topic ? thanks 🙂
  3. You are Not going Crazy I can assure you that. Youre tormenting yourself over thoughts that are out of your control. We all have millions of thoughts a day and most people dont think much of them but Our OCD makes us believe as though these thoughts are somehow representative of who we are when their not. Believe me that if everyone had ocd and thought their thoughts represent their self conscious then we would all be in psych wards forever lol The best thing that helps with intrusive thoughts is trully realizing that our thoughts are not our own and we Can Not control them so there is no point in trying to or getting obsessive over thinking that these thoughts mean something when they dont. I know it sounds really simple but it truly does help when you just let go and let the thoughts be then they will no longer be as intrusive and they wont bother you as much once you accept that you cant control them and its ok dont mean anything and they dont make you a bad person.
  4. Hi td . Im glad that you came here to vent. I hope writing that down at least brought some sort of alleviation . You said that you've pretty much felt anxious your whole life. If anxiety is something that you've felt for most of your life then its bound to creep up on you sometimes for no apparent reason. Its a horrible feeling to have and its not easy to get used to but I sincerely think it can get better and a lot easier to deal with. Anxiety is a default setting in us and unless we address it its going to be something thats in us all the time. Im curious to know if you have ever tried speaking to a therapist before about your anxiety ? usually anxiety is something that is caused by some sort of triggered or as children it could have been implemented in us by our parents without us knowing. Anxiety doesn't just go away. its begging us to confront it and the more one ignores it the bigger it get. You should not be mad at yourself for feeling anxious. You just sound like you need help and you haven't properly received the help and tools to deal with this. It does not help to hear that you feel like your wife is not affection with you and offers no support. Our partners cant solve our issues even our emotional/mental ones But having their support certainly helps in aiding our recovery and seeking help. Talk to your wife and tell them how you feel and how all you really want is to feel their support and know that even if they cant solve your issue that having their support would be a great help and offer that support back. I sincerely wish you all the best and I you get the help you deserve !
  5. Glad you made this thread!! sleep seems to be underrated when it comes to its vitality for over all mental and physical health . personally my sleeping has gone back to it dark days where I get very little sleep and I usually cant sleep at night and only sleep a little in the day and definetly has made my physical and mental health worsen . i hope i can fix it soon and get better sleep
  6. A lot of it is also misunderstandings. Im sure you've hurt people in your life as well without wanting to. Humans are very complex and its sometimes hard for us to understand each other and because of lack of communications and misunderstandings we hurt each other a lot. But there is also a lot of good in people. It sucks because bad people and their horrible actions get our attention a lot more then Good people
  7. I sometimes have that Issues as well. I cant go to sleep too early or else I wont be able to stay asleep
  8. My mom. She was raised by religious parents. As she got older she still belived in God and even put us in Church school. But as we went into our teens my mother wen throguh a lot psychologically and emotionally she was scarred by my father and she lost faith. Im sure she has sin plenty in her past and in a way her sin was also not to save us from our father when we were children . She slowly started to sway away from God and she was extremely depressed and low. But then she started to Pray more and with a few years of suffering and searching , her Faith in God has never been stronger. It seems my mom has a strong faith and God and is loving it. I personally dont belive in that stuff. But if she can find her path in believing in God again and feeling Forgiven then Im sure you can too 🙂 If you really want to be forgiven by God and regret your sins and your actively trying to change then im Sure God has forgiven you and the holly spirit is in you waiting to be awaken and the only thing stoping you is you not forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself and start over . We all sin and make mistakes it ok. I hope you feel better soon.
  9. I definitely do. It doesn't help that it makes me realize how fast time seems to go. But like you said staying up only makes us less equipped to face the next day and its best to rest up. Ive been struggling a lot with sleep lately and the stress and anxiety is seeping into my dreams. Im trying my best to just learn to love sleep and leave my worries at the door. I hope things get better for you! and you should let yourself rest and have a good night sleep. You deserve some rest so you can face the next day stronger then yesterday 🙂
  10. yeah In general My town is not the safest. There are certain parts that are more dangerous then others and this job is on the "unsafe" side of my town. Still im 50/50 lol I dont know what to do 😞 if I say no I know im probably going to kick myself for it later
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