Katzenjammer

Thank you for replying to my questions, for sone reason I haven’t been able to respond, the reply box hasn’t been there. !?!!? I checked into my account today and it was back. So, thank you Tungsten

I’m thinking good thoughts for you nirah. (((hugs))) to you. katzenjammer

In a crazy intense period of stress & anxiety for a 2-month period this summer, I began to have some breaks from reality in the form of auditory and tactile hallucinations. This has been really difficult to face, I feel alternately terrified and ashamed. I’ve had other illnesses ( OCD, depression, anxiety, bulimia & anorexia and now BP2. ) It’s having these schizoaffective episodes that’s been really disheartening to me. How strange it is to think, “....this is my life at 62, how did I get HERE?) Has anyone had schizoaffective psychotic episodes like this while diagnosed with Bipolar 2? Ive accepted the hypomania and depression, even the rapid cycling times. I just am unprepared for this. what to do - I don’t know there to go.? Thank you for listening, katzenjamner (I posted this in the bipolar forum without any success, maybe here I might get better results) thx, -Katz

During a very intense period of stress and anxiety that lasted close to 2 months this summer, I had several experiences characterized as auditory and tactile hallucinations. This has been really difficult to face - Im not sure why this is so tough. I feel alternately terrified and ashamed. I’ve had several mental disorders, including OCD, depression, anxiety, bulimia & anorexia (and now BP2. ) But having these schizoaffective episodes, as my psychologist calls them, has been really disheartening to me. I guess part of this is that I can’t believe that this is my life at 62 and am at a loss to explain how it got so bad. Has anyone had “breaks from reality” or episodes like this while diagnosed with Bipolar 2? I accept that I’ll have to live the hypomanic and depressive parts that make up BP2 (even the rapid cycling times) , I just am unprepared for this. Thank you for listening, katzenjamner

Ooh, nirah007, I read your blog post and I couldn’t not reply. Accepting isn’t easy. 3 years ago I moved in with my dad (he’s 91 now), presumably to help him out, take care of him, so neither one of us would be alone, blah blah blah. My daughter, who is just a light in my life, came with me and it’s been the 3 of us for the last 3 years. Then she moved to NorCal and bam!!! I find myself having to accept that I’m living with him for like always. And I try to think about how it must be hard to be in his shoes. But I’m having a hard time accepting it. I smile and nod and pray for my heart to change toward him. I hope this gets better for us, I think having your husband’s smiling face will make all the difference for you (((hugs))))) katz

I know!!! I sometimes run into my cat (or rather he runs into me) when I’m on the way to the refrigerator- to feed him, of course....then he turns around and looks at me like I did it purposely, so hurt. I end up running after him to give him a hug, kinda like “.... let me give you some love...” but he continues to feign distrust for a good 5 minutes at least, until he wants his food. Then we’re good again.

allalone6, I too held on to the hope that my life would work out and one day I’d be happy. It’s so hard to face what my life has become because of depression and mental illness. I guess I’m still kind of holding on to it, otherwise maybe I could eventually get over the HUGE disappointment that it has been not achieving that. Im sorry you’re feeling so abandoned. The Kayaking trip sounded like a good thing. I admire you for walking and biking, that’s inspiring. I hope you keep writing your blog, It helps, and I think it helps others. :))) katz

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so much pain. Im glad you joined DF, sometimes there’s nowhere else to go. You’re not alone. Katzenjammer

To Tilted and Stoic Lady, thank you for posting. I’m so glad I came across your posts, I do get the pain and sadness you’re going through, right now I’m clinging to the hope that life won’t always be this difficult. It’s hard to go on when it feels like this will never change. I wish peace for you tonight. Katzenjammer

Dude333, thanks for taking the time to reply. Even though I can’t talk to my family about this right now (they know about the bipolar 2 but not the radio stuff), these replies have helped me feel less alone. im going to bring it up at my next appt. thx, Katz

Dear June, Thanks for the reply, I feel somewhat less alone. You’ve given me some things to think about, especially the idea that we sometimes feel as if we had “every mental illness in the world”.... so true. : ))))

I don’t have any place to ask this question other than this forum - I truly don’t know what to do I’ve fought depression and OCD since 16-17 yrs. old, (I’m 62 now), and have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar II. Dr. started me on Lamictal and is slowly increasing dosages & decreasing the SSRI’s My question is, in the midst of this I’ve been going through a really stressful few weeks (family member hospitalized, enormous debt, beloved family member moving away) and I’ve started to hear voices in my head, like a radio is broadcasting inside my head-voices with strange accents & dialect. I can’t believe this is happening, I don’t know what to think about it, I’m just really frightened and confused. Does anyone have experience with this? have you heard of it before? I’m worried I’m losing my grip. Thank you for listening, K

It made a difference to me. Tonight it helped more than you could know. Bless you,

Dear Oussama, I’m hoping because you’ve posted that somewhere deep down inside you know there is some small sliver of hope for you, just as I know and pray that there is a sliver of hope for each of us on this forum. It’s a place to start,don’t you think? I wish you peace and hope, I know your journey is a painful one, yet please know we are here for you, and know you are in my thoughts tonite as I write this. All is not lost, dear one. I believe that you have a purpose, there is forgiveness, and you are here for a reason. Please take care and be safe ((( hugs)))) warmly, katzenjammer

Alex, You are not alone. At all. I certainly understand the isolation, and I know from spending time on this site that you are among comrades. We all get the isolation and the loneliness I don’t have any special wisdom but I am here often enough to offer a listening ear. And others do too. Your life is important,, we can never know what a difference we will make in someone else’s life.. I wish only good things for you. Please take care and keep coming back here if you need a lifeline. warmly, Katzenjammer